7 Christmas Quick Takes (2015 version)

Last year I did a 7 Quick Takes on Christmas. So because I'm so creative and original, I decided to go with the exact same idea. I'm a creature of habit. Usually bad habits.

---1---

So people keep asking me how my Christmas went. I try to think of something fascinating that happened, and of course, it is, "I decided to be an adult, and made the roast chicken for the first time in my life." My findings:

• If I had to pick one thing that I had to eat every day for the rest of my life, I THINK stuffing made with bacon, sausage, breadcrumbs, onion, raisins and apple might be it.
• Stitching together a dead bird might be the grossest thing anyone could do on a Christmas morning.
• Recipe books are great with the theory, but when you say it'll take an hour to roast, maybe you should mention that in REALITY it might take 2 hours plus some for the bird to actually be cooked through
• Cutting a whole roast chicken into edible portions is a messy and unsatisfying business for amateurs like myself.

However the delicious meal we eventually ate made everything worth it. (Also helping us practice our 'waiting in joyful hope')

---2---

An Indian Catholic's Christmas differs from an American Catholic's in one major way- we always have our Christmas sweets. Not just Christmas cookies, but a whole set of delicacies like marzipan (sugar and cashewnut), kulkuls (fried and frosted bits of dough), fudge, milk toffee, cheese straws, fruitcake, etc. I assume most of these are Goan Catholic traditions, mostly from the Portuguese? Or a little from here, a little from there? Anyway, it would be a strange, strange Christmas without these Christmas sweets.

---3---

Even though an Indian Christmas has nothing to do with snowmen, pine trees, candy canes, etc, and none of those things have anything much to do with the biblical Nativity of Jesus (unlike the Christmas star and angels), all those things seem to be a normal part of our Christmases here. Kids in school do Christmas arts and crafts which reflect a Christmas from a different part of the world, we cheerily sing 'Let It Snow' and 'I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas', which almost none of us have ever seen.

And of course Santa Claus appears as the main face of Christmas. Sad but true: Humans of Bombay recorded a little street child selling Christmas decorations, saying, "Every year I ask Santa for only one thing - a way to get myself properly educated. This year I also realised that I want to be a scientist so I'm praying even harder that he makes my wish come true. They say Santa doesn't exist, but I have faith that one day I'll be able to stop working, study and become the best scientist in the world!"

Pray to Jesus, not Santa! (I know for atheists it doesn't make a difference, but as a Catholic, praying to a fictional character from the North Pole isn't exactly the same as praying to the historical person of Jesus who still heals and reveals Himself today. Unless he's really asking for the intercession of Saint Nicholas?)

Anyway, in spite of the randomness of some of our Christmas traditions, I sure enjoy having a Christmas tree and heaps of gifts under it.

Even if it's a fake tree.

---4---

Over the last week or so I have been listening to this song 'Wonder' on repeat. The words are very simple-

May we never lose our wonder / Wide eyed and mystified / May we be just like a child / Staring at the beauty of our King/ You are beautiful in all your ways

A couple of weeks ago in the US, I spent one of the most beautiful hours of my life, sitting in Adoration with a chapel full of people loving Jesus. We sang this song, over and over, and my heart was filled with wonder. And now at Christmas, it makes even more sense.

I think of how Mary must have gazed in wonder at this little creature, suckling at her breast.. The God of the Universe become tiny and weak and helpless, her Creator, and yet her little one. How her heart must have swelled with love, with awe, with tenderness. I catch little tastes of that wonder when I gaze at Jesus in the Eucharist- once again become so small, to be with me. The secret of everything- greatness hidden in littleness.

Bishop Robert Barron says, "How common this is in the Bible: the reversal of expectations, the little giving rise to the great, wonderful things coming where you least expect them. The stuttering Moses speaks up to mighty Pharaoh, the slaves face down the Egyptian army, tiny David kills the giant Goliath..."

In the quiet of my prayer time, in the heart-lifting moment of the Psalm being sung at Christmas Mass, in the the brief moment of receiving Jesus in the Eucharist and walking back to my pew, in the few minutes of prayer as my family gathered around my blind and bedridden great aunt, these were the God-moments of Christmas.

---5---

Some Christmas articles and blog posts-

Have Yourself a Broken Little Christmas

We celebrate a Savior who entered a wounded world. And every year we celebrate his birth, we see evidence that our world is still so broken, still so in need of the saving power of Jesus. Our Savior did not come as a king, although he could have saved us in any way he pleased. Rather, he came as a tiny, vulnerable child. He entered our broken, violent, hate-filled world as a tiny, trusting, child, to be with us. 

Oh, That Final Verse!

If you’re not getting everything you need in this world, if you don’t feel satisfied, if you feel adrift and alone and incomplete, that’s because we haven’t gotten to the end of the song yet. You haven't yet gotten to the final verse, which rescues all the others from fantasy. 

Christmas Isn't Candy Canes—It's D-Day in the War Against Satan

Jesus the King of the Universe entered the territory of the “prince of this world” and began to take back territory from him.  

---6---

 (More at catholicmemes.com)

---7---

And old Christmas stuff from me:


Are You Going to a Christmas Dance? 

7 Christmas Quick Takes 

Christmas Highlights

7QT: Pet Peeves

Alternate Post Title: Things That Make Me Roll My Eyes and Say 'Oh My Good Grief' Multiple Times
 

#1 Overly Dramatic Fear-Mongering End Times or Just Plain Ridiculous Text/Whatsapp Forwards

I just. don't. understand. why people can't take a second to google whether or not Obama is really implanting computer chips in people's brains or whether Whatsapp is really going to start charging you if you don't forward this message. I assume that to most people, ridiculous claims SEEM ridiculous. But if you're not quite sure, check! DO NOT forward to everyone on every group you belong to.

I always wonder who starts off these things. I guess I could see my evil Alter-Ego giggling maniacally to myself, "I wonder how many poor suckers will believe this one: 'Attention all Christians! Whatsapp has been infiltrated by the Satanists and the only way to combat them is to forward this prayer to every contact on your list. <Insert prayer> PLEASE DO NOT DELETE. PLEASE SHARE WITH EVERYONE. Everyone forwards a funny message, but how many will have the courage to forwards this message? AMEN.'"

If someone is trying to pressure you to forward a message, that is a great reason to doubt it's veracity.

# 2 Lame We-are-the-Church-Social-Justice Hymns at Mass

Hey, I'm all about social justice, serving the poor, the Hole in the Gospel, Mother Teresa and all that jazz. But why must we SING about it? Sacred music is supposed to lift us to God in some way, put us in touch with the Divine, not be an anthem for some kind of social justice rally or a self-back-patting of what a loving warm accepting community we are. 'We are happy Christians all united in the Lord, we belong to one family.' 'As We Gather' starts out okay, but the the third verse goes 'We are folk who show concern for one another/Yes we know that God has given gifts to share/Whether rich or whether poor, down and out or blessed with more/ We are gathered here to tell you how much we care.' OH MY GOOD GRIEF!!!

