How To Be Holy and Happy During the Coronavirus Quarantine

BREAKING NEWS: India has just been put on lock down for the next three weeks, so this post is even more relevant. PS Please ration your supplies!

It's easy to write a post about what NOT to do because all I have to do is take notes from my own life and everybody else I know. But what we really need is a not-too-complicated list of what we CAN and SHOULD do. So here goes:

1. Make a daily schedule! Structure structure structure! Anyone who works from home can tell you the best way to sabotage yourself is to have great ambitions and refuse to put them into a schedule. Spontaneity is all very well for a while, but most of us humans need some kind of rhythm to our life in order to be productive and peaceful. Some of my friends have done this (especially those with kids). It doesn't have to be a tight schedule with every minute accounted for, but it should exist.

2. Get offline for at least a few hours every day! The Online World of Coronavirus News is a disease in itself. There's too much information! It's everywhere! There are gossip, jokes, news, opinions, medical advice, explanations, home remedies, warnings, predictions, but they can leave us sucked dry, motionless, anxious, panicky, or just distracted. You will find you mind relaxing, and your heartbeat returning to normal as you cook while listening to instrumental music, or clean your house, or draw a picture, or play an instrument, or go for a walk (for those who are still able to).

3. Pick two or three online pastimes, but stop there: Apart from Coronavirus news, there's also SO MANY productive options to spend time online - online retreats, online Masses and rosaries and reflections, free audio books, free operas, free concerts, online museums. We're spoiled for choice. We could learn new languages, watch movies, documentaries, learn crafts, research topics we're interested in... but if you're anything like me, perhaps the fact that there are so many options is paralyzing, and it's easier to just keep scrolling through social media feeds and thinking about how many great options there are and perhaps I should do that one.. and that one.. or perhaps that one? Just pick two or three, add them to your schedule, and stop there.

4. Take prayer breaks: Start your day with prayer and coffee, end your day with prayer, but don't forget to take little pauses during the day to pray too. Some people say a Hail Mary every time they wash their hands. I've been trying to do an Examen at least once a day. Say little prayers like "I love you, Lord." "I offer this moment to you." "Jesus, I trust in you." Participate in an online Mass if that helps you. Say a Rosary. My husband reminds me to pray the Angelus when the church bells ring. Pray a Divine Mercy chaplet for people dying alone. It's surprising how these little prayer habits make room for peace in your heart, home and day.

5. Take time alone and together: If you're living with other people, add some alone, quiet time to your schedule. If you tend to do things by yourself most of the time, add some people time to your schedule. Eat meals together and watch a movie. Play board games. Do jigsaw puzzles. If you're living alone, set up a video call to a friend at least once a day. This is a good time to reconnect, to love each other by 'wasting time together'. Don't let the desire to be productive or the temptation to anxiety and panic rob you of family time or people time.

6. Talk about things other than the pandemic: It's already on everyone's minds. But there is more to life than that, and our minds need a break from it. So intentionally choose to talk and think about other things as well - hopes, dreams, plans, memories, ideas, jokes.

7. Rediscover the Bible: Rather than focussing on what we have been deprived of (the sacraments, for a while). let's rediscover the gift and jewel most of us have lying in our homes. Eh. the bible, you say. Approach it in new ways! Start reading one book of the bible, underline verses that stand out and journal about them. (Look up a commentary to help you understand them.) Do a bible sharing with your family every day. Pick one bible verse every day to memorize and illustrate. Play bible trivia games:
- Everyone gets one chapter or book of the bible to read and study, and quiz questions will be asked at the end of the day.
- Everyone gets 5 minutes to study and memorize the names and order of the books in the bible, and then write them out without referring to the bible.
- Pick a bible verse at random and get the rest of the family to guess which book it comes from.
- Find the biblical passages certain famous hymns are based on.
- Choose a keyword like 'light', or 'bread', or 'mountain' and see how many bible verses each person or team can find in 10 minutes.
- Say a bible reference (book, chapter and verse) and the first person to find it wins the point
- Write your own song or tune based on a Psalm. Record it

8. Find ways to reach out to others: Just because you have been asked to distance yourself socially doesn't mean you have full permission to be as selfish and self-absorbed as possible. Ask God to show you how you can still reach out to others. Phone someone who might be lonely. Donate to those who have lost their livelihood because of the shutdowns. Make sure you are continuing to pay your maids, domestic workers, etc who are not allowed to go to work. Check in on your friends. Find little ways to bless your family members or housemates - join them in activities they would prefer, help them in their work, ask them how they are doing.

