On Being a Bookworm

Cousins and siblings and me

My four siblings and I grew up without cable TV, and with our noses in books at every possible moment - when we were supposed to be studying (hidden behind our study books of course, or smuggled into the bathroom for long 'bathroom breaks'), during family holidays in Panchgani, during class in school (did our teachers know and just ignore it as not worth caring about?), during our larger family parties where no one would notice one or two grandchildren missing (of course one carries a storybook to parties), and so on.

My parents never had to figure out what to give us for Christmas and birthdays, we were usually into one particular series of Enid Blytons and were perfectly satisfied to receive another book to add to the collection (not to mention, as soon as we finished our own books, we would exchange with our siblings).

My parents were bookworms themselves, and most afternoon rest time and late nights before bed, they would pick up their current book and read a few more pages. They had much more discipline than the rest of us though, who would usually not stop reading until we finished our book, even if it meant reading by torchlight or cell phone light so we wouldn't get in trouble if my parents saw the light on in the early hours of the morning.

Yes, I had a book at a picnic

I am currently rereading Little Women in anticipation of the movie coming out in a few weeks. As I read, I am reminded of how the books we read and grow up reading form us and become a part of us. The characters in Little Women not only seem like old friends I know well, but as I read about Meg's efforts at homemaking, I was reminded that keeping a home clean and beautiful is a worthwhile gift to give my family (well, my husband at the moment), and I actually left my book to go and complete my many half-done household chores. As I read about Jo going 'into a vortex', as she started writing her stories, I remembered my dear blog and the joy I get out of my scribbles, and out of sharing them with others.

I have often bemoaned my (lack of an) education in convent school - I feel like I wasted many years of my life parroting facts, daydreaming and learning how to be invisible. What I should  have been doing was discovering the world, how big and interesting it was, and how fascinating learning could be. But what I missed out in school, I gained through my storybooks. I learned about the world through those books, I learned what history felt like through fiction and non-fiction set in different times and places and ages. For the general knowledge I have now, the familiarity with different cultures, the vocabulary and the writing skill I possess, I credit the books I voraciously consumed through my life.

Of course I chose 'Books' as my topic for Topic Week during my teacher's training course

But I have also come to the conclusion that being a bookworm is not a permanent identity, and it can (and has) been easily stolen by the temptations of the Internet. I have not been a bookworm for several years now, choosing instead to consume the written word on Facebook and Twitter. What a waste of time most of that has been. I recently asked a friend to change my Twitter password, and my new year's resolution has been to read more books, which has been happening aided by spotty Internet (a mixed blessing). If I want to grow and learn, I have to give up something to get something. If I want my kids to love to read as I did, they'd better not see me stuck to my phone.

I have also realized that not all books are worth consuming, and that I need to be a little picky about how I spend my reading time. When I was young I consumed every book I could get my hands on. I must have read every book I found in my home (we had a big bookshelf filled with books), not just the children's books. In the process, I came across some thrillers with graphic violent and sexual scenes that scarred my mind. It's hard to remove mental pictures once you see them. I also spent a few years reading sexually explicit romance novels, a sinful habit that was addictive and hard to break but thanks be to God was finally able to. I wish I had never come across some of those books, and will do my best to make sure I read every book in my house because if my kids are anything like me, they will have the same struggles.

The solution is not to ban books, but to fill your home with good books, books worth reading, books that inform and enlighten and illuminate, books that lift you up out of yourself, or give you a glimpse of the good, the true and the beautiful, books that make you want to fight injustice and be a better person and love and live without fear.

Reading one of The Chronicles of Narnia to my nieces a few years ago

I also wish I had been exposed to more Indian authors and storybooks, because my knowledge of my own country is lacking. I know more about life in Nazi Germany than I know about the Indian freedom struggle. I wish there were more easily available and readable books about the normal lives of different types of Indians of different times. It is such a diverse country, and there is so much to learn. I feel like I've learned more about lives of Indians by following Humans of Bombay than I have in years of reading books. I'm sure there are more books, I just have to be more intentional about seeking them out and buying them. Reading Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie was quite the eye-opener.

