7QT: Videos You Want To See

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India's Daughter

The first video that I'm not linking because it was banned in India. But if you search you might be able to find it online.  And if you can't, here is a partial transcript. WARNING: GRAPHIC VIOLENT CONTENT

It is a documentary made by BBC about the rape of a girl in Delhi little more than two years ago. It is gruesome and shocking. But what's worse is that this is just ONE case among thousands, many of which go unreported. And even more shocking is a culture in India that blames and shames the victims. Something HAS to change!

Worst quote: " You can’t clap with one hand. It takes two hands to clap. A decent girl won’t roam around at 9 o’clock at night. A girl is far more responsible for rape than a boy." One of the rapists


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Girl on Fire

Jennifer Fulwiler, one of my favourite bloggers speaks at a Catholic conference. She's very down to earth, always real, and always has something to say that I hold on to.


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Talented Siblings Sing Hero



For some reason, I just want to keep listening to this. It also makes me want to harmonize.

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The Much Awaited Flash Mob Video: Starring Me and My Friends! (Yes, grammatically incorrect, I know)

 Regular blog readers will remember a mention of this event in the P.S. of this blog post: Flash Mobs. And it happened! The groom told us he loved boy bands (how come self-professed unjudgmental people think it's okay to judge people for liking boy bands? Personal preference, people!) Neither he nor the bride knew it was going to happen, and they loved it!

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How to Grow in Times of Trial by Fr. Jacques Philippe



I LOVE Fr. Jacques Philippe! The Peace book that he wrote has become my favourite spiritual book, and now I'm reading 'In the School of the Holy Spirit' also by him, which is rocking my world! So Lenten reflections by him... great idea! (I don't know why I was surprised that he is French and speaks French with a name like Jacques Philippe.)

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Iraqi Christian Girl Teaches Isis The Power of Forgiveness


 
I'm usually a little suspicious that these kind of videos are going to try to be emotionally manipulative, but I found this very touching, and very authentic. The little girl didn't seem very different from other little girls that I know.

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Why I'll Never Be Happy


I usually enjoy Blimey Cow, but when I watched this one, I was like "This. Is. Me."

I have every reason to be happy... but my mind always seems to be focussed either on the present seemingly HUGE disaster, or the potential future disaster that is JUST. AROUND. THE. CORNER.

I need to remember... Today is the only day I have to be happy.

More QTs at This Ain't The Lyceum.

7QT: Valentine's Day, Life in India, Links

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Every now and again something happens to remind me what a privileged and protected life I lead in India. I live in a big city, in a housing society, in an apartment in a group of building enclosed in a compound (called housing society). It's not particularly fancy, but it's safe, and kids can run around without being scared of being run over by traffic.

A few days ago I went to a repair shop just outside our society to get our blender fixed. As I waited for the shopkeeper/repairman to fix it, there was a sudden disturbance. A group of men started yelling at each other just outside the shop. There was so much anger and violence in their voices. Within a few minutes, the violent words changed into actions, as people ran and joined the fight, grabbed iron bars while yelling at each other in Marathi (which meant I didn't know what the fight was about). It was so freaky! It's like I could see evil controlling these men. I started praying under my breath, while fear gripped me. I thought I was about to see a murder. People gathered around, but it didn't seem like anyone could stop them, though some tried. Thankfully the main angry guy zoomed off on a bike, and I left, not at all sure that he wasn't going to return with back up.

I was really upset. And then I realized, this was normal life for so many, including the kids I teach in the slum. How much trauma they must have been through.

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Which is one of the reasons I am so blessed to be able to show the kids we teach a glimpse of the world outside the violence-ridden slum in which they live. I do that through talking and sharing with them as I teach them, talking to them about the different countries of the world, introducing them to books, Story Club, picnics, and last week a special Valentine's Day activity at my home.

We only took the 7th and 8th graders (me trying control the potential chaos by NOT inviting the crazy under 12 year olds). We taught them how to bake and decorate cupcakes, wore aprons (to the embarrassment of the two boys who came), make Valentine's Day cards for people they love (NO BOYFRIENDS OR GIRLFRIENDS!!), ate lunch together, packed the cupcakes in cute little boxes with ribbons,  and just had such a good time together. The kids loved it!

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 Speaking of love, I've been reading some cool blog posts about marriage. Yes, I know, I know, for a single woman, I sure read a lot about marriage. I think though that a lot of the things I read apply to any kind of relationships to some extent.

Marriage as Work vs Marriage as the Cross

This one speaks more about the fact that sometimes marriage (and relationships, and life) are just hard! And that means if someone is struggling or has a hard marriage or life, it's not necessarily something that can be fixed, if you just work harder, or better, or get counselling. Sometimes life involves suffering, and you just have to accept those times without feeling like guilty about that too.

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And another beautifully real one:

How Real People Make Shades of Real Love

We married wrong. 

Don’t buy what anybody else is selling: Everyone always marry wrong.

Because what’s wrong in the world is always us. 

Marriage and love and time, these are the enormous forces that inevitably chisel and change us into strangers. The springs sag. Mattresses sigh. Marriage changes us into strangers who have to meet and introduce each other to love all over again. 
None of us ever know whom we marry. And falling in love never made anyone angels… it’s only made it clear how far we’ve fallen. Who we say ‘I do’ to — is not who we roll over to touch twenty years later. The challenge for the vows is to fall in love with the stranger to whom you find yourself married.

...

The real romantics know that stretchmarks are beauty marks, and that different shaped women fit into the different shapes of men souls, and that real romance is really sacrifice.

How crazy it seems that we get our views about love, romance and marriage from stupid shallow chick flicks and trashy romance novels which seem to have no relation whatsoever with reality.

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7 Ways to Improve Your Marriage This Lent 

Very practical, and again some points even relevant to us single people. It's written by Danielle Bean whose blog was one of the first Catholic blogs I started reading about eight years ago, I loved the stories she wrote about her life with her eight children. I even bought a book by her... for moms! And a few weeks before I left for the US, I dreamed that I was going to live next to her, and help her with her kids. Yes, I'm a little strange.

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Well, marriage plus being Catholic often leads to babies, many of them, and then you get links to hilarious pregnancy anecdotes like these ones:

25 Hilarious Pregnancy Brain Moments 

One of the few articles that actually had me laughing out loud:

7. I cried at Smiths when they didn’t have any ripe avocados and actually told the produce worker “I hope you are happy, you pathetic punk…. I hate you….” He then found me in the check out and handed me 2 ripe avocados and said “my wife is pregnant too, it’s ok.”

And the picture at the top of the article makes me want to laugh even harder.