Or 'Here we are, altogether as we sing our song joyfully/Here we are, altogether as we pray we always be/ Join we now as friends, and celebrate the/Brotherhood we share, all as one/ Keep the fire burning, kindle it with care, And we'll all join in and sing.'

I mean, seriously, COME ON!

#3 Marriage Jokes

Oh wait I already wrote about that. But really, please, married couples, tell us the GOOD things about your spouse.

#4 Little Kids Who are Applauded for Acting/Looking/Dancing Sexy

I hate this! What happened to innocence? Innocence is a GOOD thing, and we need to work to protect it. But kids will do whatever gets them their parents' attention. Not to mention, it's usually the parents dressing them up sexily, calling them sexy, and encouraging them to do some seductive Bollywood dance moves. I once attended a church event where a bunch of kids were dancing to a Bollywood 'item number'. I had to avert my eyes because it was just WRONG to see those sweet innocent souls moving in a way that was provocative and inviting. What was more upsetting was that NOBODY else seemed to think it was a problem in any way.

I also hate the seductive poses they're encouraged to strike for photos. Uggh.


#5 Lame Excuses/Assumptions/Prejudices about the Underprivileged

Like they're ALL trying to cheat you. Or are dishonest in some way. Or that we should NEVER help a beggar, no matter what. Or that pretty much anyone who asks for help should be treated with suspicion. Or that one bad experience excuses you from ever helping anyone ever again.


#6 Indians who assume all Indians should leave for the 'greener' pastures of the West

I get that in many ways life is easier, more efficient, less polluted in developed countries. You trust the police and the legal system, and the streets being clean and without potholes is not a luxury, but an expected part of normal life. You get jobs that pay far more, and your kids are likely to get a better education and even better paying jobs. Still. Why should we all just leave India without a backward glance, trying to make a better life for ourselves and forgetting about all that we could do for the millions who don't have the option of leaving? And don't forget that it's not all greener- you're leaving behind your family support system, your roots, sometimes a clearer moral compass for your children, sometimes a simpler (and cheaper) way of life.

#7 Speeches and Formalities at Functions

We must do these things because these things are done. There MUST be thank you speeches which always include the words 'All good things must come to an end' and 'Last, but not least'. We must waste everyone's time saying all the things that everyone says every time. We must also give the chief guest flowers and multiple shawls. What do they do with all those shawls? How do they keep those fixed smiles on their faces? The few times I have been in a position of being applauded and honoured made me want to sink into comfortable anonymity not because I'm shy or humble (quite the contrary), but because the FORMALITY made me want to scream!

Okay, I'm done. What are your pet peeves?

More quick takes at This Ain't the Lyceum.

9QT: 9 Things Christian Singles Are Secretly Afraid Of*

It's complicated enough being a single in today's world, where in India everyone thinks if you're 29 you should be married already, and in the West, people think you're crazy (and repressed) if you don't have (and have never had) a boyfriend at the ripe old age of 29.

There are thousands of blog posts and articles trying to figure out the logistics of this whole romantic relationships in the 21st century thing. But if you throw in being Christian AND being single, where our beliefs about God intersect with our desire for a love life, it gets really complicated in our heads. I wrote about some of my thoughts before. And here we have some of our (not-secret-any-longer) fears:

1. That if we are too 'content to be single', God might take us at our word, and decide to leave us that way. Someone actually said that to me once when I said "I'm pretty happy being single.""Noooo!"she shouted, "Don't say that! God will never send you anyone!" We KNOW that's not how God works, but it's a little superstitious fear. Or maybe we think if there are not enough eligible guys going around, then God will choose the girls who are more needy. And since I'm independent and strong, I CAN survive, so I don't get picked.

2. Conversely, that if we are too desperate, God will decide to keep us single for as long as it takes to realize that we will never find the Perfect Love we crave in any human. That 'it's only when we stop caring too much about finding the right guy, suddenly he'll appear in our life.' See me not caring! (Because I really care!) Aarrgh! Catch 22 situation!

3. That although God loves us and wants us to be happy, He's not REALLY in control. Since He doesn't interfere with free will, He doesn't really have control over whether or not there are enough good men to match every good woman looking for a spouse. (Just like it wasn't His WILL that there should be suffering in this world, or evil for that matter... but it still exists.)

4. That we haven't figured out how much of active involvement He really wants us to have with finding the right spouse. Like a quote I recently read- 'Trust God, but tie up your camel.' Are we supposed to get on to catholicmatch.com? Get out there (wherever 'out there' is)? Move somewhere where there are more options? Ask friends to look out for someone for us? Ask our parents to arrange something? Get onto Tinder? Visit your parish's marriage bureau? Or just live your life and stop obsessing?**

5. That Psalm 37: 4, the Singles' Most Favouritest Bible Verse Ever suffers from false advertising- 'Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart' doesn't necessarily mean we're going to get married, but that He will 'purify the desires of our hearts' so that the only desire we have is to do God's will and even suffer for His sake.

6. That the older we get, the more likely we will 'settle', taking the next guy who asks who somewhat fits our 'list' even if he doesn't make our knees weak, and give us butterflies in our stomach, and that we're more likely to be 'realistic', and think "Well, love isn't just about feelings." And perhaps say yes more out of a fear that no one better will come along, than out of a love and desire for THAT particular human being.

7. That's we're being pathetic and whiny when we're sad about not being married, because in the grand scheme of things, how big is our suffering compared to people who lose the use of their limbs, or people who live with constant physical pain, or people who find the love of their life, and then lose them to cancer, or worse, the love of their life hurt them in the worst possible way.

8. That people with all their many know-it-all opinions are actually right- maybe we are too picky. Maybe we didn't discern well enough. Maybe God was calling us to religious life, but we weren't listening. Maybe we're boring and not marriage material. Maybe it's because we're religious. Maybe we're too... something. We must have done SOMETHING wrong.

9. That God DOESN'T really have a plan, that it's all just a numbers game, and that He promised to be WITH us, not arrange our loves so we get exactly what we want, or that His idea of my future happiness is very different from my idea of my future happiness. I guess basically that we are in some way going to be deprived by Him, that He hasn't got our back.

But you know what? I don't really believe any of these (well, except for no. 5). They are little irrational fears that come.. and go. It's good to be content where you are, without shutting your heart to desires for the future. Sometimes God allows people to go through tough situations, for no discernable reason... not even to teach them a lesson. But I DO believe He can bring great good out of those situations.

I am still slightly confused about 4, but I've gone with the 'live my life and stop obsessing' option. I will NOT settle, because I will not marry out of fear, because I DON'T believe that being old, single and living with cats is the most horrible option in the world. I don't think there's anything wrong with acknowledging that sometimes I'm sad, my occasional sadness doesn't disappear just because other people suffer more. I don't care about people's opinions of why I'm single, because I know me better than they do. (And I know I'm pretty awesome. And humble.)