As a teenager and as an adult, the Catholic and Christian books I read formed my conscience, my imagination and my desires, and slowly helped me set my mind on higher things. Books like The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom, The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne, He and I by Gabrielle Bossis, Searching for and Maintaining Peace by Fr. Jacques Philippe, and even The Chronicles of Narnia were very formative. Little Women and books by Mrs. George de Horne Vaizey (what a mouthful) had Christian worldviews, and while perhaps they were not always subtle, they were effective in making me want to be holy, to be less selfish, to be better.

I wish we had more well-stocked public libraries. I visited a beautiful one in Panjim, Goa. I still hope one day to start a library that makes good books accessible to underprivileged children. But I also wish educated and privileged parents would invest in story books for their children. Reading doesn't seem to be a popular pastime in India. Another dream I have is to be a professional storyteller who goes to different schools and groups and tells stories and gets kids excited about books. I did that during the one year I taught in a village school, and all my children loved reading by the end of the year.

One dream at a time. I'll start with me, and try to return to the world of books this year.

What good books have you read lately? Do you read as much as you'd like to?

My class in the village school, with the 'library corner' far left

Five Things I've Learned about Living with a Spouse

A month ago a friend asked me to write an article for the bulletin of the Family Commission Centre, with just a day's notice. I managed to complete it, and I thought I'd share it here with my blog readers... to make up for the weeks when I didn't post anything (sorry!).

I got married just one month ago, so as a newly married wife, I am obviously now an expert on marriage. Just kidding! I am in the process of learning to live with and love another human being, a lifelong process. My lessons started long before I met my spouse - in my family, and in different women’s households over the past nine years. The lessons I learned have been invaluable, and are serving me well, as I begin life with a husband.

1. Your spouse is different from you, and that is okay: It is so tempting to want our spouse to become another version of us, to do things our way. I prefer quiet, contemplative prayer times where I listen to an audio bible reflection and journal as I drink my coffee. I can hear my husband on the other hand in the next room strumming the guitar loudly, singing worship songs vigorously and reading Scripture aloud. Which is a better way to pray? That’s a silly question! God makes us different so we can learn from each other and be blessed by each other’s unique gifts and perspectives.

2. Gratitude changes everything: One of the sneakiest ways Satan tries to attack our relationships, is by planting seeds of resentment. The best way to combat that temptation is to cultivate gratitude. Look at your spouse, and your life together and thank God (and your spouse) for the gifts you see. None of us are perfect. But life doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful. "Thank you for loving me." "Thank you for cooking that meal, that was delicious." "I am so blessed to have a husband like you. I feel so loved." See how these words can transform our relationships.

3. Mercy must replace blame: We were driving from Pune to Mumbai last weekend when we suddenly realized that I had left our house keys in Pune. Our ONLY set of house keys. It was completely my fault as I had overstuffed my handbag and they had fallen out. In that moment, Joel extended grace and mercy to me. Not only did he NOT say "What were you thinking? You should have been more careful!", he instead prayed for me and the situation because he could see that I was upset by my mistake. What a beautiful witness of Christ-like behaviour! It was also a good reminder to me that the next time he made a mistake, I should remember I am far from perfect.

4. My project is ME, not my spouse: This might be particularly a wife’s temptation, but it’s so easy to want to improve and change one’s spouse. It is so much easier to see their faults and shortcomings than our own. Jesus had some clear words. ‘First take the log out of your own eye, before trying to take the speck out of your husband’s.’ My job is to work on my own holiness. So I try to avoid nagging and criticizing and constantly making suggestions for improvement.

5. There is actually grace in the sacrament: We don’t have to do this on our own strength, because we can’t. Sacramental marriages have a special grace attached to them. ‘Christ dwells with them, gives them the strength to take up their crosses…, to rise again after they have fallen, to forgive one another, to bear one another's burdens, to "be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ," and to love one another with supernatural, tender, and fruitful love.’ CCC 1642 We need to claim that grace and thank God for it. We also need to acknowledge the Third Person in our marriage, and receive His grace afresh, by spending some time together in prayer every day.

