Wednesday, 5 February 2014

Life Begins when You Meet the Man of Your Dreams

Just kidding! Of course it doesn't! (Sorry, this is not a relationship or engagement announcement.)

REAL life begins when you die.

Not really kidding, but that's not what I'm writing about today. What AM I writing about today? I have a lot of thoughts jostling about in my head, and some pressure to write SOMETHING because Monday is my day off, and the only real free time and space to write recently*.

So I was just thinking about how my early life plans were to marry early and have a bunch of kids (just to be counter-cultural, plus it sounded romantic). If I had to think about my life at almost 28 when I was 14, I would have been horrified to think that I was still single with no prospects of marriage in sight. Pretty much all my dreams of a future involved a Special Someone. Wanna hear something embarrassing? Of COURSE you do! That's why you read this blog. I used to refer to 'HIM' as 'The One'. Good grief.

But now... here I am. Now I KNOW what it feels like to be almost 28. And guess what?

It's AWESOME! I love it. Sorry about the caps. But life is great! I still think marriage is a wonderful thing, and babies are the icing on the cake, so no, I'm not into the whole 'A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle' feminist ideology.

But I've discovered that a fulfilled life is made up of more than marriage and romance. Here's a glimpse into this single girl's fulfilled life (because bullet points are awesome):
  • Finding a Love that satisfies: You KNEW I was gonna talk about God, didn't you? Well, what love could be sweeter, tenderer, gentler, or more passionate than Love Himself? Okay, this is a hard one to explain because it needs to be tasted to be believed. I do recommend the book 'He and I' if you're Christian but haven't tasted the sweet intimacy of a God who is a Lover.
Sue's Life-Changing Tip for Dissatisfied Singles #1: Meet Jesus. He's everything and more your heart is hungry for. And read Jennifer Fulwiler's 'Something Other than God'.
  • Companionship: I remember reading an article that said one of the struggles of single life was doing everything alone- shopping alone, cooking for yourself, coming home to an empty house. Why does that have to be the fate of the unmarried? I live with three other girls, and work with them as well as two guys. We do everything together, (except when I go hide in my Introvert Bubble every now and again) and I've never struggled with loneliness. There is a simple joy in cooking for your community, in staying up late talking, in daily prayer together, in shared jokes and even shared struggles. 
Sue's Life-Changing Tip for Dissatisfied Singles #2: Get a room mate! Or a bunch of 'em. Or find some form of Christian community, people you can share your life with. And then cook them chole bhature.
  • Little dreams come true: You thought the only dreams that mattered were marriage and babies? Not true. You know how I was dreaming about owning a bookshelf? Well, first someone gave me a secondhand showcase/bookcase which was nice, and somewhere to put our books instead of the suitcase they had been lying in for a couple of months. And then... my sister J emailed me to tell me she was giving me and my housemates a gift voucher that she had won for an online furniture company, and guess what's arriving on Valentine's day to warm the cockles of this bibiliophile's heart? 
This baby:

Sue's Life-Changing Tip for Dissatisfied Singles #3: Try to remember a dream/non-essential hope/wish for your life... and make it happen... or pray for it... or make someone else's dream come true... just as satisfying.
  • Hanging out with kids: One thing funner than going to a church fete is going to a church fete with a 5 year old and a 4 year old. I'm usually the one that embarrasses my family in public places, but this time I was about to hide behind the creepy giant Mickey Mouse as my 5 yo niece hugged him, pushing her face into his fat, fake belly, danced unrhythmically with him (her?), stared and shrieked and pointed at the man on stilts like he was the coolest-creepiest thing she had ever seen. I used to long for babies... and then my sister had two, and I love them to bits. They teach me to be gentle, and tender, and crazy, and and to have impromptu dance parties, and put on fake accents that have them in splits, and to do hugs and kisses even though being physically affectionate with others is still unusual for me.

Sue's Life-Changing Tip for Dissatisfied Singles #4: Find a child, any child, and make friends!
  • Self-forgetful Radiance: Stop obsessing over YOUR plans and hopes and dreams and feelings and thoughts and needs and desires and crushes and hurt feelings and LOOK OUTWARDS. Yeah, I'm a fine one to talk about that on my introspective blog. But seriously, if I spent all my time introspecting on a blog, I'm pretty sure I would have discovered a foolproof recipe for a dissatisfied life. There is beauty and joy in the world, and there are people who are hungry for love in this world... and here's God's trick... He made us happiest when we are least concerned with our own happiness. Take that from one of the most naturally selfish people out there, who has been learning this lesson reluctantly over the past couple of decades.
Sue's Life-Changing Tip for Dissatisfied Singles #5: Bake somebody cookies. Or just ask someone how they're doing, and here's the catch... really listen to the answer.

Okay, way past bedtime. Go be happy, peeps.

Want to add some tips? 

*Yes, I started writing this on Monday, my day off... and then I got distracted by many other Important Things.


  1. Some days I really love you! :) Can I move in?

  2. Great thoughts Suzy.

  3. WoWie! That's helpful! In fact i deploy a few of them - like for example pt1 is what keeps me going. Cant live without His love for me and believe me its not comparable to anything on this earth (i'm sure you believe me on this). I wouldn't have gotten so far and wouldn't have stumbled on you (your blog). I'm not sure whether anyone on earth would be able to satisfy me the way Jesus does. Yes, i'm skeptical put i dont see a choice either. Not that i haven't tried to find my true love, i tried a couple of times and i was disappointed. very disappointed in fact! So have now chose to look ahead for a single life and nothing does satisfy me for Jesus. Yes it is boring to do things alone, come home alone, eat alone, sleep alone, roam alone, smoke alone (i smoke!), watch movies alone, alone alone alone... but now i spend more time talking to Jesus while doing all that i listed, i talk to Him like every minute. I'm thinking and talking to Him as i write this revert. Its beautiful! Phone rang brb!

  4. Back! It was not Jesus :( His love remains with me :)
    With regards to other point like roommates... a bit tough for me to disturbed during my most solitary modes. During my work schedules, i'm a perfect extrovert but in evening (include weekends), i would like to be left alone unless there's a emergency. On Saturdays and Sundays i do put my head out and attend cell meets or community meets... but that's it! No roommates for me! But i think i will get into a PG... Thinking... A point to ponder today evening... No roommates doesn't mean that i love my cave, i do venture out at times and cook food for friends and because they love my cooking style.

  5. I'm thinking of your blog and i added one for my Life-Changing Tip for Dissatisfied Singles - Attend all marriages! I just received a wedding invite from one of my juniors who worked for me 4years back... I'm happy for her... finally she got what she wanted... and i'll now have to plan a double trip to Goa! I'm already going on 15/16th April and this wedding is on 22nd April! Close calls! Lots to drive! But i'm happy and nothing like it! I dont have many friends in Goa - she was the only friend i would call upon when on my solo trips to Goa. Three weekends travelling back to back now! Hectic! But Driving alone which P&W music is good and refreshing... Add Life-Changing Tip for Dissatisfied Singles - Travel and explore new territories! Attend mass at all locations! Pray at all locations!