And finally and most importantly, I choose to believe that God does have a plan for my happiness (whether or not it includes marriage) and that no matter what the circumstances, He is not a God of deprivation. And I know this because, hey, I'm 29- I thought I would be married years ago, and yet, and yet, here I am... single... and HAPPY! Say, what? If he could do it for the past 29 years, why not for the next 60***? 

*How do you like my attention grabbing blog post title? :-D
**Here's a real option - join my matchmaking service (Updated in 2020)
***Yes, I plan to live till I'm 89.  

7QT: Videos You Want To See

---1---

India's Daughter

The first video that I'm not linking because it was banned in India. But if you search you might be able to find it online.  And if you can't, here is a partial transcript. WARNING: GRAPHIC VIOLENT CONTENT

It is a documentary made by BBC about the rape of a girl in Delhi little more than two years ago. It is gruesome and shocking. But what's worse is that this is just ONE case among thousands, many of which go unreported. And even more shocking is a culture in India that blames and shames the victims. Something HAS to change!

Worst quote: " You can’t clap with one hand. It takes two hands to clap. A decent girl won’t roam around at 9 o’clock at night. A girl is far more responsible for rape than a boy." One of the rapists


---2---

Girl on Fire

Jennifer Fulwiler, one of my favourite bloggers speaks at a Catholic conference. She's very down to earth, always real, and always has something to say that I hold on to.


---3---

Talented Siblings Sing Hero



For some reason, I just want to keep listening to this. It also makes me want to harmonize.

---4---

The Much Awaited Flash Mob Video: Starring Me and My Friends! (Yes, grammatically incorrect, I know)

 Regular blog readers will remember a mention of this event in the P.S. of this blog post: Flash Mobs. And it happened! The groom told us he loved boy bands (how come self-professed unjudgmental people think it's okay to judge people for liking boy bands? Personal preference, people!) Neither he nor the bride knew it was going to happen, and they loved it!

---5---

How to Grow in Times of Trial by Fr. Jacques Philippe



I LOVE Fr. Jacques Philippe! The Peace book that he wrote has become my favourite spiritual book, and now I'm reading 'In the School of the Holy Spirit' also by him, which is rocking my world! So Lenten reflections by him... great idea! (I don't know why I was surprised that he is French and speaks French with a name like Jacques Philippe.)

---6---

Iraqi Christian Girl Teaches Isis The Power of Forgiveness


 
I'm usually a little suspicious that these kind of videos are going to try to be emotionally manipulative, but I found this very touching, and very authentic. The little girl didn't seem very different from other little girls that I know.

---7---

Why I'll Never Be Happy


I usually enjoy Blimey Cow, but when I watched this one, I was like "This. Is. Me."

I have every reason to be happy... but my mind always seems to be focussed either on the present seemingly HUGE disaster, or the potential future disaster that is JUST. AROUND. THE. CORNER.

I need to remember... Today is the only day I have to be happy.

More QTs at This Ain't The Lyceum.

7QT: Valentine's Day, Life in India, Links

---1---

Every now and again something happens to remind me what a privileged and protected life I lead in India. I live in a big city, in a housing society, in an apartment in a group of building enclosed in a compound (called housing society). It's not particularly fancy, but it's safe, and kids can run around without being scared of being run over by traffic.

A few days ago I went to a repair shop just outside our society to get our blender fixed. As I waited for the shopkeeper/repairman to fix it, there was a sudden disturbance. A group of men started yelling at each other just outside the shop. There was so much anger and violence in their voices. Within a few minutes, the violent words changed into actions, as people ran and joined the fight, grabbed iron bars while yelling at each other in Marathi (which meant I didn't know what the fight was about). It was so freaky! It's like I could see evil controlling these men. I started praying under my breath, while fear gripped me. I thought I was about to see a murder. People gathered around, but it didn't seem like anyone could stop them, though some tried. Thankfully the main angry guy zoomed off on a bike, and I left, not at all sure that he wasn't going to return with back up.

I was really upset. And then I realized, this was normal life for so many, including the kids I teach in the slum. How much trauma they must have been through.

---2---

Which is one of the reasons I am so blessed to be able to show the kids we teach a glimpse of the world outside the violence-ridden slum in which they live. I do that through talking and sharing with them as I teach them, talking to them about the different countries of the world, introducing them to books, Story Club, picnics, and last week a special Valentine's Day activity at my home.

We only took the 7th and 8th graders (me trying control the potential chaos by NOT inviting the crazy under 12 year olds). We taught them how to bake and decorate cupcakes, wore aprons (to the embarrassment of the two boys who came), make Valentine's Day cards for people they love (NO BOYFRIENDS OR GIRLFRIENDS!!), ate lunch together, packed the cupcakes in cute little boxes with ribbons,  and just had such a good time together. The kids loved it!

---3---

 Speaking of love, I've been reading some cool blog posts about marriage. Yes, I know, I know, for a single woman, I sure read a lot about marriage. I think though that a lot of the things I read apply to any kind of relationships to some extent.

Marriage as Work vs Marriage as the Cross

This one speaks more about the fact that sometimes marriage (and relationships, and life) are just hard! And that means if someone is struggling or has a hard marriage or life, it's not necessarily something that can be fixed, if you just work harder, or better, or get counselling. Sometimes life involves suffering, and you just have to accept those times without feeling like guilty about that too.

---4---

And another beautifully real one:

How Real People Make Shades of Real Love

We married wrong. 

Don’t buy what anybody else is selling: Everyone always marry wrong.

Because what’s wrong in the world is always us. 

Marriage and love and time, these are the enormous forces that inevitably chisel and change us into strangers. The springs sag. Mattresses sigh. Marriage changes us into strangers who have to meet and introduce each other to love all over again. 
None of us ever know whom we marry. And falling in love never made anyone angels… it’s only made it clear how far we’ve fallen. Who we say ‘I do’ to — is not who we roll over to touch twenty years later. The challenge for the vows is to fall in love with the stranger to whom you find yourself married.

...

The real romantics know that stretchmarks are beauty marks, and that different shaped women fit into the different shapes of men souls, and that real romance is really sacrifice.

How crazy it seems that we get our views about love, romance and marriage from stupid shallow chick flicks and trashy romance novels which seem to have no relation whatsoever with reality.

---5---

7 Ways to Improve Your Marriage This Lent 

Very practical, and again some points even relevant to us single people. It's written by Danielle Bean whose blog was one of the first Catholic blogs I started reading about eight years ago, I loved the stories she wrote about her life with her eight children. I even bought a book by her... for moms! And a few weeks before I left for the US, I dreamed that I was going to live next to her, and help her with her kids. Yes, I'm a little strange.