The Impossible Dreams I Dreamed

"I want to do something meaningful with my life, I want to get out of this selfish, self-centred rut, and live for others."
"Good luck with that. I used to think like that too. We all did. But once you start working, you forget about those dreams."

I was a naive 20 year old just out of my teacher's training, and instead doing a stint in the corporate world as an instructional designer in an e-learning company. Would I forget about those silly dreams with (what seemed to be to be) a fat pay cheque coming in every month, settling down into the real world?

*******

"Susanna is open to getting married, but she is waiting to find someone whose faith is strong and central to his life."
The Catholic auntie who was questioning my mum and me about my life choices made a skeptical face. "That's a little unrealistic these days, isn't it?"

Was it unrealistic, overly idealistic? Would I die waiting for someone who didn't exist, the laughing stock of onlookers, a good example of kooky Christians out of touch with the real world?

I had consistently desired and believed from the time I was young that I was called to family life, to be a mother and a wife. As I grew older, I sometimes wondered, why would God have put these strong desires in my heart (not everyone had them) if they were not meant to be fulfilled? I began to be embarrassed to share that dream with others as I crossed 30.

*******

On the Feast of the Epiphany yesterday, I suddenly thought about how ridiculous the three wise men must have seemed as they started their journey, following a... star??!! There must have been more socially acceptable ways to spend their time, or search for truth and meaning. Who gets on camels and follows a star? Maybe people didn't outwardly deride them, because they were obviously important, well-to-do men known for their wisdom. But in all times and places and cultures, there are social norms for what are and are not acceptable life goals.

It must have taken a very long time, probably years of preparation and study, and months of the actual journey. But, oh the joy, when they found the One they had been searching for!

And behold, the star that they had seen at its rising preceded them, 
until it came and stopped over the place where the child was. 
They were overjoyed at seeing the star, 
and on entering the house they saw the child with Mary his mother. 
They prostrated themselves and did him homage. (Matt 2: 9-11)

This is not a blog post about believing in yourself and following your dreams. Not all dreams are worth pursuing. (Unpopular opinion, I know.)

But when we quiet ourselves, and search within, we often find the God-given dreams and hopes, the purest desires of our hearts. Many have not yet been fulfilled.

Maybe it's a dream of a strong Christian community where your faith is nourished and strengthened.

Maybe it's a desire for a specific kind of mission - a community centre where all are welcomed and loved and offered Christ, an outreach to sex workers, a prolife ministry.

Maybe it's a dream for mental, emotional or physical healing, where you are not constantly struggling and overwhelmed and drowning.

Maybe it's a dream for reconciliation and healing in your family.

Maybe it's a dream for a solid Christian spouse and a family.

Maybe it's a simple dream to live a happy and holy life wherever you are.

Maybe it's a dream to be free of a certain sin that you struggle with - pornography, indiscipline, anger.

Maybe these dreams seem unrealistic and far away and unlikely to ever reach completion.

Do not stifle these dreams! Hold on to them! Pursue them! Wait for them! Pray for them! Write them down! Find people who will encourage you in your dreams. (No cynics or pessimists allowed.) Do not allow despair or frustration rob your heart of hope.

Pope John Paul II said, "“It is Jesus that you seek when you dream of happiness; He is waiting for you when nothing else you find satisfies you; He is the beauty to which you are so attracted; it is He who provoked you with that thirst for fullness that will not let you settle for compromise; it is He who urges you to shed the masks of a false life; it is He who reads in your heart your most genuine choices, the choices that others try to stifle. It is Jesus who stirs in you the desire to do something great with your lives, the will to follow an ideal, the refusal to allow yourselves to be ground down by mediocrity, the courage to commit yourselves humbly and patiently to improving yourselves and society, making the world more human and more fraternal.”

*********

You know my story. I left my job, worked for a happy year in a school in a village. I joined a Catholic mission organization, and learned to be holy and less selfish over the next nine years. A year ago, I met and was courted by a strong man of faith, and we are now married and have started our family life together. Some dreams take time, but they are worth waiting for.

