You know it's happening. I'm pretty sure every day of December that you looked at Facebook, you were hit by an explosion of gorgeous wedding pictures of classmates, cousins, friends of friends, YOUNGER SIBLINGS of friends, and everybody in between. There are two possible reasons for this occurence:
1. It's a Leap Year this year, and they tell me that's 'unlucky'. So everyone wanted to get married in 2015.
2. I am almost 30. In my world, that's it. That is the last possible age. 24 is too early, 31 is too late. So if you didn't manage to find a spouse yourself, your parents have probably been looking and hounding you until the magic age of 30 forced you to say yes.
Now there are a variety of ways single people deal with this:
1. You could declare that SINGLE PEOPLE ARE HAPPIER AND MORE INDEPENDENT AND SMARTER AND NOT AT ALL ENVIOUS.
2. You could just vicariously enjoy everybody else's photos and cute wedding videos, even if you weren't invited for the actual wedding. Likefest! 'Sue sees people wedding pics and doesn't feel bad or get mad because she wasn't invited. Sue realizes weddings are expensive and we're not that close anyway. Sue is reasonable. Be like Sue.'
3. You could start questioning your own life and self-worth and get sucked into a vortex of EVERYBODY ELSE HAS THEIR LIVES FIGURED OUT EXCEPT ME WHY DOES MY LIFE SUCK SO MUCH?!!?
4. You could be superior and look down on all those marriage-obsessed sheeple who are trying to find meaning in their lives by getting married and creating smaller versions of themselves probably because they haven't yet figured out there's more to life than marriage, babies and the domestic life.
5. You could fight the feeling of desperation rising up within, and think about settling for that guy who is still hung up on you because he's your best option. Or call your parents and finally agree to meet some possible guys that they have been trying to get you to meet for the past 5 years.
6. You could jump into something else which seems to give your life meaning and validity or at least probably makes you seem less like losers to all the people whom you assume think of you as losers. Take a trip abroad, go on a holiday somewhere, go to a nice restaurant.. anything!
I can't recommend most of these options. Here are my tips for dealing with Facebook Wedding Season.
1. Just BE HAPPY for these people. Just because I'm not married yet, doesn't mean I don't want people to find love, get married, and start families. The human race doesn't have to end because I'm single! Think about all those sweet babies they're going to bring into the world. When someone has a good, stable, happy marriage, that benefits us all! A happier, more stable world! Thank God we were not the generation who couldn't get married.
2. Pray that their marriages last and are truly happy! We know that it's becoming harder, and we pray pray pray that India doesn't go the way of the West where most children have been affected by divorce or unhealthy marriages.
3. Don't forget that you never know the whole story. Behind a seemingly happy Facebook wedding photo could be a number of different factors, including parental pressure, financial struggles, health issues, arranged-but-not-yet-love, years of heartbreak, loneliness or previous broken relationships, family problems, struggles with sin. Don't envy other people's lives because you never know the hidden struggles.
4. Close your Facebook and go do something else. It's kinda unhealthy to be constantly gazing at other people's lives. Not just their lives, but their PORTRAYAL of their lives. Finally you need to live your own life. Spend time with friends. Colour a picture. Visit a neighbour. Find ways to love. Learn a new skill. Talk to your parents. Pursue a dream.
5. Remember that before or after marriage YOU are still YOU. If you struggled with discipline before you got married, you'll struggle with discipline after you get married. If you think you're not good enough before marriage, you'll think you're not good enough after marriage. If you act like a jerk to people before marriage, you'll act like a jerk to people after marriage. Marriage doesn't stop you from having to deal with YOU 24/7. Marriage means someone else will have to live with your issues too. So maybe work on that.
6. Re-examine your life priorities and goals but not under the influence of what everyone else is doing, or of what anyone else expects you to do. Here's another tip: the only life goal really worth pursuing is one that will outlast your life- LOVE.
1. It's a Leap Year this year, and they tell me that's 'unlucky'. So everyone wanted to get married in 2015.
2. I am almost 30. In my world, that's it. That is the last possible age. 24 is too early, 31 is too late. So if you didn't manage to find a spouse yourself, your parents have probably been looking and hounding you until the magic age of 30 forced you to say yes.
Now there are a variety of ways single people deal with this:
1. You could declare that SINGLE PEOPLE ARE HAPPIER AND MORE INDEPENDENT AND SMARTER AND NOT AT ALL ENVIOUS.
2. You could just vicariously enjoy everybody else's photos and cute wedding videos, even if you weren't invited for the actual wedding. Likefest! 'Sue sees people wedding pics and doesn't feel bad or get mad because she wasn't invited. Sue realizes weddings are expensive and we're not that close anyway. Sue is reasonable. Be like Sue.'
3. You could start questioning your own life and self-worth and get sucked into a vortex of EVERYBODY ELSE HAS THEIR LIVES FIGURED OUT EXCEPT ME WHY DOES MY LIFE SUCK SO MUCH?!!?
4. You could be superior and look down on all those marriage-obsessed sheeple who are trying to find meaning in their lives by getting married and creating smaller versions of themselves probably because they haven't yet figured out there's more to life than marriage, babies and the domestic life.
5. You could fight the feeling of desperation rising up within, and think about settling for that guy who is still hung up on you because he's your best option. Or call your parents and finally agree to meet some possible guys that they have been trying to get you to meet for the past 5 years.
6. You could jump into something else which seems to give your life meaning and validity or at least probably makes you seem less like losers to all the people whom you assume think of you as losers. Take a trip abroad, go on a holiday somewhere, go to a nice restaurant.. anything!
I can't recommend most of these options. Here are my tips for dealing with Facebook Wedding Season.
1. Just BE HAPPY for these people. Just because I'm not married yet, doesn't mean I don't want people to find love, get married, and start families. The human race doesn't have to end because I'm single! Think about all those sweet babies they're going to bring into the world. When someone has a good, stable, happy marriage, that benefits us all! A happier, more stable world! Thank God we were not the generation who couldn't get married.
2. Pray that their marriages last and are truly happy! We know that it's becoming harder, and we pray pray pray that India doesn't go the way of the West where most children have been affected by divorce or unhealthy marriages.
3. Don't forget that you never know the whole story. Behind a seemingly happy Facebook wedding photo could be a number of different factors, including parental pressure, financial struggles, health issues, arranged-but-not-yet-love, years of heartbreak, loneliness or previous broken relationships, family problems, struggles with sin. Don't envy other people's lives because you never know the hidden struggles.
4. Close your Facebook and go do something else. It's kinda unhealthy to be constantly gazing at other people's lives. Not just their lives, but their PORTRAYAL of their lives. Finally you need to live your own life. Spend time with friends. Colour a picture. Visit a neighbour. Find ways to love. Learn a new skill. Talk to your parents. Pursue a dream.
5. Remember that before or after marriage YOU are still YOU. If you struggled with discipline before you got married, you'll struggle with discipline after you get married. If you think you're not good enough before marriage, you'll think you're not good enough after marriage. If you act like a jerk to people before marriage, you'll act like a jerk to people after marriage. Marriage doesn't stop you from having to deal with YOU 24/7. Marriage means someone else will have to live with your issues too. So maybe work on that.
6. Re-examine your life priorities and goals but not under the influence of what everyone else is doing, or of what anyone else expects you to do. Here's another tip: the only life goal really worth pursuing is one that will outlast your life- LOVE.
Amazing !! I really like and agree with your POV. - Tejaswini
ReplyDeleteThanks, Tejaswini! I guess we think alike.
DeleteLovely post Suzanna. It's funny and yet so practical. Good on you girl :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for taking the time to leave a comment, Wayne!
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