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And to close, shout out to Pope Francis whose words in 'Joy of the Gospel' are not only changing and inspiring me, but people all over the world in cool, crazy, and challenging ways:

Smell Like the Sheep

More Quick Takes at This Ain't the Lyceum.

Linkses for my Peepsicles (Updated)

Yes, yes, I know it has been WAY too long. A lot has happened, and there have been a lot of changes in my life, with one of the side effects being the lack of motivation or energy or mental space to blog. But glory be, as I find my feet, re-organize my life and find a rhythm that works, I once again feel the stirrings of a desire to write.

And yet, it's hard to choose WHAT to write about. Be funny, thoughtful, intense or obsessive? Talk about things that matter, things that fill my mind, or comic sketches and snippets of the randomness of life? I want to do it all! I want to write about EVERYTHING! And I want to be hilarious  and yet real while doing it. High standards much?

As a result, even though I've been ready to write for a while, I still haven't written. So to get out of the non-writing rut, I'm just going to share a bunch of awesome links! You're welcome.

Leila Miller at Little Catholic Bubble shared the touching and real story of her mother-in-law's journey to Catholicism.

My Mother-in-Law Carol's Conversion Story, Part One

Part 2

And Part 3

I guess its meaningful because so many Christians pray and hope that their family members experience the truth and beauty of a faith in Christ, and yet so often a judgmental attitude, being overly pushy or overly scared of being pushy, and maybe just plain hopelessness creeps in. But this was encouraging, because it reminded me that GOD is the one pursuing people, and we need to either cooperate or get out of the way.

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 So everyone got really excited/upset about Pope Francis' comments on a plane out of the Philippines about Catholics not needing to be like rabbits.

A lot of people felt really hurt because a lot of people with big families have already been told by society that they are being irresponsible, that they must be uneducated and irresponsible to ever make such a choice.

But as usual if we look at the Pope's comments in context, reading the ACTUAL interview, not just mainstream media's reports of or comments on it, and also some of his previous comments, you can see he wasn't dissing big families. Leila Miller once again talks a bit about what he WAS bringing out.

"Breeding like rabbits", eh?

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 Aand a single girl recommends articles about marriage:

Science Says Lasting Relationships Come Down To 2 Basic Traits

I found this one very interesting especially the talk about 'bids for connection':

Throughout the day, partners would make requests for connection, what Gottman calls “bids.” For example, say that the husband is a bird enthusiast and notices a goldfinch fly across the yard. He might say to his wife, “Look at that beautiful bird outside!” He’s not just commenting on the bird here: he’s requesting a response from his wife — a sign of interest or support — hoping they’ll connect, however momentarily, over the bird.

The wife now has a choice. She can respond by either “turning toward” or “turning away” from her husband, as Gottman puts it. Though the bird-bid might seem minor and silly, it can actually reveal a lot about the health of the relationship. The husband thought the bird was important enough to bring it up in conversation and the question is whether his wife recognizes and respects that.

 I actually think that the article is relevant for any kind of relationship, not just romantic ones.

This is another good one:

12 Lessons Learned In 12 Years Of Marriage

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Have you ever been asked to pray for a stranger? Do you ever do it? When I saw a lot of FB friends calling for prayers for Paul and Ann Coakley, I actually stopped and prayed. And seeing the many people who were united in prayer, I caught a glimpse of the community that we are called to live in.

 (That's Paul, in comic form)

And Heather from Mama Knows, Honeychild emerged from her hibernation to write this:

The Privilege of Praying for a Stranger

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Leah Libresco of Unequally Yoked did an interview about her conversion and spiritual life. I find her very unusual and very interesting- she's single, very intelligent, and though she's a Catholic writer doesn't seem to be trying to convince anyone of anything, but just explores the fascinating parts of the world on her blog.

My Journey from Atheist to Catholic: 11 Questions for Leah Libresco 

How does Catholicism influence your approach to being a writer?
It makes it a lot easier to resist weighing in on every hot button or controversial issue/news story to come along. I didn’t write anything on the Synod on the Family, for example.  I feel freer to choose the topics I have actual expertise in and where I have genuine joy to share, because no one’s salvation will ever turn on what I write or don’t write.

If I am doing good, it’ll be mostly by getting out of the way of God, and letting him shine through me more clearly, so I try to focus on writing about whatever delights me most or whatever strikes me as beautiful (hence, a lot math and Sondheim).
My job isn’t to explain the whole church and every bit of its theology, or to trace out what Christianity says about every question that might come up (I’ll leave some of those to the Vatican astronomer!). A lot of what Ido try to do is give a sense of why I find the church beautiful and plausible enough to be worth asking questions about, and, once someone’s sold on that point, they can do what I did and find the people who are specialists on whatever troubles them.

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Okay, more later!

7QT: Links and Funny Stories

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A few days ago I had the fun opportunity of talking to 14 year olds about sexual morality. I LOVE doing talks like that, because I know how unusual it is for kids to hear about sex in such a frank and unembarrassed way. Plus there are always unexpected moments of hilarity.

Me: Today we're going to talk about sex! Do you know what that is?

One kid's hand shoots up: Yes! 

Me (really surprised)

Kid: It's whether you're a boy or or a girl!

Me: Yeah, but you know the other meaning too? That's the other one we're talking about.

Me: Is sex good or bad?

Kids: Umm...

Me: Who created our sexual desires? Where did they come from? God or the devil?

Kids: The devil!

Me: Really?????

In the small group QnA with just the girls, we asked them to write questions on slips of paper. After one very specific question, 

Me: You all DO know what sex is, right?

Some girls look unsure, half nod, half shake their heads.

Me: Wait, y'all are 14! Y'all must have done this in school, right? Right?

Girls: Um, maybe we'll do it in the 10th standard?

Me: So you really don't know what sex is?

Girl: We think we know, but we're not sure if it is what we think it is.

Me: So you want me to explain?

Girls: Yes.

Me: Oh my goodness.

Girls who DO know what sex is buried their faces in their hands. Lol.

I thought I was past getting embarrassed, but apparently not. Biological explanation of sex followed.

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Okay, on to links.

How to Talk to Your Man about Your Hormones

Apart from the phrase 'Your Man' I liked this article. Living with two other girls means that PMS is a real and relevant aspect of our lives, and hey, it's good to think and talk about what that means.

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15 Things to Start Doing by the Time You're 30

I though it would be a stupid list like 'get a career' and 'stop drinking so much', but it was surprisingly though-provoking (maybe slightly guilt-producing?)

P.S. Less than a year a half to 30 for me!

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I love the Myers Briggs personality types! And then there was this:

Prayers for Myers-Briggs Types

Perfect! I loled!