I have more dreams. I am tempted to get impatient and doubtful when I don't see them immediately take form. But remembering the slow ways God led me forward in the past gives me hope.

I pray this post gives you hope too.

Related Resources

How To Begin Dreaming (Abiding Together podcast: 33 minutes audio)

Top Ten Posts of 2019

No. 10 Stop Bothering God! 

A little story from my daily life, one that seems almost insignificant now reached the position of tenth most-read in the last year. I wouldn't have expected it to be that interesting to anyone else, but I guess real life stories are always more interesting than the most well-crafted theoretical writing. I know I'm more likely to read a story than a homily. Go ahead and give it a read if you missed it.

No. 9 Thoughts of a Typical Catholic at Sunday Mass aka Sixty Minutes of Daydreaming

This is one of those funny and perhaps a little too relatable to too many Catholics (to our shame). It was fun to write and fun to re-read. I still giggle every time I look at the memes I crated for the post. Too real. It was actually meant to be an introduction to a series on the real meaning of the different parts of the Mass, and hot to connect and focus during Mass, but I didn't get down to doing the necessary study and so those posts still aren't written. Should I work on them in the new year?

No. 8 The SAHM Series: Why do Stay-At-Home-Mums Stay at Home? (Part 1 of 3) 

This was an unusual kind of blog post, more of an interview-style or a magazine article. I primarily shared other women's stories and experiences, and put in very few of my own opinions. I think it got so many readers because one of the moms who shared her story shared it on her Facebook and a lot of people were very interested in her life and family. Should I write more articles like this - sharing other people's stories?

No. 7 Ten Catholic Trivia Questions Most Indian Catholics Will Get Wrong

This was another unusual one - it was actually a quiz that I created and embedded into the post. I had seen some of these quizzes before that were ridiculously easy and seemed to be created just in order to make people feel good about themselves. I confess I went a little bit in the opposite direction, making it so tough that almost no one scored full marks. Full disclosure: Even I didn't really score full marks because I found out only after creating the quiz that I had wrongly assumed something about canon law. Also confession: I didn't write all the follow up posts explaining each question. I wrote three, got distracted and then started writing about something else. Did anyone notice? Anyone still waiting for answers or clarity on some of the quiz questions?

No. 6 The Time I Confronted a Priest

Just the name of this post sounds kind of attention-seeking, but I promise it was a real and thoughtful encounter, and one of the most crucial ways in which God allowed me to grow. The post is more about how to confront someone in a Christian way, an area I think every parish and Christian organization needs to train their members and leaders in. Seminaries, are you teaching this? Once again there was a follow-up post I haven't written yet - Receiving Correction Graciously. When should I get to that?

No. 5 You Are Delightful 

I'm so glad this one reached the Top Five, because it is one of my personal favourites, and I think I need to re-read it again and again. If you haven't read it yet, please do! Sometimes God clearly speaks His truths through my writing (other times it's just me being boring), and this is one of those posts that has God's fingerprints all over it.

No. 4 Divine Renovation: Practical Ways to Renew Your Parish

This was a cross between a book review and a list of tips to renew your parish with excerpts and ideas from Fr. James Mallon's book, Divine Renovation. Imagine my excitement when I saw Fr. James retweeted my blog post. (Yes, I'm on Twitter: @SueZanna86). So that's probably why it reached the Top 4. I'm sure Fr. Mallon was happy for the publicity, and I was happy to publicize a worthwhile and helpful book. I still hope parish priests read it. Maybe you should send them my blog post? And gift them a copy of the book? Do it!

No. 3 Valentine’s Day Special: What It Is Like To Have a Catholic Boyfriend

Of course the post with the words VALENTINE'S DAY and BOYFRIEND was the third most read post of 2019, possibly also because it was a relationship announcement, and I've been the Single Cat Lady TM for so long that I have years' worth of posts on being single. Come to think of it, I would read random acquaintances' love stories if only they would write about them. Come on, guys. Share your lives! (P.s. I DID get it passed by Joel before I shared it.)

