Alternate Post Title: Things That Make Me Roll My Eyes and Say 'Oh My Good Grief' Multiple Times
#1 Overly Dramatic Fear-Mongering End Times or Just Plain Ridiculous Text/Whatsapp Forwards
I just. don't. understand. why people can't take a second to google whether or not Obama is really implanting computer chips in people's brains or whether Whatsapp is really going to start charging you if you don't forward this message. I assume that to most people, ridiculous claims SEEM ridiculous. But if you're not quite sure, check! DO NOT forward to everyone on every group you belong to.
I always wonder who starts off these things. I guess I could see my evil Alter-Ego giggling maniacally to myself, "I wonder how many poor suckers will believe this one: 'Attention all Christians! Whatsapp has been infiltrated by the Satanists and the only way to combat them is to forward this prayer to every contact on your list. <Insert prayer> PLEASE DO NOT DELETE. PLEASE SHARE WITH EVERYONE. Everyone forwards a funny message, but how many will have the courage to forwards this message? AMEN.'"
If someone is trying to pressure you to forward a message, that is a great reason to doubt it's veracity.
# 2 Lame We-are-the-Church-Social-Justice Hymns at Mass
Hey, I'm all about social justice, serving the poor, the Hole in the Gospel, Mother Teresa and all that jazz. But why must we SING about it? Sacred music is supposed to lift us to God in some way, put us in touch with the Divine, not be an anthem for some kind of social justice rally or a self-back-patting of what a loving warm accepting community we are. 'We are happy Christians all united in the Lord, we belong to one family.' 'As We Gather' starts out okay, but the the third verse goes 'We are folk who show concern for one another/Yes we know that God has given gifts to share/Whether rich or whether poor, down and out or blessed with more/ We are gathered here to tell you how much we care.' OH MY GOOD GRIEF!!!
Or 'Here we are, altogether as we sing our song joyfully/Here we are, altogether as we pray we always be/ Join we now as friends, and celebrate the/Brotherhood we share, all as one/ Keep the fire burning, kindle it with care, And we'll all join in and sing.'
I mean, seriously, COME ON!
#3 Marriage Jokes
Oh wait I already wrote about that. But really, please, married couples, tell us the GOOD things about your spouse.
#4 Little Kids Who are Applauded for Acting/Looking/Dancing Sexy
I hate this! What happened to innocence? Innocence is a GOOD thing, and we need to work to protect it. But kids will do whatever gets them their parents' attention. Not to mention, it's usually the parents dressing them up sexily, calling them sexy, and encouraging them to do some seductive Bollywood dance moves. I once attended a church event where a bunch of kids were dancing to a Bollywood 'item number'. I had to avert my eyes because it was just WRONG to see those sweet innocent souls moving in a way that was provocative and inviting. What was more upsetting was that NOBODY else seemed to think it was a problem in any way.
I also hate the seductive poses they're encouraged to strike for photos. Uggh.
#5 Lame Excuses/Assumptions/Prejudices about the Underprivileged
Like they're ALL trying to cheat you. Or are dishonest in some way. Or that we should NEVER help a beggar, no matter what. Or that pretty much anyone who asks for help should be treated with suspicion. Or that one bad experience excuses you from ever helping anyone ever again.
#6 Indians who assume all Indians should leave for the 'greener' pastures of the West
I get that in many ways life is easier, more efficient, less polluted in developed countries. You trust the police and the legal system, and the streets being clean and without potholes is not a luxury, but an expected part of normal life. You get jobs that pay far more, and your kids are likely to get a better education and even better paying jobs. Still. Why should we all just leave India without a backward glance, trying to make a better life for ourselves and forgetting about all that we could do for the millions who don't have the option of leaving? And don't forget that it's not all greener- you're leaving behind your family support system, your roots, sometimes a clearer moral compass for your children, sometimes a simpler (and cheaper) way of life.
#7 Speeches and Formalities at Functions
We must do these things because these things are done. There MUST be thank you speeches which always include the words 'All good things must come to an end' and 'Last, but not least'. We must waste everyone's time saying all the things that everyone says every time. We must also give the chief guest flowers and multiple shawls. What do they do with all those shawls? How do they keep those fixed smiles on their faces? The few times I have been in a position of being applauded and honoured made me want to sink into comfortable anonymity not because I'm shy or humble (quite the contrary), but because the FORMALITY made me want to scream!
Okay, I'm done. What are your pet peeves?
More quick takes at This Ain't the Lyceum.
#1 Overly Dramatic Fear-Mongering End Times or Just Plain Ridiculous Text/Whatsapp Forwards
I just. don't. understand. why people can't take a second to google whether or not Obama is really implanting computer chips in people's brains or whether Whatsapp is really going to start charging you if you don't forward this message. I assume that to most people, ridiculous claims SEEM ridiculous. But if you're not quite sure, check! DO NOT forward to everyone on every group you belong to.