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Are you struggling with making a decision for your life? Do you desire to do God's will, but are not sure what that is? This is one of my favourite articles on discernment:

Discernment by Dr. Peter Kreeft

Something useful I've been reflecting on is that the most important things is 'goodwill' or the will or desire to do God's will, and if you have that, abandonment and trust are all God calls you to. Something hard for this INTJ who likes to predict and control all possible outcomes.

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I'm not a mom, or a 13 year old who spends hours doing hairstyles with her friends, but I thought his was fun:

Quick and Easy Mom Hairstyles

In both the Philippines and the US I was struck by simple ways that girls and women prettied themselves, something that many Indian women either don't think about much or know much about. A pretty hairstyle takes a few minutes, and can be so pleasant on the eyes. Nowadays I've seen a lot more teenagers try stuff like this out though.

This was my favourite hairstyle for the past six months, especially in the summer

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I'm out of links and funny stories, so here are some pictures of unusual cakes. I made the first one, my mum made the second. Yes, she IS very talented.

More QT at Jen's. #6 cracked me up.

7QT: Horrifying Insects, Scrabble Tips and Links

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So I had a creepy deja vu of the Spider incident a couple of days ago. I was in the living room on my laptop one night, when  my room mate BA was in the bedroom. "Hey guys, I think there's a praying mantis in here." "Mm hmm?" I responded. "Well, I think it's a praying mantis." "Maybe it's a grasshopper?" I lazily responded without moving. She didn't seem too freaked out by this potential praying mantis/ grasshopper in the bedroom, so there was no reason why I should be.

A little while later she called out, "Sue! There might be a bug on your bed." She sleeps on the upper half of our bunk bed, and I on the lower. "Okay, I'll be sure to check when I get in." Then a little later "Somebody put on the light! The insect's on my bed!"

I finally felt like I might need to be doing something more supportive than making non commital responses from the next room, so I got up and switched the light on. I peered on to her bed...

and saw THIS:

Okay, not this exact one, because I didn't take pictures, but proceeded to helpfully start freaking out. "Ohmygosh, it's huge!"

Then we both simultaneously started yelling, "EWWW, WHAT is it DOING?"

The Insect was moving in an odd manner and then started SPEWING SOME DARK LIQUID OUT OF ITS MOUTH AND ON TO HER BED RAILING!!! Okay, maybe not spewing, but dripping in a steady and disgusting manner. "Is that BLOOD??" "Sick!"

By this time, our third room mate decided it was time to join us, while I started running around our room looking for a weapon. There didn't seem to be anything big enough to kill it. Plus BA felt like there would be guts everywhere if we smashed it. "What do we do? What do we do?" "Watch out, it can fly!" "Come, Holy Spirit!"

"Get me a plastic dabba (tupperware)" BA finally decided. I did. That must have been the most helpful thing I did all evening. The Insect evaded her, and began to crawl down to my bed. She lunged at it and half missed, while all three of us proceeded to scream loudly (I might have started it.). Past 11 pm in a crowded apartment building. Whatever did our neighbours think we were upto?

Anyway. She caught it. And left it trapped under a plastic dabba on our kitchen floor for the next day, until our guy friends came and rescued either its dead body or its semi conscious body.

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It turns out to be a 'katydid', or a bush cricket. It seems that I am not the only person in whom katydids inspire fear, as I found out as I typed in 'Can katydids...' in Google search, and found these options:

I was also fascinated to read that some species of katydids are 'exclusively predatory, feeding on other insects, snails or even small vertebrates such as snakes and lizards.'

YES KATYDIDS CAN HURT YOU.

Nightmares.

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Moving on.

So two of my guy team mates took me out on brother sister date the other day. They showed me that they knew me well, by pulling out a Scrabble board at the restaurant (much to the bemusement of passersby who have never seen such a thing).

When I was a kid playing Scrabble with my parents used to be so frustrating because my dad always got the 7 letter words, and would be hundreds of points ahead of us every time. But then some years ago I started playing an online game that transformed my seven letter word making abilities and made me a Scrabble master (comparatively):

This game: Eight which just makes you start looking at letters differently as you search for the big word hidden in them.

You're welcome.

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So you know who I'm always thinking of the mechanics and logistics of people finding the right person to marry... I just read this article where Leah Libresco talks about the same thing!

If Someone Put Me in Charge of Yenta-ing You All

Matchmaker, matchmaker...

The funny thing is, I already work in an organization which involves young people working together on service and evangelistic projects. Not surprisingly, there have been several matches that have come out of it.

On the other hand, doing a service project or joining a service-oriented organization that has a large number of young people of the same faith JUST to find someone seems like a bad idea... because then it seems purely self-serving. Or desperate. NOT an attractive quality in a potential life partner, OR a fulfilling way to live your life.

I guess a good balance is to be open to the possibilities without that being your focus.

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Nothing more to say, and almost bed time, so here's a cute song (stolen from Conversion Diary a few weeks ago)

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And here's a WONDERFUL post that made me laugh out loud several time:

The Arm in my Driveway

Heather is always so funny and real.

Plus, that is EXACTLY me every time something goes wrong "Why ME, Lord? Don't you love me? Why is this happening???? Please nooo!!!" Yeah, Super Mature Christian am I.

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Um, I got nothing. Bedtime.

"Discipline is remembering what you want."

More Quick Takes at Conversion Diary.

7QT: Courtship, Wars and Links

I haven't written for my blog in too long.

It's a busy life.

Anyway, down to business.

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New favourite website: What If?

You know how sometimes your mind just gets caught wondering about an impossible situations? Have no fear, your questions may be answered. No matter how ridiculous.

If you call a random phone number and say “God bless you”, what are the chances that the person who answers just sneezed?

(Don't click if you're supposed to be working, and not wasting time on the Internet.)

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I have often been annoyed when people say 'God loves me' when things go their way. (Even though I do it sometimes too.) Or if they get a parking spot and they say "It was all the Lord." So if you HADN'T found a parking spot, it was the devil? Who controls these things?

Things sometimes work out the way you hope they will, and sometimes they don't, and that happens to those who know and love God, and those who profess no faith at all. And yet I DO believe that God answers prayers, God shows us His love in practical and tangible ways very often. I've experienced it myself, too often for it to be coincidence.

So when Simcha Fisher addressed this, I knew I wanted to share her article:

Why I Don't Say "I'm Blessed"

(Although I DO say I'm blessed... even when I don't like my 'blessings'. It's all out of love.)

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I'm kind of freaking out that I knew almost nothing about the Indo-Pakistan war of 1972 until last night. Well, I knew vaguely that India and Pakistan had fought, but had never thought of when and why. Then a few months ago I read Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie, which is about the period after India's Independence... and whoah! I read about Pakistan (then West Pakistan) invading (now) Bangladesh, about the rape and murder, the genocide, and I thought 'Could this be fiction?'