No. 2 Quick Thoughts on the New Graham Staines Movie

This was just a movie review, but it was about a movie that not many people were writing about. My husband has been encouraging me to write more about the current day intersection between faith and culture, and about modern-day issues that Catholics are trying to figure out, I think I'd like to, but it means being disciplined enough to write fast, and not wait for months by which time the issue has faded from people's minds. That is the kind of writing I would like to read - informed and faith-filled Indian Catholics writing about Indian issues. American Catholics have plenty of those kind of articles, but we seem to be lacking in our social media presence.

No. 1 The Wedding Chronicles: God Designed My Wedding Dress

This one actually reached my all time top ten most-read posts. then again, it does have the words WEDDING and WEDDING DRESS in the title, so is that even surprising? But you know what, this story deserves to be read, because it was written by God, and I need to do better at retelling the cool stories he writes in my life.

That's all, folks! Thank you, faithful blog readers and especially patrons for reading, commenting, sharing and donating. On the days when I don't feel motivated to write, I remember some stray feedback from someone, and I realize that perhaps God IS using this blog, and I should push myself to start writing again. Happy New Year, dear readers!

If you enjoy reading my blog, consider becoming a patron for just Rs 100 or $1 a month. Patrons receive a weekly behind-the-scenes video made by me! Email me on solosenilejive@gmail.com or visit my Patreon page to become a patron.

The Wedding Chronicles: The Secret to a Peaceful Bride

I don't really like weddings. Well, in theory they sound exciting and fun, but in reality they're usually overwhelming and just too much... and that's just as a guest. If you ask a bride and groom to be honest about the wedding, it's much worse. All that planning and organization, all the expectations thrown at you by everybody, all the people to meet and greet and take care of, all the little details that can go wrong... it's a recipe for anxiety.

I was worried about the wedding from the beginning. "What if I don't sleep well the night before? I know what a mess I am when I'm tired. How do I smile for 700 guests and the photographer? I can't smile on demand. How do I even relate to 700 people? How do introverts survive their own weddings?"

Many months before Joel and I had prayed about it, and I felt the Lord asking me to surrender having the wedding in my own hometown, and having it in Joel's village instead. There were a variety of reasons, but in the end, the Lord told me clearly to give up my attachments to my plan.

The week before the wedding I read a bible passage during my prayer time:

Unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. John 12: 24-25

I love my comfort zone, doing things the safe way, the predictable way. But God was telling me again that if I wanted to grow, to be fruitful, to be happy,  I had to stop clinging to comfort and to safety and to the things that I thought would make me safe and happy, and allow HIM to be in charge of both my peace and my happiness.

We had a crazy wedding day. There were completely unexpected heavy rains in the weeks leading up to the wedding, and despite the prayers, it rained heavily the day before the wedding. There was no alternate reception venue indoors because of the numbers, so we stuck to the grounds where we originally planned to have it, but large parts of the ground were marshy and wet. The weather was sweltering and humid. I was mopping up sweat under my veil during the Mass.

The priests didn't enter as we expected, so our entrance hymn which we both had looked forward to was cancelled. Our caterer and decorator turned out to be inept and messed up most of the things we asked him to take care of. The centerpieces I planned didn't happen, there were no fairy lights, the stage was rickety, people toasted us in plastic cups, the sound stopped working intermittently. I could go on, but I should stop.

In the midst of all this chaos, was I an anxious, angry wreck? Praise be to God, we were both happy and peaceful. It was the Miracle of the Wedding at Vasai.

Because of an attitude of abandonment and trust, we prayed our way through every struggle that came up. The day before the wedding we were not supposed to see each other, and in fact, were supposed to remain in our respective homes. Instead, Joel and I together with my maid of honour headed out for Confession, spent time at an Adoration chapel, and had lunch together. In the evening after the wedding rehearsal, we had a time of quiet prayer with some of our family and friends in Adoration.

Fr. Jacques Philippe says, ''Any reasons to lose your peace are bad reasons."

Though so many things went wrong that day, I received so many gifts I would have missed if I had been anxious or controlling.

- There was peace and perfect harmony between Joel and me and our immediate families throughout.