---6---

Well, marriage plus being Catholic often leads to babies, many of them, and then you get links to hilarious pregnancy anecdotes like these ones:

25 Hilarious Pregnancy Brain Moments 

One of the few articles that actually had me laughing out loud:

7. I cried at Smiths when they didn’t have any ripe avocados and actually told the produce worker “I hope you are happy, you pathetic punk…. I hate you….” He then found me in the check out and handed me 2 ripe avocados and said “my wife is pregnant too, it’s ok.”

And the picture at the top of the article makes me want to laugh even harder.

---7---

And to close, shout out to Pope Francis whose words in 'Joy of the Gospel' are not only changing and inspiring me, but people all over the world in cool, crazy, and challenging ways:

Smell Like the Sheep

More Quick Takes at This Ain't the Lyceum.

7 Christmas Quick Takes

---1---

So usually I do quick takes on a Friday, because you know, that's when the link-up is hosted. But tonight I'm ready to write, so Christmas quick takes it is.

---2---

Did you know that many Catholics and other Christians have a big fight going on about Santa Claus? One side says acting like Santa Claus is a real person who leaves gifts for your kids is the same as lying to your kids, plus takes the focus away from Jesus, and the other side says people against Santa are killing the wonder and fun of childhood.

---3---

I see both sides. I remember the disappointment and let down on the day I found out Santa was my mum. Actually, it didn't happen at Christmas time, and it was all the Tooth Fairy's fault. I put my tooth under my pillow, waiting for my shiny one rupee coin to appear there (1 rupee got 30 peppermints, so that was wealth) and day after day passed and no coin appeared. i just couldn't understand what was wrong. Then my poor forgetful mum took me out on the balcony and said, "Well, Sue... actually the Tooth Fairy is me. And so is Santa Claus." NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Perhaps if we had never started playing that game, I would have avoided the big let down.

---4---

But then, but then, I also remember the years of joy and wonder of the night before Christmas, the anticipation, the thrill of trying to wake up early enough to catch Santa at work, the excitement at seeing the pile of gifts under the tree, and the ones with my name on them. (I must have been a very gullible kid, because I never noticed how similar Santa's handwriting was to my mum's.) It was magic! It definitely added something to my childhood. We also had prayer time, we went to Mass, my siblings and I were not greedy little consumers who only cared about material things. Our family growing up didn't have a lot of money, so the one or two gifts and the stocking full of sweets and dried orange and nuts were so special.

---5---

So I was thinking a lot about the issue. I'm all about the truth and keeping it real and all that jazz, so how did the two work together?

And then I found a great article that gave me a lot of clarity-

The Great Santa Lie Truth by Calah Alexander

Everyone keeps talking about how telling your children about Santa is a lie because Santa isn’t real. But who cares if Santa is real or not? That’s not the point. The point is, Santa is true.

We’ve so totally lost the ability to distinguish between the real and the true that we act like they are the same thing, when they’re not — at least, not always... 

But, said Lewis, myths are lies, even though lies breathed through silver.

No, said Tolkien, “they are not.

…just as speech is invention about objects and ideas, so myth is invention about truth.
We have come from God (continued Tolkien), and inevitably the myths woven by us, though they contain error, will also reflect a splintered fragment of the true light, the eternal truth that is with God. Indeed only by myth-making, only by becoming a ‘sub-creator’ and inventing stories, can Man aspire to the state of perfection that he knew before the Fall. Our myths may be misguided, but they steer however shakily towards the true harbour, while materialistic ‘progress’ leads only to a yawning abyss and the Iron Crown of the power of evil.

You mean, asked Lewis, that the story of Christ is simply a true myth, a myth that works on us in the same way as the others, but a myth that really happened? In that case, he said, I begin to understand. (Read the rest here)

It's a cool perspective that basically says that Santa is a myth that prepares kids to understand deeper truths about God. Undeserved gifts- that's God. Joy and wonder and glimpses of a bigger, more beautiful world- that's a glimpse into God too. And THAT'S real!

---6---

It's a little bit like reading the Chronicles of Narnia, or the Lord of the Rings, or even George MacDonald's books. They're stories, but they feel real, because they reveal truth, and with it wonder and joy and even awe.

---7---

In conclusion, let me leave you with some Christmas memes, because what better way:

That's my plan too... roast chicken stuffing mmmmm

 Ah ha ha ha

7QT: Excerpts from Old Journal

You'd have thought I would have a detailed journal from the time I was six, but surprisingly, I didn't. I had one or two in my childhood I occasionally wrote in, but I only started keeping a regular journal at the ripe old age of 24, on my computer, when I left my home in 2010 to join an organization based in the US. I wrote often in it over the next two and a half years, as I lived in the US and the Philippines, and visited Mexico. Sad to say, once I had regular access to the Internet I wrote a lot less. Anyway, I'm really enjoying re-reading the random snippets of life that I recorded over that time. These are all from my time in the US, maybe next time it will be about the Philippines.

---1---

Americans' reactions to me being Indian:

'K mentioned that he was surprised that I didn't seem to have any accent at all. He’s worked with several Indians with the missionaries of Charity, and said he could recognize Indian accents pretty well now. Well, I told him, there are a variety of Indian accents depending on which part of India you came from. So he asked if my accentlessness was something people from my city had in common or if it was just my family, and I had to admit that it was just my very strange family.

Explaining that I’m not the typical Indian was as hard as I expected it to be. They are surprised that I don’t fit into their expectations of Indians, and I keep trying to tell them that I am pretty different from most Indians...I hope they don’t expect to learn about Indians by observing my life and manners and way of thinking.'

---2---

On being thought to be younger than I am- STILL happens!

'Oh you know, most people are really blank when it comes to figuring out how old I am... I was talking to one of the campers (at a youth camp), a 12 year old girl named N.

N: So how old are you?

Me: Very old.

N: No, how old exactly?

Me: I’ll tell you what. Take a good look at me, estimate how old I look, and then add five years to that.

So she looks at me.

N: Eighteen.

Me: Now add five years to that.

N: I already did!

Good grief! She thought I was thirteen!'

---3---

Insightful American-Indian comparisons:

'I don’t know if I wrote about this before, but one of the major differences I've found between Americans and Indians is that Americans are encouraged to be way more spontaneous and creative and uninhibited ever since they were little kids. Indians are not. So back home our family was considered creative and I was one of the crazy people... here I’m not.'

'I feel a little intimidated by how much more spontaneous everyone is here. Which in turn makes me way more inhibited than I normally am. I remind myself of so many Indians I knew- who were stiff, unsure of themselves, a little envious of the comfort zones of others. And the thing is, I know I’m not like that. Maybe it’s back to my ‘comparison’ complex. I define myself only in relation to other people. So when people at YA (our youth group) were shy or uncomfortable or quiet, I was loud and funny and outgoing. Now that I’m with funny outgoing spontaneous people, I’m quiet and inhibited and a little lost.'