9. Take time for silence: You don't have to fill up every moment of the day. Take a few minutes here and there just to BE, to breathe, to surrender. It's hard, I know. But in the moments of silence, your soul will breathe.

Are you doing any of these things already? Any other suggestions?

The Impossible Dreams I Dreamed

"I want to do something meaningful with my life, I want to get out of this selfish, self-centred rut, and live for others."
"Good luck with that. I used to think like that too. We all did. But once you start working, you forget about those dreams."

I was a naive 20 year old just out of my teacher's training, and instead doing a stint in the corporate world as an instructional designer in an e-learning company. Would I forget about those silly dreams with (what seemed to be to be) a fat pay cheque coming in every month, settling down into the real world?

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"Susanna is open to getting married, but she is waiting to find someone whose faith is strong and central to his life."
The Catholic auntie who was questioning my mum and me about my life choices made a skeptical face. "That's a little unrealistic these days, isn't it?"

Was it unrealistic, overly idealistic? Would I die waiting for someone who didn't exist, the laughing stock of onlookers, a good example of kooky Christians out of touch with the real world?

I had consistently desired and believed from the time I was young that I was called to family life, to be a mother and a wife. As I grew older, I sometimes wondered, why would God have put these strong desires in my heart (not everyone had them) if they were not meant to be fulfilled? I began to be embarrassed to share that dream with others as I crossed 30.

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On the Feast of the Epiphany yesterday, I suddenly thought about how ridiculous the three wise men must have seemed as they started their journey, following a... star??!! There must have been more socially acceptable ways to spend their time, or search for truth and meaning. Who gets on camels and follows a star? Maybe people didn't outwardly deride them, because they were obviously important, well-to-do men known for their wisdom. But in all times and places and cultures, there are social norms for what are and are not acceptable life goals.

It must have taken a very long time, probably years of preparation and study, and months of the actual journey. But, oh the joy, when they found the One they had been searching for!

And behold, the star that they had seen at its rising preceded them, 
until it came and stopped over the place where the child was. 
They were overjoyed at seeing the star, 
and on entering the house they saw the child with Mary his mother. 
They prostrated themselves and did him homage. (Matt 2: 9-11)

This is not a blog post about believing in yourself and following your dreams. Not all dreams are worth pursuing. (Unpopular opinion, I know.)

But when we quiet ourselves, and search within, we often find the God-given dreams and hopes, the purest desires of our hearts. Many have not yet been fulfilled.

Maybe it's a dream of a strong Christian community where your faith is nourished and strengthened.

Maybe it's a desire for a specific kind of mission - a community centre where all are welcomed and loved and offered Christ, an outreach to sex workers, a prolife ministry.

Maybe it's a dream for mental, emotional or physical healing, where you are not constantly struggling and overwhelmed and drowning.

Maybe it's a dream for reconciliation and healing in your family.

Maybe it's a dream for a solid Christian spouse and a family.

Maybe it's a simple dream to live a happy and holy life wherever you are.

Maybe it's a dream to be free of a certain sin that you struggle with - pornography, indiscipline, anger.

Maybe these dreams seem unrealistic and far away and unlikely to ever reach completion.

Do not stifle these dreams! Hold on to them! Pursue them! Wait for them! Pray for them! Write them down! Find people who will encourage you in your dreams. (No cynics or pessimists allowed.) Do not allow despair or frustration rob your heart of hope.

Pope John Paul II said, "“It is Jesus that you seek when you dream of happiness; He is waiting for you when nothing else you find satisfies you; He is the beauty to which you are so attracted; it is He who provoked you with that thirst for fullness that will not let you settle for compromise; it is He who urges you to shed the masks of a false life; it is He who reads in your heart your most genuine choices, the choices that others try to stifle. It is Jesus who stirs in you the desire to do something great with your lives, the will to follow an ideal, the refusal to allow yourselves to be ground down by mediocrity, the courage to commit yourselves humbly and patiently to improving yourselves and society, making the world more human and more fraternal.”

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You know my story. I left my job, worked for a happy year in a school in a village. I joined a Catholic mission organization, and learned to be holy and less selfish over the next nine years. A year ago, I met and was courted by a strong man of faith, and we are now married and have started our family life together. Some dreams take time, but they are worth waiting for.

I have more dreams. I am tempted to get impatient and doubtful when I don't see them immediately take form. But remembering the slow ways God led me forward in the past gives me hope.

I pray this post gives you hope too.

Related Resources

How To Begin Dreaming (Abiding Together podcast: 33 minutes audio)