- I slept NINE hours the night before the wedding and was peaceful and relaxed even when I kept hearing about things going wrong. In fact, Joel had left me a letter to be opened IN CASE I felt anxious... and I didn't need to open it at all.

- The church looked beautiful and was packed. One of my desires was that I had a full church at my wedding, in opposition to the common practice many guests have of skipping the wedding Mass and coming for the reception.

- My sweet bridegroom actually did cry as I walked up the aisle to him. He said he was able to fully enter into the liturgy and received a lot, which was one of our prayers beforehand.

- So many of my friends and family travelled all the way (some from out of the country) to be with me on this important day, and even though I couldn't spend much time with most of them, it blessed my heart that they loved me enough to be present.

- In the moments of realizing the imperfections around me, and beginning to get stressed out, the Lord sent me my little niece who stuck to me through most of the reception.

- We had some fun moments with the wedding march and a group dance we call the Belgian dance that lots of guests joined in.

- There were many touches of beauty that soothed my heart - my aunt put together gorgeous bouquets, my mum created the wedding cake, the stage backdrop was exactly what I asked for, my bridesmaids'outfits that I had envisioned looked beautiful (I had picked very unusual outfits for them so I wasn't sure how it would all work), my hair and makeup done by my cousin and friend survived the humidity, and of course you read about the dress.

By the end of the reception though, I was hungry, tired, and totally done. I actually burst into tears and told my new husband I wanted to go home. The next morning we had to go for 7 am Mass (I was dressed in the traditional shalu) and then there was a bangle ceremony at his home. I was exhausted, but I made it through all the traditions and expectations (a very toned down version of typical weddings in his culture).

A few days later we returned to Pune for a small party with my family and some friends, and my cousins and friends went out of their way to make sure the party was beautifully decorated. I finally got my fairy lights and centerpieces!

Being a bride was definitely not a fairy tale, and I don't think it is for most women. At the end of the wedding celebrations, I was exhausted, and ready to return to a life of introversion. But my heart was at peace, because I knew I had married the right man, and was able to start my life together with him. I could have missed out on the joy of marriage if I had allowed the fear of discomfort to control me.

So what was the secret to a peaceful bride?

An attitude of abandonment and trust, and detachment from the perfect wedding. God didn't promise us that everything would be perfect, but He did promise us His presence and His peace if we were willing to accept it... and He kept His promise.

Related Reading

The Secret to Peace, Lent and Everything

The Wedding Chronicles: God Designed My Wedding Dress

The Advent To-Do List

So it's already Day 3 of Advent, and if you, like me, have been procrastinating on making some Advent decisions, this post is here to help you out! It's so easy to get bogged down by searching for the perfect Advent discipline (apt enough, not too hard, not too easy, unique enough) and never get down to making some concrete decisions. Not that different from New Year's Resolutions and Lenten penances.

Here's the thing though. It doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to happen. Do something.

I'm not going to give you a bunch of options in case you have a hard time choosing between them. Just follow this calendar, and make sure you don't stop. (If you already have something you've decided on, awesome! Let me know in the comments.) If you miss a day, just keep going, and do it another day if possible. If a particular task is not possible one day, switch it with another day. Read your task a day before, so you can add it to your schedule.

Day 3 of 24
Tuesday, 3rd December, 2019

Read this post about Advent and spend five minutes in silence asking God for the grace to make space for Him in your heart this month. [10 minutes]

Day 4 of 24
Wednesday, 4th December, 2019
Listen to the latest Abiding Together podcast: The Light Shines in the Darkness and journal: How is Satan is using fear to keep me away from God? [45 minutes]

Day 5 of 24
Thursday, 5th December, 2019
Before going to bed, do an Examen. Reflect on your day, and where you encountered God. Thank Him for the times you responded to His love, and ask forgiveness for the times you did not. Make a decision for tomorrow. [15 minutes]

Day 6 of 24
Friday, 6th December, 2019
Go for Mass. Journal: What is one thing God said to me during Mass today? [1 hour]

Day 7 of 24
Saturday, 7th December, 2019
Visit an Adoration chapel and tell Him about a problem you don't know how to solve. Try to be quiet and open to His response. [30 minutes]

Day 8 of 24
Sunday, 8th December 2019
It's the Feast of the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Pray a Memorare or nine Memorares for the intention of someone who is suffering in some way (infertility, physical sickness, mental health, grief). The Memorare is not magic, but a powerful prayer calling out to a powerful intercessor. [15 minutes.]