Then last night I looked it up: Indo-Pakistani War of 1971. And it's all true! It all happened! Pakistan tore apart Bangladesh, and India stepped in to help. The international community turned a blind eye.

General Tikka Khan earned the nickname 'Butcher of Bengal' due to the widespread atrocities he committed. General Niazi commenting on his actions noted 'On the night between 25/26 March 1971 General Tikka struck. Peaceful night was turned into a time of wailing, crying and burning. General Tikka let loose everything at his disposal as if raiding an enemy, not dealing with his own misguided and misled people. The military action was a display of stark cruelty more merciless than the massacres at Bukhara and Baghdad by Chengiz Khan and Halaku Khan... General Tikka... resorted to the killing of civilians and a scorched earth policy. His orders to his troops were: 'I want the land not the people...' Major General Farman had written in his table diary, "Green land of East Pakistan will be painted red". It was painted red by Bengali blood.'

Millions of refugees poured into India. When I visited Kolkata, I saw how poor and underdeveloped the city was. Part of the reason was the thousands of penniless refugees who flooded the country at that time. My great uncle who was a priest then and Mother Teresa worked with the refugees.

Did I not learn this in school? Was it not said in a way that I understood? This is a part of India's recent history! I should have known!

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Someone recently emailed me this article:

Why Courtship is Fundamentally Flawed

She sent it to me because I am pro-courtship, and she wanted my opinion. I started reading it somewhat defensively, like anyone would while preparing for a pet idea to be attacked. But by the time I reached the end, I realized we were on the same side, we just use different labels for the same ideas.

Basically the theory of courtship that I believe does not exclude 'low-stakes dating'. That means, go ahead and go out for coffee with guys who ask you out on a date. (We call it the acquaintance stage.) It doesn't mean you have just promised to grow old with them. Go out for coffee with multiple guys!

BUT I am still against long-term intense dating relationships with one person... which are not headed towards marriage (preferably sooner than later.) Those seem to play at marriage without the long term commitment, which has so many potential negative consequences.

I think that the 'courtship' that the author refers to is something very different than we understand it, and starts a lot earlier. That's probably why the parents are so heavily involved. My theory is 'If marriage is not something realistic for years to come, don't date yet.'

Of course all this is just theoretical, because India's still caught between arranged marriage and love marriages (which usually seem to follow long-term intense dating relationships), and no one's talking about courtship OR low stakes dating yet.

Leah Libresco writes more about it in her article 'Why is it easier to ask out strangers than friends'.

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Remember how this was supposed to be 'quick' takes? Oops, sorry.

Here's a recipe that I just made, and loved, so I want to make it every day! (But won't because who has time to cook everyday?)

Cauliflower Dum Masala

2 cauliflowers (broken into pieces and par-boiled)
2 pureed onions
2 tsp ginger garlic paste
4 chopped tomatoes
turmeric powder
chilli powder
curd
chopped fresh coriander
sliced boiled eggs
sugar
salt

Fry the onions, ginger garlic paste and spices well, then add the tomato, and then the cauliflower. Mix with curd (seasoned with sugar and salt), and garnish with eggs and corinader.

Yum!

(If only I had taken a picture. Oh well, next time.)

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(Am I only on 6??)

For married couples.. I liked this:

5 Things We are Getting Right in our Marriage

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It was teachers' day in India a few weeks ago. At the programme the kids organized in our tuition room in the slum, one of my twelve year old students read this speech she had written.

Good evening one and all,

Today at teachers day I, Karuna from Std VIIth want to say few words.

First of all I want to wish all the teachers a very happy teachers day. Till now which-ever tuition changed I did not get a tuition and teachers like you all. In my school also there is no teacher like you all who encourages us, appreciate us in little-little things.

As you all know that I am a newcomer in this tution so I wanted to give you this surprise and I hope that you will like it.

You all teachers are the bestest teacher that I have ever seen, who never beat children, who never scold children, the talk polielty with us. I want to say thank you for your all encorages. Once again a Happy Teachers Day to all the teachers. Thank you.

Makes it all worth it, right, teachers?

More quick takes at Jen's.

Oldies But Goodies

I love reading blog posts I wrote in the past, and my old journal entries. Probably something to do with the fact that I have a terrible memory, and I re-read it and have no recollection of having written it. "Ha ha, that really happened? That's hilarious!"

So in case you have a short memory like mine, or if you're newish to this blog, here are some links to some of the most popular blog posts I wrote over the past year.

Well, No. 1 and No. 3 are the ones which I created tabs for at the top of the page-

Why 'Not Very Indian'?

Why 'Keeping It Real'?

But then there's my Christmas time rant which for some reason come up second, maybe because of the words 'Christmas dance' in the title? Even though it's not exactly about Christmas dances? Deceptive packaging.

Are You Going to a Christmas Dance?

All the introverts of the world united in their love for this super-helpful guide for interacting with introverts:

How an Introvert Socializes

And then all the single girls, as well as everyone who thinks romance and marriage are fascinating topics all sat at my feet to hear me expound my views on marriage. That was fun!

A 27 Year Old Atypical Indian Girl's Thoughts on Marriage (The Post You Were Waiting For)

Not really sure why, but a lot of people wanted to hear more about the Myers Brigg personality test, which a  few months ago I was obsessed by.

6 Reasons You Should Do the Myers-Brigg Personality Test

Who read the next one? Everyone with big families, the people who worry about India's population, the people who secretly wish they had more than one sibling and the ones who know my family personally and are fascinated by the fact that we are five siblings.

Small Family = Happy Family... Really?

Then there was the anti Facebook post, which is inspiring me to maybe go back to using Facebook only once a week.

The Mandatory Post Facebook Fast Post

And then apparently everyone wants to do what the deal is with Indians and not hugging. I have cleared up the mystery for the world.

What's In a Hug?

And there's the one I wrote a few days ago, which is not on the most popular list (yet) but needs to get there, because this is a message I want ALL GUYS TO GET.

Guys, Stop Texting Girls! And Other Super Helpful Advice for the 'Good' Guys

Have fun reading! (And let me know if there's any particular topics you'd like me to write about.)

7QT: The I'm Pretty Much Asleep So Here are Some Links Edition

Really. No chit chat. Well, maybe a little. But good links!

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This is my brain on hugs.

Ahh, someone who is even more socially awkward than I am! And soo funny. Yes, I was actually lol!

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New year's resolutions? Here's Pope Francis again!

New Year's resolutions: The Pope Francis list

Always good stuff.

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An mp3 talk that everyone told me would convict me, but I don't easily feel convicted (too complacent), so I was doubtful. And I listened to the first half and I was like "Mm hmm," and I agreed, but was still not convicted, and then I listened to the second half and then BOOM I was convicted AND in tears. What can I say? Listen to it. Unless you really hate being convicted.

