What’s Wrong with Catholic Youth Groups

Pope Saint John Paul II long before he was a pope (lying down, third from left), during a camping and hiking trip with some of his students from the Catholic University 

I know, I know, Sue being critical about yet another aspect of her life and the Church. But I tear down only to build up! We can’t change if we think we’re doing fine the way we are.

First of all, here are some observations about most Catholic youth groups I’ve come across or been involved with-

1. Most youth group members disappear from anything Church-related once they start working or get married. Many eventually identify as agnostic or atheist.

2. Most think of prayer and spiritual activities as boring and to be avoided. You will rarely see a youth group member at a weekday Mass or in the Adoration chapel.

3. The lifestyle of most youth group members doesn’t seem particularly different from their non-Christian peers – in the way they spend their leisure time and resources, in their mode of dressing or relationships, in their consumption of media, in their abuse of alcohol, and most likely in their sins.

4. If you were to ask most youth group members what they believe and why, you are quite likely to find either a shallow pluralistic ‘let’s all get along’ perspective which has little to do with Jesus or the teachings of His Church, or a blind faith and loyalty to cultural religious traditions without a strong reason or understanding of the ‘why’.

5. Almost no vocations to the priesthood, religious or missionary life are coming out of our Catholic youth groups.

So what’s going on? What is wrong with Catholic youth groups? What are we missing? And how can we change?

1. I think the biggest problem is that we have the wrong goal. We’re running hard, but in the wrong direction. It seems as if the goal of youth groups is just to get young Catholic ‘involved in the parish’. They are seen as a resource, a labour force to help out with various activities of the parish, or to organize events and activities, which look good in a report at the end of the year. This is not just a youth group problem. I think it’s a general Catholic parish problem - our highest goal is to have ‘active parishioners’. Unfortunately you can have swarms of active parishioners, and active, energetic youth members, and you can still have people who do not reflect Christ in their lives.

Another false goal I have heard is – “We are looking at the all-round development of the youth – physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. So we have activities and events and workshops to help with all these issues. Prayer is not the only thing we do.” How is a Catholic youth group different from some Rotary club or generic secular group? Just that we say a prayer at the beginning, if that?

2. We think of youth groups in terms of a yearly schedule of activities and events. This is such a natural default position. And of course, a schedule is necessary. Events have to be planned beforehand. But the problem comes in when the event and schedule becomes the focus, the inflexible god before which everyone must bow. Or the events that we do one year are by default what we do every year, without asking if they are fulfilling the main aim of the youth group. We often have the wrong focus.

3. Youth group is limited to a weekly meeting. The seminarian or priest usually meets with a youth group once a week. Of course you have to have regular meetings. But meeting for a couple of hours once a week is not going to bring lasting change or deeper formation to young people.

So what IS the goal of a Catholic youth group? What SHOULD our focus be? And how can we achieve that goal? The primary goal of a Catholic youth group should be the aim of every Catholic group, organization, community and parish – TO FORM DISCIPLES.

But of course different people have different ideas of what a disciple is, so let’s be more specific.

We should be forming young people to know Christ in an intimate, personal way, and to re-orient their lives so that they reflect HIS truth, love and priorities. 

What would young disciples look like?

• Their lives would shine with the joy of Christ, because they have found the One who loves them fully. 
• They would be praying every day, would jump at the chance to spend time with Jesus in the chapel, and often show up to daily Mass. 
• They would be familiar with the Word of God, and read it every day. 
• They would be quick to serve the poor, and take the initiative in coming up with new ways to do so. 
• They would be able to share how Jesus has been changing their lives, and why they believe what they believe. 
• They would be eager to share Jesus with those who don’t know Him, and they would be open and welcoming to people who are different from them. 
• They would engage their intellect too in understanding how Jesus speaks through the Church, and would be willing to research and explain these truths to those who question them. 
• They would actively seek God’s will for their vocations, careers and life partners, rather than going with the flow. 
• They would take their struggles with sin to the Lord and frequent the sacrament of Confession.

How many of us can say that about the youth we know from our youth groups? Ah, you say, Sue, you are living in a fantasy world. Youth are youth, and you have overly high expectations. Youth are always shallow, pleasure-oriented and the best we can hope is that they show up, ‘get involved’, and then continue to be ‘active parishioners’ later in life, once they’ve had their fun.

Nonsense! Pope John Paul II believed in young people and so do I!

“Dear young people, it is Jesus that you seek when you dream of happiness; He is waiting for you when nothing else you find satisfies you; He is the beauty to which you are so attracted; it is He who provoked you with that thirst for fullness that will not let you settle for compromise; it is He who urges you to shed the masks of a false life; it is He who reads in your hearts your most genuine choices, the choices that others try to stifle.”
“There is no place for selfishness and no place for fear! Do not be afraid, then, when love makes demands. Do not be afraid when love requires sacrifice” 

Also, I KNOW many young people who ARE disciples. However, most of them have are not the product of parish youth groups, they received their formation in other places. Most of our young people only receive their formation in the parish youth group.

So. What are some practical ways to form disciples in our youth groups?

1. Leaders must be disciples: The priest or seminarian leading the youth group need to be disciples themselves first. Not just social workers, inspirational speakers, ‘one of the gang’, or an authority figure. Only disciples can form disciples. If you love JESUS (not just the Church or being a good person), and are willing to speak of your friendship with Him, about what He said to you in your personal prayer time, how He has been challenging and changing you, that is the most powerful way to form others. "There is nothing more beautiful than to know Him and to speak to others of our friendship with Him." Pope Benedict XVI And of course, LOVE and PRAY FOR your young people by name.