---4---

Even more insight on feeling at home and yet out of place with my new community all wrapped up in a dance analogy (I know, I know, NOT a quick take):

I feel like I was a foreigner in my own country, and now I've finally found my world. Except that I don’t really fit in. Or like I've been speaking a strange language all my life that no one fully understood, and now I've come to a place where everyone speaks the language, except that I've realized I can understand the language really well, but can’t speak it as well as I thought I could.

However I have a strong feeling that I’m going to pick it up gradually, like when I got good at jiving. At first I just watched, for years in fact. I remember sitting at the side at youth group events, everybody else twirling and floating, blurred, but graceful. I would watch so wistfully, but guys rarely asked me to dance. Mostly because it was considered a declaration of interest if a guy asked a girl to dance. So they were scared that they were committing something if they just asked for a dance. So they just didn't. And a few of us girls would just be the wallflowers.

But then gradually I started learning. There were so many awkward attempts. Dancing with other girls, dancing with a few awkward guys who couldn't really dance. I thought it was hopeless. I didn't think I would ever be graceful and jive like the other girls. But then... it happened.... Oh the joy of dancing gracefully. It was like flying. . It was the joy of getting the rhythm, being a part of it, not just observing it from the outside. Being beautiful...

So I’m hoping- and I can see it happening- that I am eventually going to find my groove, move with the rhythm, dance this dance with grace and beauty and joy. It won’t look exactly the same as everyone else, because I’m Indian, and my cultural history is different, and I am different...

...So I will dance a slightly different dance, and yet the same- because we all come from different places, made with different molds and different colours and different flavours, and yet we are all wrapped together by our love for Jesus, and our love for souls, and we are all dancing together in the same direction- towards Heaven. And someday we will all be there, living together in perfect communion with Christ and each other. Someday.

---5---

A cooking fiasco and revealing my un-saintliness to my Christian community

'So I offered to cook (for the community) last week, and decided on chole bhatura as my menu. Simple enough, I thought, considering I had ready-made masala, and I've made bhaturas a zillion times. I started off on Wednesday morning by reading the recipe and suddenly realizing that the bhatura dough was supposed to ‘sit’ for six hours before I could use it. I hadn't even bought the ingredients. And here I can’t just pop down to the store to buy my groceries. It’s a Walmart trip that takes a full hour. So I started very late, using baking powder instead of yeast... not because they didn’t have yeast, but because I assumed they didn’t have yeast, and I didn’t bother to ask. The recipe said place dough in warm place to rise. Since the inside of the house was air conditioned, I decided to put it on a table on the porch. Real wise move.

Okay I am going to cut this narrative short since it really is already wearing on my nerves. Basically first I burnt the onions. Some of them. So I changed the pot, remembering Mama’s warnings about the burnt taste spoiling the whole dish. Then I cut open the packet of chole masala... and EMPTIED THE ENTIRE PACKET ON TO THE ONIONS. And mixed it in well. That’s when I stopped and said “Hmm... this looks very wrong.” I had put in more than double of what I needed. I just hadn't bothered to read the small print on the box. Gosh.

 I had a bunch of kids helping out, and with their encouragement and sympathy, and with a little inspiration from Mama Mary, I threw away half the onion with the masala, and added some more raw onions. Then I decided to check on the dough.

“Oh &%$# !” I exploded in front of all the kids ages 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 10, 12, 13 and 15 and their mother as I charged toward the porch. That stupid crazy dog was on the table, and having pulled off the cling wrap had his head in my dough. I freaked out! What would a dumb dog want with dough?

Thankfully, it hadn't made much headway, so I just threw away the top and quietly used the rest. It hadn't really risen, so the bhaturas didn't puff up well, then I managed to splash hot oil on my foot and the chole curry was so pungent that I added four tomatoes and I still burnt my throat when I tried it... but guess what? It was still edible, and they all enjoyed it. 

Well, the little kids weren’t allowed to eat the curry because it was too pungent, but they enjoyed the bhaturas. Everyone loved the bhaturas, and the older  kids were fascinated by the way they puffed up in the hot oil. The slogan for the bhaturas was “They’re not just edible, they’re INCREDIBLE!”'

---6---

A prayer I wrote that I need to remember:

'Lord, let me see people as souls that You want me to love, not as potential attention-givers or ego-feeders. Grant that I may no longer seek to be loved but to love.'

---7---

Random observations:

'I know I’m inculturated when... I’m at a Mexican event with the others and I say “You know, we’re the only white people here.” Oh, wait.

I know I've had an overload of Spanish when I look at Juanita's FB account and read ‘Wa-neeta’.

I know I miss hearing British English when... I watch Sabrina and feel a little thrill when I hear Audrey Hepburn say ‘buh-nah-nuh’ instead of the American ‘buh-n-Anna’. (A as in apple)'


More Quick Takes at This Ain't the Lyceum.

7QT: Links and Funny Stories

---1---

A few days ago I had the fun opportunity of talking to 14 year olds about sexual morality. I LOVE doing talks like that, because I know how unusual it is for kids to hear about sex in such a frank and unembarrassed way. Plus there are always unexpected moments of hilarity.

Me: Today we're going to talk about sex! Do you know what that is?

One kid's hand shoots up: Yes! 

Me (really surprised)

Kid: It's whether you're a boy or or a girl!

Me: Yeah, but you know the other meaning too? That's the other one we're talking about.

Me: Is sex good or bad?

Kids: Umm...

Me: Who created our sexual desires? Where did they come from? God or the devil?

Kids: The devil!

Me: Really?????

In the small group QnA with just the girls, we asked them to write questions on slips of paper. After one very specific question, 

Me: You all DO know what sex is, right?

Some girls look unsure, half nod, half shake their heads.

Me: Wait, y'all are 14! Y'all must have done this in school, right? Right?

Girls: Um, maybe we'll do it in the 10th standard?

Me: So you really don't know what sex is?

Girl: We think we know, but we're not sure if it is what we think it is.

Me: So you want me to explain?

Girls: Yes.

Me: Oh my goodness.

Girls who DO know what sex is buried their faces in their hands. Lol.

I thought I was past getting embarrassed, but apparently not. Biological explanation of sex followed.

---2---

Okay, on to links.

How to Talk to Your Man about Your Hormones

Apart from the phrase 'Your Man' I liked this article. Living with two other girls means that PMS is a real and relevant aspect of our lives, and hey, it's good to think and talk about what that means.

---3---

15 Things to Start Doing by the Time You're 30

I though it would be a stupid list like 'get a career' and 'stop drinking so much', but it was surprisingly though-provoking (maybe slightly guilt-producing?)

P.S. Less than a year a half to 30 for me!

---4---

I love the Myers Briggs personality types! And then there was this:

Prayers for Myers-Briggs Types

Perfect! I loled!