Poor Church for the Poor (soundcloud mp3)

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And then speaking of the poor, and convicting, which you're probably tired of, but anyway I've been saving these links to share with you, here's Marc Barnes, (you know, the Baddest Catholic), with

Giving Your Money to Drug Addicts

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Okay, that was heavy. Take a breather and listen to Straight No Chaser with this cute medley that has been making the rounds for years:

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Here's a great Christmas idea from Joseph Prever/Steve Gershom. I think I might actually do it this year.

Thanks

---7---

Here's two books that I haven't real and yet HIGHLY recommend! Even though neither have been published in print yet, and one of them hasn't been published at all... wait have I already talked about this?

Anyway...

which Jennifer Fulwiler has been working on for years, and which all her readers are beyond excited about.

And

even though I'm not married, and unlikely to be using NFP in the forseeable future (although I am a sinner). Just because it's Simcha Fisher. If I'm excited when I see she's put up a new blog post... a whole book? I'd read about archaeology if she was writing. But also, it's NFP, as we know a Catholic hot topic, so yeah, I'm interested.

Here's an interview with her.

Oh, Simcha Fisher just had a miscarriage. Please pray for her.

More Quick Takes at Jen's.

Seven Quick Takes # 16

---1---

I seemed to have gone into overblogging mode in the past week and a half... I mean, five blogs in ten days? That's a lot. Of course, I could say I was making up for the previous three weeks of blogging just once. But really, it was because I got so much feedback, interest and shares from my Marriage post (including a job offer and two offers to be set up with single men), that I began to feel like a Blogging Goddess, who needed to start a Facebook page for the blog, and then churn out blog posts for my adoring audience. You did know that INTJ's tend to arrogance, right? In case I forget, I have my sister to remind me.

---2---

Anyway, I realize that a blog is just a blog. You know, a place for someone with an internet connection and an opinion to spout off. It's okay, life will return to normal this week, because I have so many things going in real life, that blogging will have to take a back seat. But i can't promise I won't blog about them once they're over.

---3---

Blogging a lot is not really difficult for me, because my mind ALWAYS has something to blog about, but I don't always make time to sort out my thoughts and make them pretty and presentable and funny. But when I do, oh, the joy. Jennifer recently wrote about it as a way of de-cluttering her mind. Unfortunately, once I get into hyper-blogging mode, I can't seem to stop. A few nights ago I couldn't sleep because my mind would take every thought and try to turn it into a blog post. I would firmly tell it to shut up, but the next moment I would be at it again.

---4---

I've also been dreaming a lot about my blog posts, including marriage, being set up by my friends, and meeting the love of my life (who turned out to be my first crush). Interspersed with those dreams were other very significant dream themes like the night I sat bolt upright in my bed, freaking out, because the DAMN RHINOCEROS WAS RIPPING THROUGH ALL THE BOOKS IN THE BOOKSHELF. At least I wasn't dreaming about mice, like one of my commenters.

---5---

I've also been obsessing about personality types. Along with my sister, and my room mate. In the middle of a conversation about someone, suddenly I stop, and go, "I..... S..... T or F, do you think? It's hard to know... But definitely J!" I've also started seeing connections between myself and different people. People who I used to think were extremely similar to me tun out be INTJs too. Some people are very similar to me, except for one ofe the four letters, and it's interesting to see how that plays out in our attitudes and personalities.

---6---

I've been refreshed and impressed by the way many of the Catholic bloggers have been responding to Pope Francis' words. They are not just rushing to interpret it according to their own inclination, nor are they dismissing his words as his personal (and not very enlightened) opinion. Plenty of people have taken his words the wrong way- the media and the uber-traditionalists getting together for a change and acting like he just dismissed Catholic moral teaching, and dissed Pope Benedict.

(via catholicmemes.com )

“I remember, when I used go to Germany in the 1980s and ’90s, that I was asked to give interviews and I always knew the questions in advance. They concerned the ordination of women, contraception, abortion and other such constantly recurring problems. If we let ourselves be drawn into these discussions, the Church is then identified with certain commandments or prohibitions; we give the impression that we are moralists with a few somewhat antiquated convictions, and not even a hint of the true greatness of the faith appears. I therefore consider it essential always to highlight the greatness of our faith – a commitment from which we must not allow such situations to divert us. ” – Address of his Holiness Benedict XVI – Thursday, 9 November 2006 #HermeneuticOfContinuity

But many bloggers are humbly listening to what he's really saying, and what he's calling for- a change of focus and a change in our methods. The love and mercy of Jesus first, which open the hearts of people to see that His moral laws are expressions of His love and mercy too.

Here are a few of the articles I liked:
The Mission of Pope Francis S.J. by Michelle Arnold, Catholic Answers
Pope Francis Has Unsettled Me by Matthew Archbold
A Tale of Two Popes by Calah Alexander

---7---

I love how Simcha Fisher pushes the limits. The title of one of her recent blog posts in the National Catholic Register was 'Can We Spell "Evangelization" without an "f" and a "u"?' She's definitely taught me a lot about chilling out and being less uptight. (I still try to watch my language though.) And the article itself is quite the thought-provoker.

Over and out. Drop by Jen's, because you know, she's the hostess.

Did You Know...

... that people who consider themselves faithful Catholics can be seriously nuts? 

Okay, maybe you do already, and you have my sympathy. I was so happy to find thoughtful, funny, balanced orthodox Catholics (orthodox as in faithful to the Magisterium) in the Catholic blogging world (especially Simcha Fisher, Jennifer Fulwiler, etc), that I didn't even realize that there could be another way to approach 'traditional Catholicism'. Then a friend posted an article on Facebook about an Indian Cardinal commenting on the many rapes in India showing the spiritual and moral decline in India, and some person wrote a rambling comment about how back in his day, young people would drop to their knees in the gravel for a priest's blessing, and nowadays girls at Mass are shamelessly holding their cell phone in one hand and their boyfriend's hand in the other, and why are the priests not coming out and slapping their faces and forcing some respect?

Yeah.

I also read the comments on Jimmy Akin's article 'What should we make of Pope Francis bowing when greeting people?', and all I can say is "You people are nuts." There were allegations that Pope Benedict was forced out of office, that Pope Francis' election was invalid, that his secret agenda is the pushing of the 'gay lobby', that spontaneity is a sin, that the Pope should not act humble because HE IS THE POPE, that the Catholic Church is going to the dogs, and much more!

What do I take from this?

Moral of the story: Stay away from Catholic comboxes! And when you're reacting to anything possibly controversial, KEEP CALM AND BE CHARITABLE!

...that a good way to spend an hour or two is on visiting the 'Humans of New York' FB page or website?