2. Lay youth ministers: We need to be willing to form and release lay youth ministers and lay core teams. Not all priests are able to relate well with youth. Not all seminarians are able to stay with a youth group for more than a year, or spend time with the youth apart from the weekly meeting. A lay youth minister is more than a youth group president or an assistant for the seminarian or priest, but a leader in his or her own right, working in cooperation and communication with the priest or seminarian. Of course, the youth minister and lay teams MUST be disciples, or you’re creating more problems than you solve.

3. Relationships over events: Most of discipleship happens in one on one relationships. Every youth should have someone from the core team of disciples checking in on them, taking them out for chai and asking about their life at least once a month. This is how FOCUS functions in US college campuses, and I know of many who have come to know Christ through these relationships. When I was 15, I belonged to a small group from the lay Catholic community my family belonged to, and my on on one conversations with my leader (a single woman in her 30s) helped me process many of my decisions in the light of Christ and affected my choices once I went to college.

4. Small groups and bible studies: Apart from the larger youth group meetings, young people need to be divided into groups of 4-6 (even seven can become unwieldy) who can meet in each other’s homes and keep in more regular contact with each other at least every couple of weeks. They are guys'and girls' groups who they know they can turn to when they’re struggling, and if they need help or prayers (yay Whatsapp groups). Usually they won’t get that in a larger group setting. It’s difficult for everyone to care for everyone without cliques forming, or people slipping between the cracks. What can they do when they meet? Read the bible together, and share what God is saying to them. Share what’s going on in their lives, and pray for each other. So simple, and yet so fruitful.

5. Encounter retreats: The most important event that every youth group should have every year is a live-in retreat with a chance for every youth to hear the message of Jesus’ personal love, and His invitation to turn away from sin and live with Him and for Him. You could invite a group (like mine ;-)) to lead the retreat, or you could take them to Divine Retreat Center, or you could organize it yourself and invite speakers or you could send them to a retreat organized by another group. This is where we need to get rid of rivalry and suspicion, and come together to use our gifts for each other. If they have never had a chance to have a personal encounter, everything else is superfluous.

6. Evangelization and service to the poor: After they have had their encounter, invite the youth to think of ways they can bring this same love to others. Let them take the initiative, and support them and guide them. I’ve seen all sorts of cool outreaches, from young people taking the streets handing out packed meals to beggars and talking and praying with them, to handing out coffee and saying ‘Jesus loves you’ to random passersby on Main Street, to running summer clubs for kids from the slum, to organizing retreats themselves, to visiting and serving with the Missionaries of Charity in Kolkata. The key is that it should be THEIR project, not just something we are forcing them to do, or micromanaging.

7. Regular Adoration: One of the most-attended monthly events a group I belonged to had was just an hour-long visit to an Adoration chapel. Young professionals would flock to it. Silence and time with the Lord is something so beautiful, and so intimate, but sometimes we need someone to organize it or invite us into it. It could be even more beautiful if it started with some reverent songs of worship (Wonder by Bethel, Since Your Love, O Come to the Altar, Jesus (Holy and Anointed One)) but was followed by just silent prayer. If you want to make disciples, you need to give them some Spiritual Radiation Therapy with the Son.

8. Solid talks at the weekly meeting: We need to give our young people solid food if we want them to grow into spiritual maturity. That means youth group meetings can’t just be used for practises, planning and organization of parish events. What kind of solid talks? Talks that are relevant to their lives – how to deal with conflict in a Christ-like way, how to resist temptation, how to deal with attraction, when and how to start a relationship, how to discern God’s will, how to pray, spiritual warfare, Theology of the Body. Use the bible, church teaching, and the wisdom of the saints. Introduce them to the YouCat and the Catechism. Invite solid speakers. Make sure there is time for discussion groups and QnA.

9. Personal prayer, Scripture reading and Confession: Emphasize the importance of daily personal prayer and Scripture reading, and check in on them regularly about how they are doing. Share with them testimonies of those who experienced grace through Confession and encourage them to go monthly. Let them know a regular time when the priest is available.

10. Praise and Worship: Start every meeting with a time of praise and worship. It doesn’t have to be long – just 15 minutes, but it can focus their attention on the Lord. Encourage the guitarists of the group to take the lead. Disclaimer- ACTION SONGS are NOT praise and worship.

11. Respect their freedom: Don’t pressure youth into taking more responsibility than they’re ready for. That just leaves them with a resentful heart. If people are feeling overloaded, or they have a lot of pressure from college, home or work, listen to them, and let them step back for a while. Events are not more important than people. Also, if youth group is a place of joy and growth, you won’t have to force youth to attend. They’ll come. Don't baby, bully, boss or manipulate them. Treat them as equals with a voice. Propose, do not impose. Also, go house to house and invite youth who do not attend for an event (they're more likely to come for an outreach event where they get to serve).

12. Have fun: Putting Christ at the center of everything doesn’t mean signing up for a boring life. On the contrary, when we know the Lord and use our energy and heart to love and serve Him, it transforms our fun times too. Board game nights, movie nights, dancing, football matches, karaoke – encourage and participate in healthy and fun activities. Give them an alternative to clubs and expensive restaurants.

Young people are lonely. They are searching for meaning and something authentic in a world of fakes. They do not need just a social club. They desire something more. They are capable of so much more. "Life with Christ is a wonderful adventure." Let's invite them into that adventure.

So, what are you waiting for? Approach your parish priest and ask him if you can help with the youth group. Or if he is unwilling, just start doing these things with the youth you know. If you need help with getting some of these started, my group can help! Let me know. Let’s pray for true renewal in the Church starting with our young people.