---5---

Are you struggling with making a decision for your life? Do you desire to do God's will, but are not sure what that is? This is one of my favourite articles on discernment:

Discernment by Dr. Peter Kreeft

Something useful I've been reflecting on is that the most important things is 'goodwill' or the will or desire to do God's will, and if you have that, abandonment and trust are all God calls you to. Something hard for this INTJ who likes to predict and control all possible outcomes.

---6---

I'm not a mom, or a 13 year old who spends hours doing hairstyles with her friends, but I thought his was fun:

Quick and Easy Mom Hairstyles

In both the Philippines and the US I was struck by simple ways that girls and women prettied themselves, something that many Indian women either don't think about much or know much about. A pretty hairstyle takes a few minutes, and can be so pleasant on the eyes. Nowadays I've seen a lot more teenagers try stuff like this out though.

This was my favourite hairstyle for the past six months, especially in the summer

---7---

I'm out of links and funny stories, so here are some pictures of unusual cakes. I made the first one, my mum made the second. Yes, she IS very talented.

More QT at Jen's. #6 cracked me up.

You Thought 7QT Was Random?

Jennifer Fulwiler created Seven Quick Takes Friday for bloggers to pull together a blog post out of seven thoughts/ideas/stories which they didn't have the energy or desire to expand into full blown posts. A kinda cheat blog post. I regularly post those, mostly because it requires less effort than thinking through one idea and making it readable.

Today I feel the urge to blog, have the time, but NO attention span worth speaking of...

Of course, the smarter option would be to get off the Internet, take a nap, and wait to blog when I have something coherent to say... but then I'd never blog.

So here you go. 12 Random Not Even Authentically Bloggable Tidbits.

----1----

Who says only Humans of New York can capture candid meaningful moments and expressions?

"We all wear masks."

----2----

I love catching hidden (or not so hidden) meanings and analogies in the Lord of the Rings... every time I read it, I'm like "Ah ha! Another Catholic analogy!" So of course I was excited to read a blog post called 'Éowyn & St Thérèse: The Story of Two Flowers.'

---3---

This is cool: (via Unequally Yoked)

---4---

Something I've been thinking about: what's the happy medium between constant self-justification and constant self-accusation? Both are real temptations, when anything goes wrong. "Everybody else was wrong, but me." Or "In some way, it was really my fault." How to be free from false guilt, but honest about real weakness and shortcomings? How to be conciliating and seek peace when someone's mad at you, while accepting the truth of your own sin, but rejecting anything which is NOT true?

---5---

Kinda related to that is this snippet from Leticia at Ramblings of a Crazy Face:

The one thing that I am learning how to do is how to set boundaries. How to say no and how to not feel like what someone else thinks or feels is something that I can control. I can’t. I can only control myself and do what I have to do to take care of myself and how they feel or what they think is on them. That is so hard for me because I have always heard that thinking of yourself is selfish. I’m still not sure how it isn’t selfish, but I know that God wants us to take care of ourselves.

Yeah, so how does setting boundaries work alongside sacrificial love that gives all? So confusing.

---6---

Also, here's another balance question:

What's the balance between 'keeping it real' and complaining all the time?

Person A: How are you doing?
Average person: Fine, how about you?
Me: Horrible! I couldn't sleep last night because it felt like I was coughing for hours, and every time I swallowed my throat HURT...

Yeah, TMI is the name of MY game.

---7---

On a completely unrelated note, (I did say random, so why do I need to explain?) riding in my city has gotten scarier in recent months due to an outbreak of crazy suicidal dogs over running the streets. I used to think city stray dogs must be street smart. No more do I think it. They stumble around in the middle of crazy traffic, shoot out into the street at unexpected moments, draw out all the bad language my mind is trying to forget, and keeps my guardian angel on his toes. My brother had a road accident a few days ago with a dog shooting out in front of him.

Although I am neither a dog-lover nor a dog-hater, I have seen too many limping or mangled dog bodies for my peace of mind.

Only in my city: First horror and then relief when you realize the mangled corpse on the road is just a piece of brown sacking.

---8---

Funny conversations while hanging out with our parish RCIA team at a wedding reception.
Me: Hey C, what about YOUR wedding?
C: Me? Why me?
Me: You're 25, you must be thinking of it! Does your family do arranged marriages?
C: No...
Me: Ooh, then can WE arrange something?
C: (Embarrassed!)
Aunty* 1: Yes! You're looking? I know someone!
Aunty 2: I also know someone! (Pulling at her purse) I have a photo!

I love our Indian culture where everyone takes a strong and active interest in everyone else's future marriages. Well, I only love it when I'm not at the receiving end.

Aunty 1: What about you, Sue? Can we look for someone for you?
Me: (piously) Only God is my matchmaker.
Aunty 1 (very seriously): We are all God's instruments.

---9---

I heard the cutest love story the other day. Paraphrased: They were for different states and communities, which in India is a no-no for marriages. They were working in the same area and saw each other, and started talking. They fell in love, but her family forbade her from marrying him. they even beat her, to try to change her mind, but she told them, "I will marry only him." Finally she ran away with him, with only the clothes she was wearing.

She said for the first year of her marriage she only had one pot to cook with. So she would cook the rice, serve it, clean the pot and then reuse it to make the dal. It was only after the first child was born that their families began to speak to them again, and all was forgiven. She told me, "He is such a good husband, he doesn't tell me that I'm not allowed to go anywhere, he likes me to wear jeans, he doesn't mind if I leave my hair loose." It said so much to me about most Indian marriages, that her husband is an exception.

---10---

I discovered yet another Time-Sucker. Facebook was bad enough. But have you played 2048? I looked it up out of curiosity when my sister posted her high score on FB and everyone seemed to know what she was talking about. I looked it up... and came back to real life four days later. Okay, not four days, but there have definitely been some hours sucked away through this game.

Here's the reason (I think): It gives me space to think. I love mindless repetitive tasks for exactly that reason.  There's always so much going on in my brain and in my life that there doesn't seem to be space to process it all. That also may be why I have such an active dream life. My brain is frantically trying to figure it all out, fit it into patterns, draw conclusions, put pieces together. When I play games like 2048, my brain feels free to do so peacefully.

---11---

Here's one of the reasons my brain gets tired easily. Whenever I'm giving a talk, or listening to a talk or a homily, I'm not just listening to it. I am switching between different perspectives as I listen. First, there's me... what am I personally getting from this? Then there's Truth-Scanner, where my brain is constantly comparing what I hear with authentic Catholic teaching that I'v read or heard. There's so often heresy taught so naturally that my brain is always on alert. Syncretism alert! Prosperity gospel alert! Etc.

Then my brain keeps switching to different people in the audience. What is THAT person hearing? Are they getting what they need to hear? This is too simple for that cynical person. This is too high-falutin' for that simple person. This is too Catholic-sounding. This is not Catholic-sounding enough.

Phew. No wonder my brain hurts.