Really. It's fascinating to get a glimpse into people's lives and stories. With those beautiful pictures and extracts of conversations that make you think, or laugh, or cry, and mostly empathize, it's totally worth doing.

Moral of the story (?): Everyone has a story, and is worth knowing and loving, even if you can't believe the same things they do. Even if they don't live in New York.

... that Steve Gershom is Simcha Fisher's brother in real life, and his real name is Joseph Prever? 

Well, if you read Catholic blogs at all, it would be very strange if you didn't. And if you don't read Catholic blogs, you're probably like 'Steve who? Simcha who?' It was pretty exciting to me and people like me though... I jumped up and excited told my room mate "Guess what??" and she assumed someone we knew was engaged or dating. It was almost as exciting though. I kept wanting to bring up the news in dinner conversations with my family, but restrained myself since they would be the one saying "Steve who? Simcha who?" I did get to share the news with my good friend and fellow blog-addict, T, over Skype, and was amply rewarded by her squeals of excitement and "No waay!'s.

Anyway, read his Letter to the World. Apart from all the food for thought his blog offers, I was excited to see how much his face looks like the his profile caricature.

And the moral of THAT is: Bloggers can be family too.

And that's all the brilliant blogging I can handle this week.

7QT: The Late Edition

So it's Saturday in India, and actually... Saturday in the US too! So the only reason I'm doing Seven Quick Takes Friday even though I don't really have the time is because I. Need. To. Blog. But that's why they call it quick, right? Right. Okay, here goes.

---1---

Funny search terms by which people weirdos have found my blog:

the world's hottest girlfriend 7qt

Yeah, that's me... although the best description of my relationship is this:

---2---

do indians hug

The answer is No. Never. We only transmit loving thoughts through our folded hands. That's also how we make babies.

Okay, sorry, that actually was not a bad question.

---3---

awkward hug niece

Now if it were just awkward hugs you were asking about, I am the Queen of those. But awkward hug NIECE??? What is that about? Or do I not want to know?

---4---

extremly hot urban indian girl

Well, of course this would be the first blog you would find. If by extremly (sic) hot you meant wearing these

most days, assuming make-up refers to the occasional use of eyeliner, and the preferred hairstyle of choice being a bun with a few tic tac pins stuck in.

---5---

17 inconveniences of indian girls

I don't even know if I can analyze that. Wait, let me try. First of all, it doesn't really make sense in English, so let's assume a non-English speaking Indian typed it in. Maybe a guy, because girls don't ask questions about girls... they just make judgments. Now what could this guy mean by 'inconveniences'? And why 17? 17 ways Indian girls make life inconvenient for their boyfriends? Or maybe it's a girl looking for empathy... 17 ways life is so hard and inconvenient for Indian girls? You pick. Maybe it's the name of a book.

---6---

There were some other funny ones, but for some reason Blogger doesn't let me see the complete history of all the keywords used to find my blog. So I'm starting a StatCounter account.

---7---

And lastly, I leave you with some FUN reading material: Real life Love Stories! My favourite! I know, I know, all I need is a cat and some chocolate and I will be the pathetic old forever single spinster and sitting in front of my laptop screen gobbling up other people's love stories, but whatever, don't judge me. To be honest, I just enjoy the stories, and don't spend the whole time wailing "If only it were meeee!!!"

Grace from Camp Patton put up her own 'How We Met' story, and then invited all her readers to do the same... aaahhh! So exciting! (And it says a lot about how much stuff I have going on that I haven't actually read any of them yet except hers... saving them for a peaceful, non-stressed day off!)

Okay, goodbye. Back to the to-do list.

7QT: The Pretty Quick Edition

Linking to Jen...

---1---

So Jen in her last 'Undiscovered Gems' post sent all her readers to this fantastic blog- Mama Knows, Honeychild. I (and everyone else) took one look, read one and a half post, and added her to my blog reading list with the triumphant whoop that only avid blog readers know about. It's similar to the sound you make while reading a new book that you love, and finding out that the author has written dozens of books and is going to write dozens more. The sketches and the humor are a winning combination.

I wonder what Mama H feels like. She's become a celebrity overnight with all of Jen's thousands (?) of readers heading over to her blog, after the glowing recommendation by the most popular Catholic blogger (ever?). Like Marc Barnes once phrased it, she was 'Jenmentioned'! I suppose it's like your book getting on a bestsellers' list, except that almost all your readers are Catholic, and you're probably not going to make any money out of it. Still, it probably feels pretty good. Well, the flip side is now she's going to struggle with humility. I have very cunningly avoided the need for that with the un-awesomeness of my own blog.

Anyway, my point is, go read her blog if you haven't, because it's awesome!

---2---

Yesterday I mentioned that the Latin Mass had recently been celebrated in my parish (which is exciting and awesome, even though I missed it). Here's a funny extract from a brief report about it. The last paragraph read: '... the traditional Latin Liturgy possesses "much restraint and austerity, an impressive beauty and a generous melody."'

The paragraph JUST before that read 'The mass ended with the Recessional Hymn: 'He's Got the Whole World in His Hands' followed by a thundering round of applause.'

!!!!!!!!!!!!

---3---

This is a recent scary/awesome piece of news from my life: I have recently take over the running of an after school teaching programme in the slums (an outreach of our parish) after the teacher in charge needed to retire because of health problems.

I know nothing about how exactly it's supposed to run, as mentioned before, my Hindi is pathetic, and I have a feeling that a large number of the 30 plus students (see I don't even know how many kids are enrolled) know that I don't know what I'm doing. I know this because some of the ninth graders tried to convince me that I should give them a holiday one day for some obscure festival, and when  I seemed unsure and said I'd ask someone, told me that I was in charge so I could do it. I'm not THAT gullible, kids! Anyway, fear not, there are four other experienced teachers still working there, and plus 'God doesn't call the equipped, but equips the called', right? Right?

---4---

I do enjoy the teaching part of it. I'm fine with English, History, Geography, and lower levels of Science. But yesterday one of the ninth graders showed me an Algebra problem... and I had to admit I had no idea whatsoever about how to go about solving it.

Yay humility!

---5---

A couple of days ago my sister posted this article about extroverts (yes, she's extroverted, and I'm introverted.) I found it interesting, but I thought they got the non-stop talking part totally wrong... I don't think that's specifically an extrovert thing. What do you think? Are you an introvert who can't seem to shut up once she starts talking (like me)?

25 Frustrating Things About Being an Extrovert

---6---

Strangely enough for an introvert, I AM No. 6 from the article... yup, the crazy person below.

Maybe not always, but a lot of people who know me (read: my siblings) , have been embarrassed by me in social settings. But after I make a crazy fool of myself, I get tired of all the peoples, and have to to go hang out with me for a while.

