Anyone who knows me in person or reads my blog knows how much I love personality type indicators. I am infamous for analyzing people’s Myers-Briggs personality types as my preferred form of small talk at parties. (The only person who won’t let me categorize him is my boyfriend.) But I have moved a step beyond MBTI, temperaments, and all those mainstream categories. Try out my new and improved personality types:
Good Morning Messengers vs Whatsapp Group Leavers
Good Morning Messengers are the people who just want to spread some love and cheer with a charming picture of flowers or a puppy with melting eyes and a kindly ‘Good morning, friends’ or an inspirational quote. They are touched by receiving such messages. They want to sprinkle this love and positivity in every Whatsapp group they are a part of. They cannot understand anyone who is not like them. “Why would you object to such an innocuous and friendly gesture? Don’t you like inspiration? What is wrong with you?’
Whatsapp Group Leavers are the people who are tempted to throw their phone out of the window if they receive ANOTHER GOOD MORNING MESSAGE on a Whatsapp group or as a broadcast message. As they would lose too much money in phone repairs, they opt instead to quietly stalk out of the Whatsapp group when the Good Morning messages or inspirational forwards bring their blood to boiling temperature. Occasionally they send terse messages (especially if they are admins) saying ‘Hi, please refrain from sending messages unrelated to the purpose of this group. Thank you.’ Or they message the people who send broadcast messages saying ‘Hi, please remove me from your broadcast message list. Thanks.’ Note the forced politeness of the ‘Thanks’ at the end. Some of them have a permanent Whatsapp ‘About me’ that reads ‘No forwards please’. It says everything you need to know that that is their ABOUT ME.
Cats vs Dogs
It is very easy to differentiate Cats and Dogs after a few interactions with most human beings. My friends thought I was randomly assigning labels to people until I proved there was a pattern by asking my sister to do it with me, and we agreed on every person’s personality type. So here’s the Cat and Dog personality type decoded.
Dogs are affectionate, emotionally available, empathetic givers. They love to hang out with people, would rather agree with people than disagree with them, and are enthusiastic about most things. Dogs will run up to you and give you a hug and a kiss. The downside of being a dog is that sometimes dogs can be needy, and feel lonely or neglected easily.
Cats do their own thing. They often disappear from social occasions either physically or mentally. They are reserved, and not as easy to please. They are perfectly happy on their own, and rarely worry about what others think of them or their choices. They are sometime emotionally unavailable. Cats can be pretty judgy. However if you give cats their space, they will come to you on their own, and there is nothing more satisfying than a cat’s affection because you know they are very picky, so a cat rubbing against you and purring is quite a mark of approval. Also cats may not admit this, but they secretly really like receiving affection even though they may not ask for it.
The Fly-by-the-Seat-of-their-Pants vs The Add-Fifteen-Minutes
Try making a plan with another human being and you will easily find out which category they fit into. The Fly-by-the-Seat-of-their-Pants will vaguely calculate the amount of time they need to get somewhere assuming all conditions are fine, and they plan to leave with exactly that much time to spare. But then when it’s time to leave, you see them chatting away cheerfully, or waltzing around the house grabbing earrings and shoes and putting on make-up (obviously I know more female FBTSOTPs). They will always be late, or perhaps exactly on time, and some of their friends start secretly planning to tell them a time half an hour earlier than everyone else, or to sneak into their house and change all their clocks and cell phone timings.
The Add-Fifteen-Minutes after obsessively checking the address and the time, calculate how much time they will need to get somewhere in the worse possible conditions (‘Let’s assume there’s going to be a terrible traffic accident which will block all the roads, plus the traffic lights go off, plus the cops pull me over to check my license, plus I was told the wrong address ’) and THEN they add another fifteen minutes just in case. The AFMs are usually standing at the door staring at their watch and getting stressed out when the FBTSOTPs are doing their last-minute dance. AFMs are usually early or on time to most events, but they live their life slightly more stressed out than their counterparts, who always optimistically believe everything is going to work out so they reach in time, even though it rarely works out that way.