---12---

Something I was going to write about at some point... I've had some anxiety struggles in the past year. I've tried a lot of different ways of dealing with it, but the most successful one was this book:

And then a good friend dropped by a few days ago with an 'anti-anxiety package', with solutions that she looked up online. It included chamomile tea, a scented candle, lavender soap, probiotic yogurt and hot chocolate because tea and coffee make my anxiety worse. It was so special. I can only wish I was so thoughtful.

Okay, goodbye.

*Aunty doesn't mean blood relation, it's just a generic term for any woman in India over the age of... 40?

7QT: 7 Lessons Learned from Taking 55 Slum Kids for a Picnic

So my team and our Christian professionals group got together on Saturday to accomplish the exciting but somewhat scary mission of taking 55 kids from the slum for a picnic to a nearby garden. Most of the kids were from the tuition class I teach at, but some were just kids who live on the street where we teach who hang out with on Saturdays. (Funny aside, kids in India DRESS UP for picnics- they all came in their best clothes with heels and earrings and even lipstick! I guess it's quite the event for them.) This is what I learned:

---1---

Having a child to volunteer ratio of 4:1 is a very good idea. About 20 adults turned up to help. Dividing them up, about 4 kids to a volunteer an even better idea. Instead of 20 people herding a wild mob of 55 kids, each of the didis (big sisters) and bhaiyas (brothers) were holding the hands of their little mischief makers, which probably reduced the chaos a zillion fold. Plus we had enough extra adults for food distributors, emergency bathroom break guides, and law enforcement officers.

---2---

Forbidding 55 kids from dipping their feet in the VERY tempting stream was a BAD idea. It's like dangling candy in front of them and then repeating "No candy! No candy for you!" But, once the rule was made... consistency and discipline demanded that it be followed.

---3---

Kids can think of very creative ways around rules they don't like. The footballs they were playing with very conveniently kept falling into the stream. "Oh no" they helplessly gestured to me, "I guess I'll make the supreme sacrifice of jumping in the water and getting it out." I didn't think so. I started confiscating the ball.

Next I see kids with little plastic cups, practically inside the stream. "No, Miss, we're not playing in the water... We're just catching fish!" Later there was some 'miscommunication' and a couple of the more rowdy ones landed up in the stream (when I wasn't around of course)... with no clothes on except their underwear. Yeah.

---4---

A little Hindi goes a long way when it comes to controlling children. I had a few handy phrases which worked wonderfully. "What did I say?" was the top used line, "Don't fight", "If you don't listen, I'm taking you straight home." "Come here", "Do NOT throw trash on the ground!" Actually, hanging out with kids is a great way to learn the basics of a language... it's very simple sentence structures, and there's usually a sense of urgency. Sometimes you just NEED to know how to scream "DO NOT DO THAT!" in another language.

---5---

A mixture of not feeling well, kids not obeying rules, and the need to control the chaos turns me into Dragon Lady. I played the Bad Cop and all the other volunteers played Good Cop. I sat by the stream and scared kids away, while the others volunteers laughed and played and ran around with the kids. Hmm, who sounds like they chose the better part?

When I say Dragon Lady, this is what I mean. Yikes.

----6----

Kids don't hold a grudge. Even though I played the role of Foiler of Fun Plans, they still seemed to be happy to be with me. I think in India, the 'Discipliner' is a recognized and not unduly resented role, as long as one is not unfair or mean.

---7---

Picnics are fun! Even though I think Don Bosco was probably a little disappointed in me (he believed in the preventive method of discipline, not the repressive system , by using 'reason, religion and loving kindness' with children), I think the picnic was a blessing for the kids, and for us. We got to hang out, outside of the little classroom in the dirty slum. We got to be surrounded by God's beautiful creation. And we got to hold hands, push swings, and listen to them chatter about everything.

Plus there's always next time.

More QT at Jen's.

7QT: Horrifying Insects, Scrabble Tips and Links

---1---

So I had a creepy deja vu of the Spider incident a couple of days ago. I was in the living room on my laptop one night, when  my room mate BA was in the bedroom. "Hey guys, I think there's a praying mantis in here." "Mm hmm?" I responded. "Well, I think it's a praying mantis." "Maybe it's a grasshopper?" I lazily responded without moving. She didn't seem too freaked out by this potential praying mantis/ grasshopper in the bedroom, so there was no reason why I should be.

A little while later she called out, "Sue! There might be a bug on your bed." She sleeps on the upper half of our bunk bed, and I on the lower. "Okay, I'll be sure to check when I get in." Then a little later "Somebody put on the light! The insect's on my bed!"

I finally felt like I might need to be doing something more supportive than making non commital responses from the next room, so I got up and switched the light on. I peered on to her bed...

and saw THIS:

Okay, not this exact one, because I didn't take pictures, but proceeded to helpfully start freaking out. "Ohmygosh, it's huge!"

Then we both simultaneously started yelling, "EWWW, WHAT is it DOING?"

The Insect was moving in an odd manner and then started SPEWING SOME DARK LIQUID OUT OF ITS MOUTH AND ON TO HER BED RAILING!!! Okay, maybe not spewing, but dripping in a steady and disgusting manner. "Is that BLOOD??" "Sick!"

By this time, our third room mate decided it was time to join us, while I started running around our room looking for a weapon. There didn't seem to be anything big enough to kill it. Plus BA felt like there would be guts everywhere if we smashed it. "What do we do? What do we do?" "Watch out, it can fly!" "Come, Holy Spirit!"

"Get me a plastic dabba (tupperware)" BA finally decided. I did. That must have been the most helpful thing I did all evening. The Insect evaded her, and began to crawl down to my bed. She lunged at it and half missed, while all three of us proceeded to scream loudly (I might have started it.). Past 11 pm in a crowded apartment building. Whatever did our neighbours think we were upto?

Anyway. She caught it. And left it trapped under a plastic dabba on our kitchen floor for the next day, until our guy friends came and rescued either its dead body or its semi conscious body.

---2---

It turns out to be a 'katydid', or a bush cricket. It seems that I am not the only person in whom katydids inspire fear, as I found out as I typed in 'Can katydids...' in Google search, and found these options:

I was also fascinated to read that some species of katydids are 'exclusively predatory, feeding on other insects, snails or even small vertebrates such as snakes and lizards.'

YES KATYDIDS CAN HURT YOU.

Nightmares.

---3---

Moving on.

So two of my guy team mates took me out on brother sister date the other day. They showed me that they knew me well, by pulling out a Scrabble board at the restaurant (much to the bemusement of passersby who have never seen such a thing).

When I was a kid playing Scrabble with my parents used to be so frustrating because my dad always got the 7 letter words, and would be hundreds of points ahead of us every time. But then some years ago I started playing an online game that transformed my seven letter word making abilities and made me a Scrabble master (comparatively):

This game: Eight which just makes you start looking at letters differently as you search for the big word hidden in them.

You're welcome.