P.S. This is the first time I've ever posted a gif... Oh the wonders of the Internets.

---7---

Okay guys, seriously, 7 takes is too much when you have things to get done. Go have an awesome weekend.

7QT: It's Been Too Long

(Sooo... I started writing these quick takes last Friday, after three weeks away. But then I got busy, and I thought, I'll just write them on Saturday morning, taking advantage of the fact that it would still be Friday in the Texas, where Jennifer hosts Seven Quick Takes. And then... The. Internet. Died. For a week. Some kind of Internet service provider turf wars, according to my dad. It only came back last night. (Cue shocked, but happy tears) So anyway... it's been more than a month since my poor blog got any attention. Anyway, to jump back on the blogging bandwagon, pumparumparum- seven quick takes!)

---1---

Wow, three weeks without blogging is too long. I found myself writing blog posts in my head at random moments... like when I was about to fall asleep after a looong tiring day, or at Adoration, or during my personal prayer time. I guess it has become my way of processing my thoughts. But when blogging replaces prayer, we know we have a problem. Like when instead of going "Lord, here's what happened... what are You saying?", I'm sitting apparently deep in prayer, going 'Blog post title... Why Adoration is Awesome...'

I promise, I'm working on it. Anyway, my life had gotten so busy that I'm not going to have the time to blog as much as I used to, so problem solved. Kind of.

---2---

So last night I dreamed I was at WYD, hanging out in an apartment with Pope Benedict (Pope Francis hadn't happened in my dream) with a bunch of specially chosen youth. I gave him some Indian food to try, and we chatted a good bit. He was very casual and happy to hang out with us. Just at the end of our day with him, I was all like "We need a picture or no one will believe it happened!" but by then he had to be escorted out by his security people, and the moment had passed. Sigh.

In the absence of a photo of me hanging out with Papa Beni, I guess you'll have to make do with this:

Yup, me hanging out with Mother Teresa (well, at her tomb, anyway).

---3---

Speaking of Popes, someone mailed me this awesome quote that Pope Francis said at WYD:

"We need saints without cassocks, without veils.
We need saints with jeans and tennis shoes.
We need saints that go to the movies, that listen to music, that hang out with friends.
We need saints who put God in first place, ahead of succeeding in any career.

We need saints who look for time to pray every day and who know how to be in love with purity, chastity, and all good things.
We need saints, Saints of the 21st century with a spirituality appropriate to our new time.
We need saints that have a commitment to helping the poor and to make the needed social change.
We need saints to live in the world, to sanctify the world and to not be afraid of living in the world by their presence in it.

We need saints that drink Coca-Cola, that eat hot dogs, that surf the internet and that listen to their iPods. 
We need saints that love the Eucharist, that are not afraid or embarrassed to eat a pizza or drink a beer with their friends.
We need saints who love the movies, dance, sports, theater.
We need saints that are open, sociable, normal, happy companions.
We need saints who are in this world and who know how to enjoy the best in this world without being callous or mundane.
We need saints."
–Pope Francis, World Youth Day 2013, Rio

I was so excited to read this very easily relatable and yet ringing with truth quote, that I immediately emailed it to a bunch of friends. I then liked a friend's status that had the same quote, and hit 'Share'... when suddenly I heard the voice of reason shout in my ear: "ALWAYS CHECK YOUR SOURCES!"

So I did. And found this- Did the Pope Really Say That?

In short, Pope Francis didn't say it. He may have quoted it, but it was a poem either attributed to or inspired by Pope John Paul II. I was disappointed. Not because it wasn't an awesome quote. It was a great quote. It made sense, and brought out an important truth- that lay people are called to be saints, that it is possible to be a saint wherever you are, whatever your state of life, and that being a saint can look pretty different from the way most people expect it to look.

But here’s the thing, because it was misattributed to Pope Francis, as soon as you find out that it was not in fact said by him, you start questioning the whole thing. ‘Maybe that’s not how the Church feels. Maybe everything about Pope Francis is a great publicity stunt.’ A little lie can poison the whole truth. Okay, I know I’m making a big deal out of nothing.

Bottom line: As the great Padre Pio said “Check your sources, or risk causing greater harm than good by the quotes you post on the Internet.”

---4---

Okay, that was far from a quick take. Whatever, I've got a month’s worth of blog material bubbling inside me. And not enough time to write a blog a day. Did you hear about Jen's 7 for 7 challenge? I was soo sad that she did it during one of my busiest ever weeks. That sounds exactly like something I would want to be a part of, because a) I love writing, and an excuse to write every day and b) I’m competitive, and only get things done if there’s a little competition or rivalry involved. Someday, though, I will do it.

---5---

Funny Indian news article: The local government’s method of getting tax defaulters to pay their dues? They send a brass band to play outside their home. I’m not even kidding. Apparently either the shame or the noise works.

---6---

I was sosososoexcited to read ‘Style, Sex and Substance: 10 Catholic Women Consider the Things that Really Matter’. All my favourite bloggers wrote different chapters for this book, and it was on my wishlist for a while. Then a dear friend from the US sent it to me a few weeks ago! I read it on the long train journey going to Kolkata, and I loved it! (I did get a few strange glances from fellow-passengers who saw the word ‘Sex’ in the title.) As soon as I finished reading it, my sister, J and my friend, R read it too. Yes, it was a long train journey. I really want to write a review/all my thoughts about it, but I may have to wait for a lull in my life to re-read it, underline things, and write the blog post. Let it suffice to say that I have been making a long list of lucky women who I’m planning to lend it to. And they don’t even know it yet.

---7---

And what do you know? The Internet died again. Well, obviously by the time you read this, it will have returned. But as I write this, I have no idea when that will be. I’m done.

How was the last month, regular readers?

7QT Vol 12: Linkses and Other Things

So I am in the midst of a busy time, and therefore my beloved blog takes a backseat. In fact I won't be posting for the next three weeks, so this all you're getting till the end of July. Enjoy!

---1---

I love me some Jackie and Bobby! Who the heck are Jackie and Bobby, you ask. Jackie is a Catholic speaker and singer-songwriter, and Bobby is her fiance, and I found them through the Lifeteen blog. They have a wedding blog, where they wrote about their love story, and chastity and relationships and waiting and pornography all that good stuff. There's just something about them that I love... maybe because they remind me of me, maybe because I hope to have a romance as sweet as theirs, maybe because they speak my language- faith + intelligence + humour, maybe because we're kind of in the same business. Whatever it is, I'm excited each time they update their blog (which is very rarely).

