On Being a Bookworm

Cousins and siblings and me

My four siblings and I grew up without cable TV, and with our noses in books at every possible moment - when we were supposed to be studying (hidden behind our study books of course, or smuggled into the bathroom for long 'bathroom breaks'), during family holidays in Panchgani, during class in school (did our teachers know and just ignore it as not worth caring about?), during our larger family parties where no one would notice one or two grandchildren missing (of course one carries a storybook to parties), and so on.

My parents never had to figure out what to give us for Christmas and birthdays, we were usually into one particular series of Enid Blytons and were perfectly satisfied to receive another book to add to the collection (not to mention, as soon as we finished our own books, we would exchange with our siblings).

My parents were bookworms themselves, and most afternoon rest time and late nights before bed, they would pick up their current book and read a few more pages. They had much more discipline than the rest of us though, who would usually not stop reading until we finished our book, even if it meant reading by torchlight or cell phone light so we wouldn't get in trouble if my parents saw the light on in the early hours of the morning.

Yes, I had a book at a picnic

I am currently rereading Little Women in anticipation of the movie coming out in a few weeks. As I read, I am reminded of how the books we read and grow up reading form us and become a part of us. The characters in Little Women not only seem like old friends I know well, but as I read about Meg's efforts at homemaking, I was reminded that keeping a home clean and beautiful is a worthwhile gift to give my family (well, my husband at the moment), and I actually left my book to go and complete my many half-done household chores. As I read about Jo going 'into a vortex', as she started writing her stories, I remembered my dear blog and the joy I get out of my scribbles, and out of sharing them with others.

I have often bemoaned my (lack of an) education in convent school - I feel like I wasted many years of my life parroting facts, daydreaming and learning how to be invisible. What I should  have been doing was discovering the world, how big and interesting it was, and how fascinating learning could be. But what I missed out in school, I gained through my storybooks. I learned about the world through those books, I learned what history felt like through fiction and non-fiction set in different times and places and ages. For the general knowledge I have now, the familiarity with different cultures, the vocabulary and the writing skill I possess, I credit the books I voraciously consumed through my life.

Of course I chose 'Books' as my topic for Topic Week during my teacher's training course

But I have also come to the conclusion that being a bookworm is not a permanent identity, and it can (and has) been easily stolen by the temptations of the Internet. I have not been a bookworm for several years now, choosing instead to consume the written word on Facebook and Twitter. What a waste of time most of that has been. I recently asked a friend to change my Twitter password, and my new year's resolution has been to read more books, which has been happening aided by spotty Internet (a mixed blessing). If I want to grow and learn, I have to give up something to get something. If I want my kids to love to read as I did, they'd better not see me stuck to my phone.

I have also realized that not all books are worth consuming, and that I need to be a little picky about how I spend my reading time. When I was young I consumed every book I could get my hands on. I must have read every book I found in my home (we had a big bookshelf filled with books), not just the children's books. In the process, I came across some thrillers with graphic violent and sexual scenes that scarred my mind. It's hard to remove mental pictures once you see them. I also spent a few years reading sexually explicit romance novels, a sinful habit that was addictive and hard to break but thanks be to God was finally able to. I wish I had never come across some of those books, and will do my best to make sure I read every book in my house because if my kids are anything like me, they will have the same struggles.

The solution is not to ban books, but to fill your home with good books, books worth reading, books that inform and enlighten and illuminate, books that lift you up out of yourself, or give you a glimpse of the good, the true and the beautiful, books that make you want to fight injustice and be a better person and love and live without fear.

Reading one of The Chronicles of Narnia to my nieces a few years ago

I also wish I had been exposed to more Indian authors and storybooks, because my knowledge of my own country is lacking. I know more about life in Nazi Germany than I know about the Indian freedom struggle. I wish there were more easily available and readable books about the normal lives of different types of Indians of different times. It is such a diverse country, and there is so much to learn. I feel like I've learned more about lives of Indians by following Humans of Bombay than I have in years of reading books. I'm sure there are more books, I just have to be more intentional about seeking them out and buying them. Reading Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie was quite the eye-opener.

As a teenager and as an adult, the Catholic and Christian books I read formed my conscience, my imagination and my desires, and slowly helped me set my mind on higher things. Books like The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom, The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne, He and I by Gabrielle Bossis, Searching for and Maintaining Peace by Fr. Jacques Philippe, and even The Chronicles of Narnia were very formative. Little Women and books by Mrs. George de Horne Vaizey (what a mouthful) had Christian worldviews, and while perhaps they were not always subtle, they were effective in making me want to be holy, to be less selfish, to be better.