The Ironers vs The Creases-Happen
The Ironers iron everything. They usually need an extra 30 minutes to prepare to leave for any event because it takes them that much time to iron all their clothes perfectly. It pains them to see people wearing slightly creased clothes. If creases appear in their previously-ironed clothes, they are quite likely to take it off and iron it all over again. To the bemusement of non-Ironers, these guys iron their bed sheets, their underwear and their socks.
The Creases-Happen folk are far more chilled out about ironing. They may or may not know where the iron in the house is located. They consider ironing clothes an extra special task one does for special occasions like weddings. When the creases in their clothes are pointed out to them, they shrug and say ‘Creases happen.’ Their theory is that no matter whether one irons or not, life will add creases to their clothes, so why bother ironing? Occasionally, if feeling pressured to iron, they may try to iron clothes while still wearing them (not advised).
The Night Dishwashers vs The Chatters
You will find out where you lie only at the end of a party. The Night Dishwashers start washing dishes even before the guests start leaving. They are agonizingly aware of all the dishes piling up as people socialize and keep eating and discarding dirty plates and glasses. As the party draws to a close, the mountains of dishes draw them in. No matter how tired they are, they consider it the unforgivable sin to leave it till the next morning.
Meanwhile The Chatters are living in the moment. They see not the dishes but the people, and they will keep the party going and the guests entertained until the last moment. And THEN they sit down and put their legs up and chat about how the party went. They cannot understand why The Night Dishwashers are so obsessed with the dishes. “Why not leave them till the morning?” It is the question that divides them, an impassable chasm. The Chatters’ deepest desire is for The Night Dishwashers to just sit down and rest and hang out with them. The Night Dishwashers’ deepest desire is for The Chatters to offer to help to do the dishes and clean up all the messes. Mary and Martha had Jesus to sort them out, but you guys better get that communication on if you are living in the same house.
So there you go. I hope you found these personality types helpful in figuring out who you are, and why everyone finds you so annoying. You’re welcome.
Related Posts
A Melancholic Searches for Joy
6 Reasons You Should Do the Myers-Brigg Personality Test
How Sue Classifies Myers-Briggs Personality Types
Good Morning Messengers vs Whatsapp Group Leavers
Good Morning Messengers are the people who just want to spread some love and cheer with a charming picture of flowers or a puppy with melting eyes and a kindly ‘Good morning, friends’ or an inspirational quote. They are touched by receiving such messages. They want to sprinkle this love and positivity in every Whatsapp group they are a part of. They cannot understand anyone who is not like them. “Why would you object to such an innocuous and friendly gesture? Don’t you like inspiration? What is wrong with you?’
Whatsapp Group Leavers are the people who are tempted to throw their phone out of the window if they receive ANOTHER GOOD MORNING MESSAGE on a Whatsapp group or as a broadcast message. As they would lose too much money in phone repairs, they opt instead to quietly stalk out of the Whatsapp group when the Good Morning messages or inspirational forwards bring their blood to boiling temperature. Occasionally they send terse messages (especially if they are admins) saying ‘Hi, please refrain from sending messages unrelated to the purpose of this group. Thank you.’ Or they message the people who send broadcast messages saying ‘Hi, please remove me from your broadcast message list. Thanks.’ Note the forced politeness of the ‘Thanks’ at the end. Some of them have a permanent Whatsapp ‘About me’ that reads ‘No forwards please’. It says everything you need to know that that is their ABOUT ME.
Cats vs Dogs
It is very easy to differentiate Cats and Dogs after a few interactions with most human beings. My friends thought I was randomly assigning labels to people until I proved there was a pattern by asking my sister to do it with me, and we agreed on every person’s personality type. So here’s the Cat and Dog personality type decoded.
Dogs are affectionate, emotionally available, empathetic givers. They love to hang out with people, would rather agree with people than disagree with them, and are enthusiastic about most things. Dogs will run up to you and give you a hug and a kiss. The downside of being a dog is that sometimes dogs can be needy, and feel lonely or neglected easily.