The Love Story

Jackie and Bobby (the blog)

How to Know You've Found Your True Love (NCR article)

---2---

Everyone seems to have read/heard of Ann Voskamp except me. I have however heard of Katie Davis, and even read the book she wrote- 'Kisses From Katie'. Anyway Ann visited Katie in Uganda, and wrote this beautiful post.

When You’re Done with Pundits, Soul Wrestling & Looking at the Sky: {25 Things I learned from staying with Katie Davis}

These words are ones I'm pondering, and will be for a long time:

"Our actual theology is best expressed in our actual hospitality. And I don’t mean that hospitality is one quaint ministry for those good in the kitchen and keeping their house picked up. Hospitality isn't for the good housekeepers — it’s the grid of life for anyone keeping company with Christ. Hospitality is meant to shape our churches and politics, our work and our schools, our homes and our faith and our schedules and our meals and our lives...

The radical practice of hospitality begins with each child, each knock, each phone call: Every interruption of the day is a manifestation of Christ.

There are no interruptions in a day. There are only manifestations of Christ."

---3---

Do you struggle with being critical about everything? It's not all bad, there IS a silver lining.

The Blessing and Curse of a Critical Mind (ssp*)

---4---

Oh my gosh, I need to go do things! And I have no more links. So last three random quick takes. (Yes, this counts as one.)

---5---

Something I'm thinking about: I believe that joy is supposed to be a normal part of the Christian life. Then why am I so often not joyful? I have a very blessed life, and no real reason to be down about anything- work that I love, people that I love, a home, a sufficiently comfortable life, dreams that I'm working toward... and yet I so often am tense and anxious. I think for me there are two main reasons: negativity (the downside of the aforementioned critical mind) and very connected, fear (how can I be happy when they are so many possibly scary things that could happen at any moment?). Something to bring to the Lord.

---6---

In the Ann Voskamp article I linked to above, she says "The answer to everything is relationship." I believe her. That's it. Love = Relationship, and only love matters. Yet, every now and again, I long for a relationship-free life, where I sit with my laptop, writing, editing newsletters, and reading blogs, and never leaving the house. The introvert rears her head. But I KNOW in the long run, no matter how much I long for that right now, a relationship-free life would not satisfy me, nor make me the person I believe I was called to be. Still, I'm grateful for the times when people ask me to serve BY sitting in front of a laptop creating newsletters.

---7---

The reason I'm not going to be online for the next few weeks is because I'm going on a trip to volunteer with the Missionaries of Charity in Kolkata (my second time). Super long train journey ahead- perfect opportunity to catch up on reading! See you on the other side!

Go to Jen's for quick takes from other bloggers.

*Shameless self-promotion

Seven Quick Takes VII: Linkses!

So I'm in the middle of another crazy couple of weeks with too many things to do, too little attention to do them with, and that panicky feeling that a deadline is gonna jump out of nowhere and hit me over the head with something.

To maximize my limited attention, I'm going to leave you with a bunch of links to interesting articles and blog posts. You're welcome.

---1---

How to Become an Annoying  Catholic (In Eight Easy Steps)

If you were paying attention last week, you’ll recall from my newsy little post on Friday, that Pope Francis has charged Catholics with asking the Holy Spirit for “the grace to be annoying.” His words. Not mine.

I know what you’re thinking: Easy, peazy lemon squeazy, right? Not right. Admittedly, that was my first reaction too. “Yes!” I thought. “Finally a grace that comes naturally to me. I don’t even have to pray for this one.”

I love easy to read posts like this with plenty of Catholic memes, and enough actual practical food for thought.  (Also, interesting fact: #3 is kind of why I wore a nose ring for the past ten years.)

---2---

The Ramblings of Crazy Face

I love this blog because it is a big slice of the authenticity I keep talking about. This is real life, broken, messy, confusing, hard... and into this mess comes the healing grace of God. If you're not drowning, why do you need a Saviour? Leticia is a far from typical Catholic blogger, and that makes her story that much more interesting.

---3---

The Catholic's response to homosexuality is really confusing. Love the sinner, hate the sin. Treat people who struggle with same sex attraction with 'respect, compassion, and sensitivity'. But we cannot support or approve homosexual relationships as a normal or healthy way of life, because we believe that isn't God's plan for men and women. We also have the same belief about divorce, premarital sex and live-in relationships- that they go against God's plan for us, and do not allow us to be truly happy and fulfilled.

But we don't contest the existence of civil divorce. So why do we oppose 'gay marriage'. which is essentially a civil union? Now that gay marriage is in the news a lot, we have to figure out what we're saying, and why.

Marc Barnes from Bad Catholic writes a thought-provoking post about this:

The Difficulty With Engaging Gay Marriage

---4---

Speaking of homosexuality (which seems unavoidable in this day and age), here's someone who has helped shaped many Catholics' perspective on the gay debate- Steve Gershom, who struggles with same-sex attraction, but is also convinced about the truth of Church's teaching of homosexuality. He writes honestly about his struggles, and he also calls us all to learn how to accept each other's weaknesses and brokenness, and to open our hearts to them.

Hearts of Flesh

That’s our job, as Christians: to live in such a way that our friends will know, as Jesus’ friends must have known, that nothing could make us run away from them. Since my friends are good men and women, there’s always somebody I can go to when things get heavy. There’s always ten somebodies. They help me bear my burdens and I help them bear theirs; and, having shared burdens, we are better able to share joys.

---5---

I love to think and talk about emotional chastity, because it is something so relevant to most women. What always surprises me is that so few Catholic women talk about this danger. It's considered normal to go through one desperate crush after another, (which I regularly did when I was younger) and it's like we had no idea that it was even possible to 'guard our hearts'.

Stephanie Calis shares an honest (you notice how this is a recurring theme on my blog?), funny, and wise take on infatuation, sentimentality and the emotional aspect of chastity.

Chastity is more than physical

At the weekly prayer group we were both part of, each person would state their intentions before we prayed the Rosary together. "I'd like," he said, "to pray for my girlfriend." Slam. There went my heart. Somehow I made it through the next hour, then promptly left in search of a place to empty my dangerously full tear ducts. My college is over 200 years old, founded by a priest and featuring four chapels. All of them were occupied. After half a frustrated hour of trying to find somewhere empty, I settled on the back pew of the main chapel, where a grief group was meeting far away from me, up front (maybe I should've joined them?).

---6---

Warning: Shameless self-promotion ahead

Are you an introvert? Do you have friends and family who just. don't. get. it? Send them some guidelines to get how to relate to you, and avoid all (okay, a lot of) the frustration of the typical introvert-extrovert relationship.

How an Introvert Socializes

---7---

And this is just for laughs... or uncontrollable giggles. Even though the last time I watched The Matrix was probably eight  years ago, this was hilarious.

Okay, I'm done. Back to Real Work. And oh yeah, go to Jen's.