Day 9 of 24
Monday, 9th December, 2019
Read Isaiah 40:11 several times slowly.
Like a shepherd he feeds his flock; in his arms he gathers the lambs, 
Carrying them in his bosom, leading the ewes with care.
Imagine God holding you close to his heart. Stay in His embrace for a while.Then go and give someone a hug and remind them that God loves them. [20 minutes.]

Day 10 of 24
Tuesday, 10th December, 2019
Sing a worship song out loud. Even if you feel stupid singing by yourself. Sacrifice your dignity and receive His freedom in exchange. [15 minutes.]

Day 11 of 24
Wednesday, 11th December. 2019
Read Matthew 11: 28-30. Write down the list of burdens you are handing over to God. [20 minutes.]

Day 12 of 24
Thursday, 12th December, 2019
Read about Our Lady of Guadalupe and pray a Rosary for all nations to come to know Jesus. [30 minutes.]

Day 13 of 24
Friday, 13th December, 2019
Go for Mass. Read Psalm 1 slowly before you go. [45 minutes]

Day 14 of 24
Saturday, 14th December, 2019
Think about someone who has hurt your feelings or offended you recently. Ask God for the grace to forgive them from the heart, and to give up all thoughts of blame, accusation and resentment. Pray for that person's needs. [30 minutes.]

Day 15 of 24
Sunday, 15th December, 2019
It's Gaudete Sunday - share the joy of Christ by texting, calling or visiting someone you had been estranged from (could be yesterday's person). [5 minutes - 1 hour]

Day 16 of 24
Monday, 16th December, 2019
Pray the Divine Office today. [30 minutes]

Day 17 of 24
Tuesday, 17th December, 2019
Make a plan with your family or a group of friends to reach out personally to someone in need this month. [1 hour]

Day 18 of 24
Wednesday, 18th December, 2019
Buy a gift for someone you know who is likely to be in need. Think especially of domestic workers and their children, big families, and people who have lost their jobs recently. If you don't know anyone like that, ask your parish priest. [30 minutes]

Day 19 of 24
Thursday, 19th December, 2019
Wake up in the morning and before touching your phone, give thanks to God for ten blessings. [10  minutes.]

Day 20 of 24
Friday, 20th December. 2019
Go to Mass and visit an Adoration chapel. Invite a friend who wouldn't usually do that to accompany you. [1 hour]

Day 21 of 24
Saturday, 21st December, 2019
Make a morning offering. Through the day, remember to say "I'm doing this for You, Jesus'" as you run errands and get things done. [5 minutes]

Day 22 of 24
Sunday, 22nd December, 2019
Read Eight Tips to Surviving Christmas and make a plan for Christmas week that incorporates the tips. [30 minutes]

Day 23 of 24
Monday, 23rd December, 2019
Visit an Adoration Chapel and re-surrender everything on your mind and heart, especially family tensions and unfulfilled desires. [45  minutes.]

Day 24 of 24
Tuesday, 24th December, 2019
Read Matthew 1: 18 -25. Draw a sketch and place yourself in the Christmas story. Listen to Wonder by Bethel. [45 minutes]

Let me know if you are using this calendar, and if you'd like me to create a printable pdf version. Have a Holy Advent!

Related Reading

Hey, It’s Not Christmas Yet!

On Waiting

Changing My Christmas Wish List

The Wedding Chronicles: God Designed My Wedding Dress

Full disclosure: It was on the 11th of December last year, before Joel had even proposed that I started texting my maid of honour, Teresa, about wedding dress options. I knew I was going to marry this guy. I had already decided I didn’t want to buy a dress, and wanted to borrow one from another mutual friend. I had attended her wedding a few years ago, and LOVED her dress, and had hoped I could use it since then since we were of a similar build. The mutual friend agreed, and in February, I had a wedding dress! As Joel and I struggled through making headway with the rest of wedding planning, I would joke, “At least I have a dress! The essentials are in place.”

