Why yes, it is your local Relationship Guru back in town, willing and eager to spill all her pearls of wisdom into the ears of all 145 audience members. My qualifications? Well, I've been single for over thirty years, briefly had a boyfriend for all of three and a half months, and am now engaged to said boyfriend (yes guys, that WAS an engagement announcement, I wasn't even trying to be sneaky or anything).
So my relationship advice is built more on my fifteen years of thinking, researching, observing, reading, comparing and hearing about the mistakes and wisdom of other couples (more commonly mistakes though). So feel free to take it with a pinch of salt.
Stage One: Fall in Love with Jesus (DO NOT SKIP)
Start a relationship with Jesus. Until you know who you are in Him, you will not be ready to enter a relationship with another human being freely and whole-heartedly. So many of us are looking for another human being to give us worth, to tell us we are valuable, worthy, lovable. And they do play a part in affirming the truth about our identity. And yet, if we haven't allowed the deepest questions of our heart to be answered by the One who shaped and formed our hearts, then we often fall into some of the typical ways to destroy a relationship before it even begins - becoming obsessed with someone who is not interested in us, being in love with being in love, making relationships and marriage an idol, chasing someone who is not right for us, turning a blind eye to red flags (because you will sacrifice anything for this idol), and getting into and staying in physically or emotionally abusive relationships.
So guys, please... find yourself before you go looking for someone else. And the best way to find yourself is in the arms of the original Lover of our souls.
- Go on a retreat
- Start visiting an Adoration chapel every time your heart is hungry
- Start a prayer journal
- Be honest with God
- Read Fill These Hearts by Christopher West
- Ask yourself - "Is God really enough? Can I be happy even if I never find someone?" If you can honestly say yes, move on to Stage 2.
- If your answer is "Not yet", maybe you should choose to commit a year to remaining single, focussing on other aspects of your life.
- The best way to find yourself and find God is to lose yourself in service of others. It is the most freeing, fulfilling way to become who you are meant to be. And whatever vocation God is calling you to, service is a great preparation for it.
- Try to live in community with other men or women. Build good friendships. My life on different women's teams and households has taught me many invaluable lessons about myself and the ways I need to grow, that romantic relationships are not the only ways to give or receive love, and that it is possible to live a happy and fulfilling life as an unmarried adult.
Stage 2: The Search
Related Links:
Where's MY Person?
Nine Things Christian Singles Are Secretly Afraid Of
On Waiting
Life Begins when You Meet the Man of Your Dreams
So my relationship advice is built more on my fifteen years of thinking, researching, observing, reading, comparing and hearing about the mistakes and wisdom of other couples (more commonly mistakes though). So feel free to take it with a pinch of salt.
Stage One: Fall in Love with Jesus (DO NOT SKIP)
Start a relationship with Jesus. Until you know who you are in Him, you will not be ready to enter a relationship with another human being freely and whole-heartedly. So many of us are looking for another human being to give us worth, to tell us we are valuable, worthy, lovable. And they do play a part in affirming the truth about our identity. And yet, if we haven't allowed the deepest questions of our heart to be answered by the One who shaped and formed our hearts, then we often fall into some of the typical ways to destroy a relationship before it even begins - becoming obsessed with someone who is not interested in us, being in love with being in love, making relationships and marriage an idol, chasing someone who is not right for us, turning a blind eye to red flags (because you will sacrifice anything for this idol), and getting into and staying in physically or emotionally abusive relationships.
So guys, please... find yourself before you go looking for someone else. And the best way to find yourself is in the arms of the original Lover of our souls.
- Go on a retreat
- Start visiting an Adoration chapel every time your heart is hungry
- Start a prayer journal
- Be honest with God
- Read Fill These Hearts by Christopher West
- Ask yourself - "Is God really enough? Can I be happy even if I never find someone?" If you can honestly say yes, move on to Stage 2.
- If your answer is "Not yet", maybe you should choose to commit a year to remaining single, focussing on other aspects of your life.
- The best way to find yourself and find God is to lose yourself in service of others. It is the most freeing, fulfilling way to become who you are meant to be. And whatever vocation God is calling you to, service is a great preparation for it.
- Try to live in community with other men or women. Build good friendships. My life on different women's teams and households has taught me many invaluable lessons about myself and the ways I need to grow, that romantic relationships are not the only ways to give or receive love, and that it is possible to live a happy and fulfilling life as an unmarried adult.
Stage 2: The Search
Related Links:
Where's MY Person?
Nine Things Christian Singles Are Secretly Afraid Of
On Waiting
Life Begins when You Meet the Man of Your Dreams
Get ur Ex back instantly ☆★☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆★☆R.buckler11@[Gmail.com ],
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