---4---

So you know who I'm always thinking of the mechanics and logistics of people finding the right person to marry... I just read this article where Leah Libresco talks about the same thing!

If Someone Put Me in Charge of Yenta-ing You All

Matchmaker, matchmaker...

The funny thing is, I already work in an organization which involves young people working together on service and evangelistic projects. Not surprisingly, there have been several matches that have come out of it.

On the other hand, doing a service project or joining a service-oriented organization that has a large number of young people of the same faith JUST to find someone seems like a bad idea... because then it seems purely self-serving. Or desperate. NOT an attractive quality in a potential life partner, OR a fulfilling way to live your life.

I guess a good balance is to be open to the possibilities without that being your focus.

---5---

Nothing more to say, and almost bed time, so here's a cute song (stolen from Conversion Diary a few weeks ago)

---6----

And here's a WONDERFUL post that made me laugh out loud several time:

The Arm in my Driveway

Heather is always so funny and real.

Plus, that is EXACTLY me every time something goes wrong "Why ME, Lord? Don't you love me? Why is this happening???? Please nooo!!!" Yeah, Super Mature Christian am I.

---7---

Um, I got nothing. Bedtime.

"Discipline is remembering what you want."

More Quick Takes at Conversion Diary.

7QT: Courtship, Wars and Links

I haven't written for my blog in too long.

It's a busy life.

Anyway, down to business.

---1---

New favourite website: What If?

You know how sometimes your mind just gets caught wondering about an impossible situations? Have no fear, your questions may be answered. No matter how ridiculous.

If you call a random phone number and say “God bless you”, what are the chances that the person who answers just sneezed?

(Don't click if you're supposed to be working, and not wasting time on the Internet.)

---2---

I have often been annoyed when people say 'God loves me' when things go their way. (Even though I do it sometimes too.) Or if they get a parking spot and they say "It was all the Lord." So if you HADN'T found a parking spot, it was the devil? Who controls these things?

Things sometimes work out the way you hope they will, and sometimes they don't, and that happens to those who know and love God, and those who profess no faith at all. And yet I DO believe that God answers prayers, God shows us His love in practical and tangible ways very often. I've experienced it myself, too often for it to be coincidence.

So when Simcha Fisher addressed this, I knew I wanted to share her article:

Why I Don't Say "I'm Blessed"

(Although I DO say I'm blessed... even when I don't like my 'blessings'. It's all out of love.)

---3---

I'm kind of freaking out that I knew almost nothing about the Indo-Pakistan war of 1972 until last night. Well, I knew vaguely that India and Pakistan had fought, but had never thought of when and why. Then a few months ago I read Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie, which is about the period after India's Independence... and whoah! I read about Pakistan (then West Pakistan) invading (now) Bangladesh, about the rape and murder, the genocide, and I thought 'Could this be fiction?'

Then last night I looked it up: Indo-Pakistani War of 1971. And it's all true! It all happened! Pakistan tore apart Bangladesh, and India stepped in to help. The international community turned a blind eye.

General Tikka Khan earned the nickname 'Butcher of Bengal' due to the widespread atrocities he committed. General Niazi commenting on his actions noted 'On the night between 25/26 March 1971 General Tikka struck. Peaceful night was turned into a time of wailing, crying and burning. General Tikka let loose everything at his disposal as if raiding an enemy, not dealing with his own misguided and misled people. The military action was a display of stark cruelty more merciless than the massacres at Bukhara and Baghdad by Chengiz Khan and Halaku Khan... General Tikka... resorted to the killing of civilians and a scorched earth policy. His orders to his troops were: 'I want the land not the people...' Major General Farman had written in his table diary, "Green land of East Pakistan will be painted red". It was painted red by Bengali blood.'

Millions of refugees poured into India. When I visited Kolkata, I saw how poor and underdeveloped the city was. Part of the reason was the thousands of penniless refugees who flooded the country at that time. My great uncle who was a priest then and Mother Teresa worked with the refugees.

Did I not learn this in school? Was it not said in a way that I understood? This is a part of India's recent history! I should have known!

---4---

Someone recently emailed me this article:

Why Courtship is Fundamentally Flawed

She sent it to me because I am pro-courtship, and she wanted my opinion. I started reading it somewhat defensively, like anyone would while preparing for a pet idea to be attacked. But by the time I reached the end, I realized we were on the same side, we just use different labels for the same ideas.

Basically the theory of courtship that I believe does not exclude 'low-stakes dating'. That means, go ahead and go out for coffee with guys who ask you out on a date. (We call it the acquaintance stage.) It doesn't mean you have just promised to grow old with them. Go out for coffee with multiple guys!

BUT I am still against long-term intense dating relationships with one person... which are not headed towards marriage (preferably sooner than later.) Those seem to play at marriage without the long term commitment, which has so many potential negative consequences.

I think that the 'courtship' that the author refers to is something very different than we understand it, and starts a lot earlier. That's probably why the parents are so heavily involved. My theory is 'If marriage is not something realistic for years to come, don't date yet.'

Of course all this is just theoretical, because India's still caught between arranged marriage and love marriages (which usually seem to follow long-term intense dating relationships), and no one's talking about courtship OR low stakes dating yet.

Leah Libresco writes more about it in her article 'Why is it easier to ask out strangers than friends'.

---5---

Remember how this was supposed to be 'quick' takes? Oops, sorry.

Here's a recipe that I just made, and loved, so I want to make it every day! (But won't because who has time to cook everyday?)

Cauliflower Dum Masala

2 cauliflowers (broken into pieces and par-boiled)
2 pureed onions
2 tsp ginger garlic paste
4 chopped tomatoes
turmeric powder
chilli powder
curd
chopped fresh coriander
sliced boiled eggs
sugar
salt

Fry the onions, ginger garlic paste and spices well, then add the tomato, and then the cauliflower. Mix with curd (seasoned with sugar and salt), and garnish with eggs and corinader.

Yum!

(If only I had taken a picture. Oh well, next time.)

---6---

(Am I only on 6??)

For married couples.. I liked this:

5 Things We are Getting Right in our Marriage

---7---

It was teachers' day in India a few weeks ago. At the programme the kids organized in our tuition room in the slum, one of my twelve year old students read this speech she had written.

Good evening one and all,

Today at teachers day I, Karuna from Std VIIth want to say few words.

First of all I want to wish all the teachers a very happy teachers day. Till now which-ever tuition changed I did not get a tuition and teachers like you all. In my school also there is no teacher like you all who encourages us, appreciate us in little-little things.

As you all know that I am a newcomer in this tution so I wanted to give you this surprise and I hope that you will like it.

You all teachers are the bestest teacher that I have ever seen, who never beat children, who never scold children, the talk polielty with us. I want to say thank you for your all encorages. Once again a Happy Teachers Day to all the teachers. Thank you.

Makes it all worth it, right, teachers?

More quick takes at Jen's.