Unfortunately two months before the wedding I came to the realization that the minor adjustments I thought I needed to make were not so minor. I was (gasp) a little broader than the owner of the dress. I very, very regretfully, urged on by my mother, tailor and fiancé, gave up the idea of wearing that particular dress.

Two months to the wedding, and no dress! Wouldn’t that be a valid reason for a Bridezilla meltdown? Okay, I’ll admit I shed a few tears, but since the Lord had been training me for a while to be detached from ‘stuff’, I was able to let go.

“You could buy a dress, you know,” my fiancé suggested.

“But I don’t want to. I’m sure the Lord will provide something. I’ll ask around.”

So I asked around. I sent out discreet messages though different friends who were likely to know recent brides. My good friend, Adele, called back.

“SUZIE!!! God has a plan for your wedding dress!!!”

She told me that she shared my message on her ministry team group, and to her surprise, a young unmarried man contacted her.

“I have some wedding dress material, enough to make a dress, to give away.”

What was a bachelor doing with wedding dress material?? Apparently a relative of his had ordered the material from Dubai for her own wedding dress, but it hadn’t arrived in time, so she bought another dress to use, and told him to give away this material to anyone who needed it.

Adele was beside herself with excitement, while I was, as is my wont, skeptical. Just because it’s free, doesn’t mean it’s the type of material I would like. I couldn't tell from the picture. Anyway, it is extremely expensive to get a dress stitched from scratch, so I was still hoping for a ready-made dress that would somehow miraculously fit me and be the style I wanted. But her excitement made me feel like I should at least give this free material a chance. I arranged with the guy who had it to pick it up from him on my next trip to Mumbai.

Meanwhile I asked another close friend if I could use her dress, as I was sure it would fit. It wasn’t exactly the style I wanted, but in the end a wedding dress is just a white dress, right? I picked up her dress the same weekend I was supposed to go to Mumbai, but didn’t try it on. When I picked up the material, I still couldn’t tell if I really liked the style. It was some kind of net with heavy embroidery and beading all over it, and there was a LOT of material. I took it back home with me to get my mum’s opinion.

I returned from that trip and finally tried on my friend’s dress. It fit perfectly, like it had been made for me.

“Well, I guess I have a dress!”I told my mum.

“Let’s just look at the material too,” she said.

We opened it up and held it against the satin of the skirt of the dress. To our surprise, it looked beautiful over the satin. We looked more closely, and suddenly realized that the existing bead work on the bodice of my friend’s dress matched the material from Dubai exactly! I realized we wouldn’t have to make a dress from scratch, just find a tailor willing to add the material to the skirt and make sleeves for the dress too. I did find a tailor willing to do it within my budget, and willing to have it ready two weeks before the wedding. My aunt made a veil for me, and edged it with the same material as the skirt and sleeves.

The dress was beautiful. I felt beautiful in it. It was modest, old-fashioned, and almost regal. I had a couple of little girls fascinated with my dress, who would just come up and stroke it. I grabbed the opportunity to wear it twice – once on my wedding day, and a few days later at a smaller party in my hometown. When I wrote about a friend’s wedding dress miracle a few years ago, I didn’t realize I would get my own too. Although God isn’t a magician or a genie who appears to grant our every wish, He is a Father who loves to surprise and delight His children with his unexpected gifts. Although not every detail of my wedding went the way I would have preferred, I was surprised, delighted and blessed by a beautiful wedding dress.

Ps. My sister-in-law, sister and I came up with a cool idea. We want to create a database of wedding dresses that women are willing to lend new brides in Pune and Mumbai. The new bride would look through the pictures of dresses, contact the owner of the one she likes, try it on, pay a deposit, use it, dry clean it and return it. It would save new brides a lot of money and be a small way for brides to bless other brides. Who is in?