I wish we had more well-stocked public libraries. I visited a beautiful one in Panjim, Goa. I still hope one day to start a library that makes good books accessible to underprivileged children. But I also wish educated and privileged parents would invest in story books for their children. Reading doesn't seem to be a popular pastime in India. Another dream I have is to be a professional storyteller who goes to different schools and groups and tells stories and gets kids excited about books. I did that during the one year I taught in a village school, and all my children loved reading by the end of the year.

One dream at a time. I'll start with me, and try to return to the world of books this year.

What good books have you read lately? Do you read as much as you'd like to?

My class in the village school, with the 'library corner' far left

Six Good Reasons to Consider Becoming a Patron in 2018

Most of you know I started a Patreon page last year. Patreon is a membership platform that makes it easy for artists and creators to get paid. The idea is that creators of all kinds - artists, writers, musicians, bloggers, podcasters, etc - are often churning out content, but don't always find ways to make it pay. That's where Patrons comes in! Patrons are people who love what the artist creates, and are willing to donate a small amount every month to support the creator of their choice.

So why should you consider becoming a Patron?

1. Get the weekly behind-the-scenes audios and videos: Only for my community of Patrons ... usually everyone gets to to view all the content I create but I realized Patrons might need a little extra thank you for their support. So I'm going to record some of the not-too-polished but funny or ridiculous or thought-provoking or awkward moments from the week, and share them with you guys! Enjoy the awkwardness!


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2. Read the first ebook I've ever created: How hard can that be to create, right? There's a lot of great posts from the past I wanted to unearth, and bring to you, without you having to dig through the archives. Not only that, I found some stuff I wrote that I had never published (including a short romantic story, thank you for the inspiration, Women's Weekly from the 70s!), and some stuff from my blogs before 2013, so all that is going to make it to the ebook, once again ONLY for Patrons.


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3. It's a tiny amount of money: What's a dollar a month.. or a hundred rupees per month? The cost of a chocolate bar, or a couple of bags of chips? You can afford that! (If you can't and you really want the ebook, email me and let me know! I'll send it to you!) Patreon works when a large number of people are willing to put a little money towards a creator.


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4. You're bringing GOOD art to the world: There is so much of crappy stuff out there, all razzmattazz (what a GREAT word!) and no substance.


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Isn't it great when you have good content to share with your friends? I often discover some great content like the Abiding Together podcast, and I just can't help sharing practically every episode I listen to with all the people I know would be blessed by it. But to have good content to share, someone needs to help creators create!

5. Christmas Cards in Your Post Box: Doesn't everyone secretly hope they will get some snail mail and homemade Christmas cards? Or is it just me? Oh well, for my $5 or Rs 300 and above Patrons, I will make and mail personalized Christmas cards. Yes indeed, Christmas is coming! Woo hoo!


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6. And of course the MAIN reason you should become a Patron.. and this one is simply irresistible, darlings....

THIS VIDEO!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Any more questions? No, I didn't think so.

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Shoot me an email at solosenilejive@gmail.com if you're in India, or look up my Patreon page if you are outside India to become a Patron. Rewards start going out on November 14, 2018, so make sure you sign up before that!

P.S. In case you missed it, here is last year's post and video: Five Good Reasons to Consider Becoming a Patron

The Slow Crawl To Excellence

Every now and again I read an old blog post that I wrote and cause my sister and mom to roll their eyes as I exclaim, “Wow, this was great writing! I feel so inspired!” Or I start giggling all over again as I read a funny blog post that I wrote. Yeah, humility is my middle name.

But a couple of days ago I started to dig a little further into the past. I was looking for any good writing I had done for an ebook I am thinking of putting together. I unearthed the first blog that I started back when I was 20 years old. It was called ‘One of Five’. I went through the four years of posts that I had written in my early 20s and I was utterly humiliated. Good grief! Was that me? So clichéd, so immature, so nondescript. So embarrassing.

Maybe my next blog was better? I wrote for three years when I first became a Catholic volunteer and lived abroad. I was 24 when I started it. But no. Most of that was pretty painful to read as well. My writing revealed my unsureness, my lack of confidence in my own voice and even thoughts. They were largely about my faith, and yet they were lacking in substance. Those posts stuck to the most obvious of my beliefs, and didn’t explore nuances, didn’t seem to challenge me or anyone else.

I knew my writing was not good enough. When you read a lot, it’s easy to differentiate good writing from bad writing (for example, read Pride and Prejudice, and then read a cheesy free Christian romance novel. Yeesh.) But it’s a lot harder to create good writing.