I always wonder who starts off these things. I guess I could see my evil Alter-Ego giggling maniacally to myself, "I wonder how many poor suckers will believe this one: 'Attention all Christians! Whatsapp has been infiltrated by the Satanists and the only way to combat them is to forward this prayer to every contact on your list. <Insert prayer> PLEASE DO NOT DELETE. PLEASE SHARE WITH EVERYONE. Everyone forwards a funny message, but how many will have the courage to forwards this message? AMEN.'"
If someone is trying to pressure you to forward a message, that is a great reason to doubt it's veracity.
# 2 Lame We-are-the-Church-Social-Justice Hymns at Mass
Hey, I'm all about social justice, serving the poor, the Hole in the Gospel, Mother Teresa and all that jazz. But why must we SING about it? Sacred music is supposed to lift us to God in some way, put us in touch with the Divine, not be an anthem for some kind of social justice rally or a self-back-patting of what a loving warm accepting community we are. 'We are happy Christians all united in the Lord, we belong to one family.' 'As We Gather' starts out okay, but the the third verse goes 'We are folk who show concern for one another/Yes we know that God has given gifts to share/Whether rich or whether poor, down and out or blessed with more/ We are gathered here to tell you how much we care.' OH MY GOOD GRIEF!!!
Or 'Here we are, altogether as we sing our song joyfully/Here we are, altogether as we pray we always be/ Join we now as friends, and celebrate the/Brotherhood we share, all as one/ Keep the fire burning, kindle it with care, And we'll all join in and sing.'
I mean, seriously, COME ON!
#3 Marriage Jokes
Oh wait I already wrote about that. But really, please, married couples, tell us the GOOD things about your spouse.
#4 Little Kids Who are Applauded for Acting/Looking/Dancing Sexy
I hate this! What happened to innocence? Innocence is a GOOD thing, and we need to work to protect it. But kids will do whatever gets them their parents' attention. Not to mention, it's usually the parents dressing them up sexily, calling them sexy, and encouraging them to do some seductive Bollywood dance moves. I once attended a church event where a bunch of kids were dancing to a Bollywood 'item number'. I had to avert my eyes because it was just WRONG to see those sweet innocent souls moving in a way that was provocative and inviting. What was more upsetting was that NOBODY else seemed to think it was a problem in any way.
I also hate the seductive poses they're encouraged to strike for photos. Uggh.
#5 Lame Excuses/Assumptions/Prejudices about the Underprivileged
Like they're ALL trying to cheat you. Or are dishonest in some way. Or that we should NEVER help a beggar, no matter what. Or that pretty much anyone who asks for help should be treated with suspicion. Or that one bad experience excuses you from ever helping anyone ever again.
#6 Indians who assume all Indians should leave for the 'greener' pastures of the West
I get that in many ways life is easier, more efficient, less polluted in developed countries. You trust the police and the legal system, and the streets being clean and without potholes is not a luxury, but an expected part of normal life. You get jobs that pay far more, and your kids are likely to get a better education and even better paying jobs. Still. Why should we all just leave India without a backward glance, trying to make a better life for ourselves and forgetting about all that we could do for the millions who don't have the option of leaving? And don't forget that it's not all greener- you're leaving behind your family support system, your roots, sometimes a clearer moral compass for your children, sometimes a simpler (and cheaper) way of life.
#7 Speeches and Formalities at Functions
We must do these things because these things are done. There MUST be thank you speeches which always include the words 'All good things must come to an end' and 'Last, but not least'. We must waste everyone's time saying all the things that everyone says every time. We must also give the chief guest flowers and multiple shawls. What do they do with all those shawls? How do they keep those fixed smiles on their faces? The few times I have been in a position of being applauded and honoured made me want to sink into comfortable anonymity not because I'm shy or humble (quite the contrary), but because the FORMALITY made me want to scream!
Okay, I'm done. What are your pet peeves?
More quick takes at This Ain't the Lyceum.
Wet socks. That's my pet peeve. Oh, and calling people "hot." Food is hot. The weather is hot. People are not hot. People are attractive.
ReplyDeleteRegarding #2, OH YES. I live like an Augustinian. St. Augustine is the one who said that line about singing being praying twice. I read that as a point of caution: if you sing ridiculous, horizontal, not directed to or even *about* God songs, you are praying twice BADLY. Not good.
Exactly. You're not praying at all.
DeleteComing from the woman who likes her less-polluted city streets - driving in the summer with my car windows down and being forced to inhale some eejit driver's second hand smoke who is in front of/beside me.... YUCK. Keep it INSIDE your own car with the windows up, PLEASE! YOu choose to slowly kill yourself, dont' take me with you! I am trying to smell the fresh/clean air!
ReplyDeleteLoved the Whatsapp meaningless text part and the shawls!! I too wonder even the flowers which are rather expensive should be totally done away as they are actually a waste though they look beautiful...
ReplyDelete