Cats do their own thing. They often disappear from social occasions either physically or mentally. They are reserved, and not as easy to please. They are perfectly happy on their own, and rarely worry about what others think of them or their choices. They are sometime emotionally unavailable. Cats can be pretty judgy. However if you give cats their space, they will come to you on their own, and there is nothing more satisfying than a cat’s affection because you know they are very picky, so a cat rubbing against you and purring is quite a mark of approval. Also cats may not admit this, but they secretly really like receiving affection even though they may not ask for it.
The Fly-by-the-Seat-of-their-Pants vs The Add-Fifteen-Minutes
Try making a plan with another human being and you will easily find out which category they fit into. The Fly-by-the-Seat-of-their-Pants will vaguely calculate the amount of time they need to get somewhere assuming all conditions are fine, and they plan to leave with exactly that much time to spare. But then when it’s time to leave, you see them chatting away cheerfully, or waltzing around the house grabbing earrings and shoes and putting on make-up (obviously I know more female FBTSOTPs). They will always be late, or perhaps exactly on time, and some of their friends start secretly planning to tell them a time half an hour earlier than everyone else, or to sneak into their house and change all their clocks and cell phone timings.
The Add-Fifteen-Minutes after obsessively checking the address and the time, calculate how much time they will need to get somewhere in the worse possible conditions (‘Let’s assume there’s going to be a terrible traffic accident which will block all the roads, plus the traffic lights go off, plus the cops pull me over to check my license, plus I was told the wrong address ’) and THEN they add another fifteen minutes just in case. The AFMs are usually standing at the door staring at their watch and getting stressed out when the FBTSOTPs are doing their last-minute dance. AFMs are usually early or on time to most events, but they live their life slightly more stressed out than their counterparts, who always optimistically believe everything is going to work out so they reach in time, even though it rarely works out that way.
The Ironers vs The Creases-Happen
The Ironers iron everything. They usually need an extra 30 minutes to prepare to leave for any event because it takes them that much time to iron all their clothes perfectly. It pains them to see people wearing slightly creased clothes. If creases appear in their previously-ironed clothes, they are quite likely to take it off and iron it all over again. To the bemusement of non-Ironers, these guys iron their bed sheets, their underwear and their socks.
The Creases-Happen folk are far more chilled out about ironing. They may or may not know where the iron in the house is located. They consider ironing clothes an extra special task one does for special occasions like weddings. When the creases in their clothes are pointed out to them, they shrug and say ‘Creases happen.’ Their theory is that no matter whether one irons or not, life will add creases to their clothes, so why bother ironing? Occasionally, if feeling pressured to iron, they may try to iron clothes while still wearing them (not advised).
You will find out where you lie only at the end of a party. The Night Dishwashers start washing dishes even before the guests start leaving. They are agonizingly aware of all the dishes piling up as people socialize and keep eating and discarding dirty plates and glasses. As the party draws to a close, the mountains of dishes draw them in. No matter how tired they are, they consider it the unforgivable sin to leave it till the next morning.
Meanwhile The Chatters are living in the moment. They see not the dishes but the people, and they will keep the party going and the guests entertained until the last moment. And THEN they sit down and put their legs up and chat about how the party went. They cannot understand why The Night Dishwashers are so obsessed with the dishes. “Why not leave them till the morning?” It is the question that divides them, an impassable chasm. The Chatters’ deepest desire is for The Night Dishwashers to just sit down and rest and hang out with them. The Night Dishwashers’ deepest desire is for The Chatters to offer to help to do the dishes and clean up all the messes. Mary and Martha had Jesus to sort them out, but you guys better get that communication on if you are living in the same house.
So there you go. I hope you found these personality types helpful in figuring out who you are, and why everyone finds you so annoying. You’re welcome.
Related Posts
A Melancholic Searches for Joy
6 Reasons You Should Do the Myers-Brigg Personality Test
How Sue Classifies Myers-Briggs Personality Types
Hilarious and absolutely accurate.
ReplyDeleteA very interesting way to see people ! I am a fan of MBTI ;)
ReplyDelete😂😂 Sooo funny!.. And true
ReplyDelete