I started my third blog in 2013. I was 27 years old. I knew that I wanted to write differently and better and realer. But also, I had changed, I had grown, and I had found my voice. I was sure about some things and not as worried about having things that I was still working out. And over the next five years, I began to slowly write better. Less links and more real writing.

A few years ago I realized that writing is one of my charisms. A charism is not just a talent, or a skill, but ‘graces that pass through you and me – with our cooperation – to convey God’s truth, beauty, provision, healing, and mercy to someone else’. I don’t have a very big audience (comparatively), but I often heard back from people that something I wrote drew them closer to God. Very often I would go back and look at that blog post, and it seemed as if I didn’t remember exactly how I put those particular strings of words or thoughts together. It seemed like more was coming out than I was putting in.

But I have come to believe that a charism or even just a skill or a talent doesn’t come out perfect the first time. It must be developed. It must grow and mature and be sharpened (or sometimes softened). I know I have a long way to go to reach excellence in writing. I only blog at the moment, which is a very chatty and informal style of writing. But there are so many other ways to write that I have barely touched. I have never even done a writing class. But I have my life ahead of me, and I’m happy that I have started this journey.

These are some of the things that I think have helped me reach where I am:

1. A lot of reading of GOOD writing: As a blogger, I realize I have picked up all these little tricks and styles from other blogs and authors that I have read extensively over the past 12 years. Somehow while I feel I am sometimes a weird mixture of Jennifer Fulwiler, Simcha Fisher, Camp Patton and Dave Barry, perhaps with a splash of Mama Knows, Honeychild, I am still me. But it’s not just blogs. If I had been reading only cheap romance novels or thrillers from the time I was young, I highly doubt that I would be writing particularly well. But thankfully I have been exposed to many, many talented authors, and delightful books, a wide vocabulary, subtle characters, and well-woven plots, and all that has subconsciously given me a foundation upon which to build.

2. A lot of bad writing: Embarrassing as it was to read my poor attempts at writing through the years, I probably would never have reached a place where I actually like to reread what I’ve written if I hadn’t gone through the bad years. Just like going through awkward social situations when you are a teenager eventually helps you become a self-possessed adult, you just have to get through the bad to get to the good. There are no short cuts. You don’t ever pull out a pen… I mean, open a Word document... for the first time and create a captivating bestseller.

3. Regular writing: Especially after starting my Patreon page and committing to write four posts every month, I’ve found that I have gotten better. Apparently in order to be a writer, you just have to write! My mum used to say that to me when I was a kid – “If you want to be an artist, you just have to pull out a pencil, look at something, and start sketching!” I can’t write just every once in a while and hope to get better at writing, which is I think how I thought it would work with my first two blogs.

4. Live life and write from the real life that you live: When I was in my early 20s I remember saying, “I want to write a book. But you’re supposed to write what you know. And I don’t know anything. I haven’t been anywhere or done anything or lived outside my bubble. So I think I need to live life before trying to write about it.” I have done a lot more living over the past 12 years (and I have a lot more to do), but my best writing comes from the life I live. I don’t ever want to stop living life and just write, because I would have nothing to write about.

5. Write what you want to read: If I write something, look at it and say “Boring!’, I usually just delete it. Or rewrite it better. I have a short enough attention span that I won’t bother reading something that isn’t snappy enough. I skip over nature descriptions in books. My eyes are drawn to dialogue, to words and thoughts that are unexpected, engaging. So I try to write what I like to read. If I find it boring, why would I expect anyone else to find it interesting? I write about topics that haven’t been written about a zillion times. Or at least I try.

6. Say a prayer: I usually shoot a quick ‘Come, Holy Spirit’ before I write. Whether it’s a comic sketch about scary insects, or a serious post about anxiety or negativity, it can all be inspired by the Holy Spirit. I once wrote ‘People are Disappointing’ after not having any idea what to write about, sitting in front of my open laptop, and saying a prayer. It wasn’t one of those catchy posts about romance or marriage. ‘Hopefully someone will read it,” I thought. I knew titles usually need to be a little catchier. Few people liked or commented. But a few days later, an old friend (and patron) messaged me to tell me that it was exactly what she needed to read and that God was speaking to her directly through that post. So I’ve been a little more committed to that prayer-before-writing since then.

Well, that’s all I have for today. If you feel called to write, start writing! It may take a while, but you have something to say that the world needs to hear. It may be another creative venture like art or Youtube videos or song-writing or podcasting. Pray about it, and move forward! Be not afraid!

Recommended Reading 

Charisms FAQ

Bearing Fruit by Living Your Charism

How to Begin Dreaming [Abiding Together podcast]